I had a coworker who would turn green-eyed with the women going on maternity leave. It was not only the length of their absence, but also the fact that he would envy the beautiful gift that women have of bearing a child. The flip-side was that he never knew what it feels to be pregnant! His case-hardness eventually created a rift between him and his wife. So if you’re wife is expecting, here is a little handy note for you before you blurt out anything to her:
1. Kim Kardashian Still Rocks:
Leave alone the mothers-to-be, even the single women out there vie with their style icons. If you praise a celebrity (although inadvertently) who can fund her body-maintenance even after childbirth, you are more likely to send signs of belittling your wife.
2. You Are Hungry All The Time:
Should you be asked to fetch her fav foods, or hit the kitchen to help make an untimely snack, don’t frown. Don’t show that you are appalled at her hunger pangs. You daren’t refuse to cook or drive a couple of blocks to get the favorite take-away (even an alternative food should do at this point) before she grabs you by the collar and throws you out of that couch.
3. What Gets You Tired So Easily? :Sponsored
What, you think your wife’s energy is like a capacitor, fully charged enough to sprint about any damn thing at any point of time? Man, she is pregnant. And hope you understand what that means. You have placed a life in her that is growing. And most of her energies are spent on nourishing that life inside of her.
4. Deciding The Baby name? Not Again:
She almost never settles over a name for the baby. She is naturally excited to pick the most befitting name. So pretending to fall asleep while she comes up with the names galore is not a very nice thing to do. Be a round-the-clock nomenclature enthusiast!
5. Hurry Up! :
Waiting by the car for her to jump in is not fair. You know how pregnant women can get slow. Not in their thought-process ;) but physically they must move slowly to stay safe and hence must maneuver through things. So if her kiwi-like waddles seem like it’s taking forever to join you, staying mum should be all that you must do.
6. I Know How It Feels/You Are Fine:
How could you even identify yourself with a bumpy woman to be able to say that? If she isn’t fine, then she isn’t. Don’t pretend that you understand what she is going through. It’s not an emotional thing alone. Even the body doesn’t allow her to be all hunky-dory. Say the truth – “I don’t know how it feels like, but I really wish I were in your place to take your pains.”
7. The House Is So Messy! :
Are you asking your wife to be up and about, and clean the house? Not a thoughtful thing to say. And definitely a servile order. If things are scattered around, it’s not because she has strewn things apart. It’s because she cannot bend and pick up things. And it’s more so because you haven’t been doing your part in keeping things at their place at the right time.
8. Are We Shopping Again? :
A crib, few onesies and toys will just not complete the list. Each time she reads about baby arrival, her list of to-shop-things will be getting bigger. Be prepared with your wallet, the time and muster some patience.
9. You Don’t Want Me To Come To The Doctor, Do You? :
Who said you were going for your routine check-up? Moral support is all that she needs when she visits her doc. You might as well chance to see the baby on ultrasound and she might want to share the excitement with you!
10. Your Pregnant Tummy Freaks Me Out A Bit:
It’s not you who is going to scream out from the labor room. By saying that, you are only mounting her prevailing fears. Instead, tell her that you will be by her side all the times, so that it will alleviate her anxieties.
So the dads-to-be out there: it’s not just these. Be a little more watchful with your slip-of-the-tongues. Bear in mind that your partner looks up to you for all the support and compassion. Make sure you tell her that you love her – that is possibly all that she wants to hear.
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