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A couple of days after my wedding, I met my childhood friend. The first question she asked me was, “Should I call you with your maiden name or your new name?” I asked her, “How would it make a difference at all?”
I haven’t changed overnight, so why should my name be? Weren’t we told that our name is our identity? Isn’t it the same with the maiden surname we hold? My name and my surname have been my identity for 26 years before I got married. Changing my name was like erasing the memories of those memorable years, when I grew up with my parents and siblings, shared fun times with my friends and had happy moments in school and college.
I have been married for ten years now, but I haven’t changed my surname and have no intentions of changing it in the future either.
Let me tell you why I didn’t take on my husband’s last name after marriage:
- I am my father’s pet (and even if I’m not,) and I didn’t want to disrespect my family by changing my surname.
- I have established my own identity by the time I got married. Changing my surname would be like killing a part of myself. I am connected to my name, and it feels strange to change it. This identity remains for life, and I am proud of it. There’s no reason, whatsoever, to give it up.
- Changing your surname on all your certificates and other documents from your driving license to the passport, is an ordeal. It requires a lot of paper and legal work. Do you really want to go through those hours of standing in queues and requesting those officers to oblige? At least I wouldn’t!
- Marriage doesn’t mean that you have to take over your husband’s last name. It’s more important to love and care for him and be there for each other at all times. This is what works in a relationship. Changing name appears insignificant on the marriage meter.
- So, what’s the big deal if I don’t change my last name? Does it bother anyone? It’s perfectly alright for the family not to share the same surname.
- Is the husband expected to change his last name to that of his wife’s? No. Then, why only the wife?
- Thankfully, my husband never bothered to even discuss this issue with me. It was simply not affecting my relationship. Then why should I?
- I take pride in my generation, and I want to carry my grandfather’s surname till I die. This was important to me, which is why I still continue my maiden name.
- It’s easier to be found on Facebook and other social networking sites who knew me by my maiden name than the changed name.
- Hyphenated names (maiden name and husband’s name) make it too cumbersome and confusing. I let my maiden name remain to save me the trouble of hyphenated names.
- I always took pride in my surname. Being called the girl of “so-and-so” family filled my heart with unexplained satisfaction. I didn’t want to be deprived of it.
Changing your name is a matter of choice and not something that has to be forced upon. There are other significant things in a relationship that have to be worked upon such as bonding with your husband’s family, sharing responsibilities, and spending time together. Changing your name should not matter at all, let your identity remain always.
Have you taken your husband’s surname or retained yours? Do let us know your opinion.
