Did you know there is so much that children can learn from your marriage? It’s not the mere conscientious effort in molding them into great human beings; your interaction with your spouse, the dynamics, and how your marriage reflects on your home and family seeps into their minds as they grow up. They will hold onto the same imprints that you have cast on them. Do you want your children to have a happy matrimony? If yes, here are top traits that are a MUST for your children to learn from your marriage:
1. Mutual Respect:
It is probably the most important part of a happy relationship. Treating each other with dignity and respect is what ties a neat family together. It isn’t restricted to respecting the person that your spouse is, but also respecting his/her ideas and opinions. Using kind words is a mark of mutual respect.
True affection is what keeps most together. Real affection determines a long-lasting marriage. One litmus test is: ask yourself if you want to grow old together. If the answer is yes, you still are in love!
With real affection comes attraction. You will find your spouse attractive no matter how old he/she gets.
Never let your finances get in the way of your matrimony. Don’t ever discuss finances in front of your children until they are old enough to fly away from the nest or until they are capable of making financial plans for the family. We are primarily talking about unconditional and long-term affections here.
Every time you have a conversation with your spouse, make sure it sends out good vibes, and it’s constructive, positive and loving. Bear in mind – your children are out there and listening. We understand that no marriage is perfect, and arguments are bound to happen, but the more they happen within closed doors, the better.
6. Sense Of Humor:
Add a dash of humor to your conversations. Laugh together. Get the kids to laugh along with you. It will make up for most of the quality time that you have at home.
Say how much you love your partner. Confess how beautiful he/she is. Tell your children what a wonderful parent he/she makes. And tell how grateful you are to have such a wonderful person in your life and the lives of your children to be making a wonderful, beautiful and well-rounded family.
A home livens up a bit more with frequenting of guests. Value your friends. Have them come over. Your children will learn the social etiquettes. They will learn to value the give and take between friends. And the generosity that you will display, they will take it up as a virtue.
9. Taking Time Out Together:
If your kids are a bit grown up, you can go on an exclusive date with your spouse. Go on a long drive, have candle-light dinner together or sneak out for a drink on the deck and watch stars together. It must drive home the point to your children that you value each other’s company. I call it ‘mature romance.’
10. Sacrifices For The Family:
Each of you might have made many sacrifices along the way – right from career choices to forgoing a great artifact for your home décor or a lovely evening gown – for your children and each other. Let your children know that if you hadn’t made those sacrifices, you wouldn’t have been where you are today as a family.
11. Praying Together:
When you pray together as a family, you feel the bonds getting stronger. Plus you get the amazing feeling of peace that prevails in the household.
12. Being Concerned About Each Other:
When you find your spouse brooding over something or seeming lost, ask if everything is ok. Ask if you can be of any help. And mean it! Look for constructive ways to overcome a situation.
13. Try To Unburden Each Other’s Responsibilities:
Volunteer to share chores with your spouse. Relieve each other of any mental worries or stress through encouraging words and a body language that gives them the much-needed strength.
14. Stay Connected – Always:
Calling up your spouse at work, asking how he/she is doing, what time he/she will be home, what to cook for dinner and the plans for the evening and sharing the happenings of the day at the dinner table will etch the perfect outline for your family time.
Your kids grow up watching you. The kind of relationship you share with your spouse is crucial to their all-round development. Make sure you create an environment at home that you want to get back to after work and enjoy a great time with family. It will lead to the behavioral pattern that you want your children to display in their marriage when they group up.