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When pregnant, you might be a victim of quite a few involuntary actions, or unpreparedness for dumb questions thrown from people, or mindless words your pregnant mind would prompt you to say. Losing control over yourself is pretty valid this time around. So whatever embarrassments that ensue, just take it with a pinch of salt!
Here’s how your pregnancy could embarrass you:
- You pull over your car to the side of the road while you’re back from work because you need to puke. A cop follows you, and you need to convince him that you are not high on LSD. You are simply pregnant.
- You might be at work and feel nauseous the whole time, not knowing the real cause (was it the deep fried samosa I had last night). Finally, you can’t contain yourself and rush to the washroom ten cubicles away puking all along. Why didn’t you get there in time!
- When pregnant you were so overweight that you almost broke the toilet seat!
- As a second time preggo, you go to pick your child from school. As you pick your son in your arms, he sticks his little hand under your shirt and tells his teacher how big your boobs are now and how comfy it is to sleep on them.
- You are at a store with your child. You bump into a friend who asks you whether you are going to have a boy or a girl. Even before you tell her, your child jumps up with the most cringe-worthy response – that you don’t know yet, but if it is a boy you are surely going to name him ‘Dumbstruck Penis’.
- You could be constipating during pregnancy. But take the instance when you are just out of the shower and as you bend down to dry your legs, you baby kicks you so hard that the next thing happens. What makes it worse – your husband just enters the room to witness the whole thing.
- Having bowel movements in your sleep and dreaming about it at the same time while still lying in the bed – can there be anything worse than this in pregnancy?
- You could be with a pregnancy diet session with your dietician. She would speak to you at length about all kinds of food at a time when the very thought of smells of these foods make you nauseous. You puke over her right there.
- You could be sitting to shave your legs. But your belly is so huge that you can barely see your legs and would shave your belly button instead.
- You could be at a public library bending down to get a book out of the lowest rack and your trousers rip apart. Now, it’s so quiet in the library that you will sound quite the ripper.
- If you are a heavily pregnant waitress, don’t continue work until well after you have delivered. This woman was waiting the tables when one day her bump hit the back of a bald guy’s head, and the bottle of wine she was carrying fell into his lap. Of course, she was not allowed to work there after that.
- You could have quite a wardrobe malfunction. Sometimes people are just not bothered to tell a pregnant woman that her skirt is stuck in the waistband as her rear end is peeping out. Your belly button projecting out could just save your face.
- What’s more, you could be wearing two different shoes, let alone two different socks. Your belly didn’t let you see that as you were getting dressed up.
- You could get stuck in your bathtub for hours – seriously – until you finally give birth right there.
- You could be on a plane and have stomach issues. You end up spending an hour in the washroom. When you walk back all the way to your row, your neighbor tells you that the seat cover is sticking out of your pants. The seat covers are wet. You will want to hide your face at this.
Faced any of these before? Tell us in the comments below.
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