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To Become A Mother Is Choice And Not A Sacrifice #MomByChoice

Mother Is Choice And Not A Sacrifice

Representational image: iStock

The word ‘conventional’ never suited me. Guess I was born to defy that adjective, because as a child when the other girls played Ludo, I played cricket; where other girls preferred to be driven down to school, I rode on my bicycle; while others opted for engineering, I took a masters degree in business management and then went on to become a journalist. MBA and a journalist, sounds strange? Now you know why I said ‘conventional’ never went with me.

I did another unconventional thing in an orthodox South Indian society by opting for a love marriage. Some may call it ‘breaking the norms’, but I would term it ‘listening to my heart’.

We moved to a different city, made it ours, and got busy in our careers. Being a journalist, I had odd timings with late night work and weekend assignments. Having children was never on the cards, or at least I thought so.

But three years into our marriage, my husband began feeling the need for a third person. No, don’t read me wrong. He wanted kids, and though I was not very sure, I didn’t want to say no because there is something called a biological clock too, right?

#MomByChoice

I took the plunge knowing fully well that I need to choose between my career and the baby. I remember how my colleagues would give a strange look at me and ask, “How are you able to work when you are so heavily pregnant?” Well, I managed.

To be honest, all through the nine months I had no feelings for the fetus growing inside me. It was just a mechanical change. But when the delivery happened, (I chose to undergo the pain of natural birth) and the little life was put in my hands, life has all changed for me.

My priorities changed, my outlook changed and so did my schedule. I could no more work in the nights, leaving the infant unattended. The time, which I have feared for so long, has finally come. Career or child? But as always, my brain wouldn’t think the conventional way. It thought, why not ‘career and child’?

I made some calculated moves. Quit the job, and took a maternity break. Once my baby was six months old, I moved to a day job, where I also had the weekends for myself. But the society isn’t kind to women who take such drastic decisions.

“How can she leave a months-old baby?” “She is heartless.” “She is ambitious,” people said, but that only strengthened my resolve. I made sure I performed well both as a mother at home and project manager at work.

And I am not surprised that my seven-year-old son is a gem of a boy now. He is more independent and far more matured than the kids of his age. He is helpful and can think beyond his age. He makes me feel proud that my decisions didn’t go wrong.

No, my story doesn’t stop there. Three years after my first child, the itch for the second began. This time my family and husband were reluctant, but I knew I wanted to experience the beauty of motherhood one more time.

The second child was more difficult than the first, as I already have a career and a child to look after. But this time my experience as a mother helped me out. My naughty daughter is three years old now, and I cannot imagine how our family would have been left incomplete without the little devil.

My kids have been growing, and so is my career. What is amazing is that I gained dexterity in managing both. It is all about time management. Yes, I don’t get time to indulge in petty gossip or watch those drama-filled soap operas. But then I don’t complain.

Time is so precious in my life. Probably, that’s the reason my husband gifted me Titan Raga on my birthday. So thoughtful of him to choose that pretty wrist watch for me! And I am not surprised that he bought that for me because Titan Raga is for the modern woman who puts herself at the core of all her decisions. She understands that she has every right to stand up for her happiness while taking care of her universe.
She doesn’t believe in sticking to the norms of conventional ideas about motherhood but creates her own version.

So, why have I written about my journey of motherhood? Yes, to connect with many other unconventional mothers, be it stay-at-home or career women, who have been doing a commendable job. Want to share your Titan Raga story? Then what are you waiting for?

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Bhavana Navuluri

writing is my passion and my family is my inspiration. I am a homeopathic physician and mom of two lovely daughters. I love reading, writing, crafting and spending quality time with my kids.