Is your kid getting on your nerves and making it difficult for you to control your anger? Does he create a commotion as he doesn’t want to go have a bath because he’s too busy playing? A lot of kids tend to have anger issues during their developing years. This is not something you should be worrying about as long as you know how to deal with anger in kids.
Best Ways On How To Control Anger In Kids:
Here are some simple things that you can do to control your child’s anger.
1. Parenting Style:
Parenting style plays an important role in educating aggression. Use accidental aggression as teaching moments.
For example, if your child hurts his friend, don’t react then and there and yell at him. Instead, use that incident to show your child how an aggressive behavior can hurt others. Make your child realize and apologize sincerely to the other child.
Also, educate your child on how to deal productively with negative emotions such as anger and frustration. Ask your child to promote verbal communication and to dictate the problem. Take note of any serious signs that your child is developing to stop the aggressive behavior.
[ Read: Child’s Temper Tantrums ]
2. Talk It Out:
One of the best ways to tackle any problem is to talk it out and explain each other’s point of view. Make sure you allow your kid to speak up his mind about what is bothering him. This will help you get a clear insight into your child’s problems and give you a fresh perspective for learning anger management for kids.
If your kid doesn’t want to discuss things with you, do not coerce. Try to gain his confidence slowly.
3. Discuss In An Appropriate Manner:
Parents need to stay calm to handle their children. Even if you had a tough day, calm down and discuss with your child about his actions in a peaceful way. Tell him about the results of his actions and that other children are unlikely to play with him in future if he continues such a behavior.
Regular counseling is necessary.
4. Stay Connected:
Make sure you’re in touch with what’s happening in your kid’s life. A lot of times, feelings of anger and fear tend to stem into your child due to lack of self confidence or some other issues at school or home. Keep in touch with your kid’s class teacher and actively track his progress at school.
With childhood bullying and developmental disorders getting more common today, you would not want to take chances. Make it a point to take out some time from your busy schedule and have a talk with your kid about his school, his friends and hobbies.
5. Be A Role Model:
Always remember that children often imitate the behavior of their parents. If you, as a parent, act aggressively, then chances are that your child will copy you.
Therefore, resist doing something in presence of your kid in response to negative circumstances. Be calm and patient in front of your child and set good examples.
[ Read: How To Correct Bad Habits In Children ]
6. Stay Calm:
No matter how much you’re tempted do not get angry. Getting angry over a situation where your kid is crying and cribbing for a petty issue can only make things worse; so get a hold of your calm nature.
Once your kid has calmed down, sit down with him and explain him how you managed to stay calm when you didn’t approve of his behavior, and that one can handle things better when they’re more calm and composed.
7. Encourage Physical Activity:
Physical activity is a must for developing kids, and if your kid has been a couch potato for too long and is cribbing and throwing temper tantrums over his reduced screen time, you know what to do. Encourage getting outdoors and trying new sports activities, or just get him to take the dog for a walk if he’s old enough for that.
Physical activity will help him release his energies in a constructive way. You could also get out with him- this will help strengthen the mother-child bond.
8. Give Comfort and Affection:
Your kid requires all the love and affection that you give him, and this is of utmost importance in cases where both the parents work. Let your little one know that you’ll be there for him always to support him and help him out in issues that concern him.
Comfort your child in cases where he experiences loss of control over a situation and explain him that it is not the end of the world, and not all situations can be handled by displaying anger.
9. Appreciate Your Child‘s Good Behavior:
Positive discipline strategies such as motivating them by appreciating and rewarding will help reduce their aggression. Just as it is important to get strict with your kid when he starts into bad behavior, you should also make it a point to praise him for his good behavior.
Whenever you take your child somewhere and if he behaves well shower him with praises and show him how it really made you happy. This will make your child feel better and would want him to behave in a positive manner more often.
If your child has been trying to control his anger and didn’t make a scene over something you would usually expect him to, appreciate it by cooking his favorite meal or by simply giving him a pat on the back or a few quick kisses.
