Are you blaming yourself for your miscarriage? Are you having sleepless nights thinking of where you went wrong during your pregnancy? Miscarriage is the worst nightmare for all pregnant women.
Miscarriage causes both physical ordeal and emotional trauma. The sense of loss, shock, guilt, and grief is beyond words. Read on to learn about coping with miscarriage and how you can help yourself and your partner accept it.
What Is A Miscarriage?
A miscarriage is a spontaneous or quick abortion. A miscarriage happens when the fetus moves out of the uterus before it can survive independently outside. It usually occurs within the first 20 weeks of pregnancy. However, in most cases, a miscarriage usually happens within the first 12 to 14 weeks. Depending on when the loss occurs, a miscarriage will be termed either early or late. An early miscarriage is one that happens before 12 weeks of pregnancy. A later miscarriage is one that happens post the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. While dealing with a miscarriage is surely difficult, it is common.
[ Read: Can Stress Cause Miscarriage ]
How To Cope With A Miscarriage?
Having a miscarriage can be quite traumatic as it shatters your immediate baby dreams. You are not only plunged in grief, shock and guilt but also riddled with fear and doubts about future prospects. You may even try to go through your past few weeks and days and analyze what you did and what you could have done differently. Such a reaction is common and may help you comprehend the loss and accept it.
Here are some of the feelings you may be battling with at this stage:
Most women go through this. Denial is your body’s first response to the loss. You may be telling yourself that what just happened is not true and cannot be happening to you. During the denial phase, you may be in a state of shock and recovering from it and facing the reality will still take some time.
Blaming yourself for the loss is also a common form of trying to cope with it. It is important to understand that this was not your fault. You were happy about the pregnancy, and you wanted to have a healthy baby but what happened was beyond your control. As a miscarriage can be a result of certain medical conditions.
While you experience this loss, it can be devastating to see your near and dear ones happy with their babies. The anger you feel on seeing this is normal and understandable. Remember that things will not always remain this way. You will soon overcome your grief and anger and learn to be happy for those around you.
4. Numbing Grief:
You may be overwhelmed with a feeling of numbness while coping with a miscarriage. You may also feel a sense of fatigue and tiredness at all times. You may want to lie down and not get out of bed at all.
Loss of interest in your regular activities is a common sign of depression post-miscarriage. There may be a change in your eating, sleeping and other activities. You may find it difficult to talk to or even face others.
[ Read: Pregnancy After Missed Abortion ]
How To Cope After Having A Miscarriage?
Remember your partner may also be experiencing the same sense of loss post-miscarriage that you are going through. Here are a few tips that can help the two of you to cope with your loss.
- Remember a miscarriage is largely common and does not mean you cannot have a healthy baby soon.
- Spend time with your partner, take a vacation together and spend some time with nature.
- Do activities that interest both of you and talk to each other about your grief.
- Once you start accepting and talking about the loss it will be easier for you to come out of your grief and start planning again.
- Talk to your doctor about when it is safe to start planning again.
[ Read: When To Expect Period After Miscarriage ]
Coping with miscarriage grief takes time and understanding. So be nice to yourself and do not blame yourself or your partner for anything.
Hope by now you know how to cope with a miscarriage. If you have undergone the trauma of miscarriage, we would appreciate if you could share any tips or experience that could help moms who are trying to cope with a similar loss.
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