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Are you usually soft spoken? Are you unlikely to spew expletives? Well, in labour, you are most likely going to turn into a foul-mouthed creature that has managed to terrify onlookers. Don’t be insulted, because most women go through this.
When people are in pain, they are often candid, because all they can think about is said pain. So, when women get a little explicit while giving birth, don’t be so surprised. Since you won’t have a filter, you may make comments that are hilarious, but incredibly serious in your opinion. However, in retrospect, you realise the ridiculousness.
Here are 6 of the funniest things women have said during labour, so keep reading for some entertainment!
1. Patience Is Not Fun
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And neither is it a virtue in this case. If anyone says that to you during labour, you’re allowed to cuss at him or her. Your limits are already tested, so there is no time for patience. One woman who lost her composure during labour said something hilarious, albeit inappropriate. Here is what happened: while driving, her husband realised they were low on gas. At the gas station was an elderly man in a wheelchair who couldn’t enter, so he asked the husband to get him cigarettes. His wife, struggling with her labour yelled, “Don’t help the cripple!” But hey, smoking is bad for you! And husbands, ensure your car has enough gas!
2. Future Mothers, Be Afraid
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However comfortable you try to get during labour, it is still going to hurt. Some women ask for painkillers and some women choose not to. One mommy-to-be was screaming so loud because of the pain, a nurse told her that if she continued to scream, she would scare other mothers. The woman replied saying, “They should be scared!” Well, thanks for the heads up!
3. Brace Yourselves
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During labour, you can get an episiotomy, which is a cut that is made between the vagina and anus to allow a wider opening for your baby to pass through. Sadly, the recovery process is awful, and obviously the cut has to be closed via sewing. One mom said to the doctor, “Are you crocheting down there?” Another mom said, “Are you weaving a friendship bracelet down there?”
4. Pain Makes You… Silly
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Many women need to have their mothers by their side. After all, we always need our mommy when in pain. This one woman had her mother comforting her and told her to relax and breathe. The daughter responded by saying, “You have no idea what this is like.” Who’s judging though? Pain makes us crazy!
5. Embarrassing Things Happen
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A lot of bizarre embarrassing things happen during labour – pooping, gas, and copious amounts of blood. However, this woman’s experience was a little different. A nurse did an internal exam and told the almost mother she could feel hair. The mother thought her bikini wax wasn’t done well! After, she realised the nurse was talking about the baby’s hair.
6. Sarcastic Comments
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Did you know that laughing gas is popular during labour, as laughing helps keep your mind away from the pain? You’ll be less stressed because your husband’s stupid questions won’t bother you and neither will their impatience. You just have to lay back, inhale, and relax.
Other women use a different form of humour, namely sarcasm. One started cracking hilarious jokes. For example, she said, “Knock, knock.” And her reply to the standard response “Who’s there?” was “The baby, not yet!”She deserves an applause for finding humour in such a situation.
That being said, all women deserve one for giving birth. As the name suggests, labour is by far not easy. The pain causes women to say crazy things, providing us with entertainment.