[ Read: How To Deal With Moody Children ]
10. Instill Self Control:
Anger is a part of human nature, and we all get angry at some point of time in life. But if your child doesn’t learn to exercise self control over his anger and temper flare up during this very stage, it may become a part of his nature, and he may have problems getting rid of that habit in the future.
Your child may not have the ability to learn self control all by himself. Hence it becomes your responsibility as a parent to encourage him and guide him to stick to good behavior. Strive to help your kid control his emotions.
11. Set a Good Example:
This is probably the most important factor when it comes to bringing up children. Kids tend to learn a lot from their parents. Make sure you handle your ups and downs well without getting all angry and fuming over situations that you can’t handle.
12. Set Limits:
It is very important for a kid to learn to control his anger impulses. Never allow your child to pick up things in a fury and start throwing or breaking them. Set the limits and explain your kid in a calm manner that such kind of behavior will not be tolerated.
Give your child some time to calm down by himself, and then explain that being destructive is not right and displays him in a negative light. If possible, show examples of people who have controlled and handled their anger issues well.
13. Monitor The Influence Of Friends:
Friends play a crucial role in your child’s life and greatly influence his behavior. If your child observes his friends answering back to parents or behaving aggressively with their siblings, he will definitely start considering this as an acceptable behavior.
In this case, try to explain your child that the negative action of his friend is wrong.
14. Explain Constructive Problem Solving Ways:
One of the best ways to tackle kids with anger is by separating them from the source of trigger. While this may not be always possible, you can try to display the source of the anger in a different light. Allow your kid to understand and acknowledge his own contribution to a particular situation that’s causing anger. This will help him understand his responsibilities and will keep his anger outbursts in control.
Explain constructive ways to solve a particular situation, and emphasize to your little one that getting angry and throwing temper tantrums isn’t going to help him solve his issues.
[ Read: How To Discipline Your Child ]
How To Control Your Anger When Dealing With Kids:
Kids do not see any shades of grey. All they realize is their mom and dad is angry. Try and see from the point of view of your kid. You must never lose control while parenting, even though it is easier said than done. Here are some suggestions that can help you stay calm and know how to control anger with kids.
1. Keep reminding yourself that you will stay in control. You can set limits for yourself. While this is not easy, it will surely make some difference to the way you react.
2. Be ready for your kid to push buttons. Do not get upset if your kid is not doing what you expect her to do. Take it this way – your kid is doing her job and your job is to stay calm and guide her the right way.
3. Remember you are not responsible for everything that is going on. If you do so, you will be adding up more stress and get angry. All you can do is to take responsibility to help your kid solve her problem. You certainly cannot take the responsibility of making her listen to you; it is her decision after all.
4. Concentrate on how you can deal with her and stand up for yourself.
5. Prepare yourself for the time when you get highly anxious. Ask yourself how you can handle your fussy eater and what you can do when she refuses to eat.
6. Prepare yourself saying ‘no matter how much you try I will not involve myself in any power struggle with you.’ Guide yourself by the way you want to see yourself as a parent and do not get swayed away by the momentary feelings.
7. Think of the things that helped you in the past and how you soothed yourself in the most uncomfortable situations. Maybe walking out of the room helps, so do that. There is no point in reacting to the behaviors of your kid.
[ Read: Effects Of Verbal Abuse On Child ]
8. Take a deep breath and remember the differences between responding and reacting. Respond to her demands thoughtfully and think before you speak.
9. Keep repeating some slogans in your head when you feel emotions escalating in your mind. Say things like “stop”, “think”, “slow down”, and “breath”. Create mental pictures and work on that. It is a wonderful way of controlling anger with kids.
10. Think how you would want your relation to be with her someday. Think if the present scenario leads to the kind of relationship you visualize after 25 years. This will help you think, if the way you respond to your kid is right. If not, think of the ways you can change it. Keep the goal in your mind and see if your reactions are closer to your goal.
[ Read: How To Deal With Stubborn Kids ]
Remember that your kid is watching you, so make sure you control your anger and frustration in a positive way- your kid will be more likely to do the same when he’s angry. Parenting is a beautiful process, and the issues in bringing up your child have to be done with tact rather than on impulse.
Do share your interesting tips on how to control anger in kids with us in the comment section below:
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