I thought it is time I wrote this letter to you.
I got back to work after a hiatus of five years. That means I haven’t left you alone from the time you were born until your fifth birthday. Fortunately, your dad never asked me to work, and I was a happy stay-at-home mom mothering you and nurturing you just like every other mother. But, then I got this excellent offer through your aunt’s reference and I just couldn’t resist accepting it. You know, the way you can’t resist that Ferrero Rocher chocolate?
I had my apprehensions of leaving you behind and trust me I had no idea how I was going to make it work. I was doubtful until the last minute if I would be joining back work or not, but then I did and completed a month, which is why I am writing this to you my dearest son.
Let me confess my child; I love belonging to the corporate world and the clan of working women. It gives me an identity of my own apart from being a daughter, wife, and mother. Or maybe I want the best of both worlds – be a working mother.
I like to beg with those who opine, ‘Why should women have kids, when they can’t be there for them’. Why should women bear the brunt always? We struggled hard to earn our degrees just like men did, we have worked endlessly to make our careers, and now when it comes to taking care of our kids, it becomes the sole responsibility of a mother. Why? Isn’t the father responsible too? Luckily, your father realizes that I need a career, and hence supported me.
So, when I had made up my mind to work, I made sure that I will leave you in safe hands.
I tried finding a good babysitter, but that wasn’t an easy task. Moreover, I was too scared to leave you alone with anyone.
So, I thought a daycare would be a better option. I chose the one which has all that I wanted – safety, hygiene, playtime and more. It is like a second home to you now.
But the initial days were terrible. As that was the first time ever I left you alone, I was worried if you will eat your lunch without me, if you will take your afternoon nap in my absence. And, to whom will you run when you get hurt.
The moment you would say goodbye while going to school, I would kiss you and tell, “The caretaker will come and pick you up from the bus bay.” You would say, “Mom, I don’t want to go to the daycare.”
My baby, while I understood your problem, did you ever notice that I was fighting back my tears saying, “I will come back home early today”? I just can’t get over the innocent pain in your face. And, I know every time you hurt yourself, how you would suppress your pain until I came to pick you up from the daycare.
I would drive down to office thinking about you and then get busy with work. I couldn’t wait for the moment when it would show five on my monitor, so that I can rush back to you.
But in four weeks, you have adapted so very well to the daycare that you would tell me, “Mom, why did you come back from work so fast, I am in the middle of an activity.”
Thank you so much, my darling son. Without your support, I would have never realized my dream of restarting my career.