When you fall for someone, you fall for everything, irrespective of their gender. You feel the pull from multiple directions as your heart is open to more than one color. That’s the radiance of bisexuality. You are bisexual if the attraction for you extends over a wide spectrum of genders. You may prefer one gender, but other genders do not cease to appeal to you. Having strong feelings for more than one gender could bemuse you, but know that it is okay. Stay calm and acknowledge your emotions rather than dismiss them. Let’s look at what bisexuality means and ways to identify it. And once you are sure of being bisexual, we can look at what to do next and tackle some misconceptions.
What Is Bisexuality?
Earlier, bisexuality meant feeling attracted to both men and women. But with the evolution of the human race, more genders are recognized. Today, bisexuality refers to getting attracted to more than one gender. However, it doesn’t mean that a bisexual person simultaneously maintains a relationship with multiple partners from across genders.
What Are The Signs Of Bisexuality?
Labeling your sexuality is not simple. However, if you feel you may be bisexual, the following signs can help you better understand your preference.
1. You are attracted to multiple genders
The most significant indicator of bisexuality is having a strong attraction to people of different genders. You may find yourself checking out someone from the opposite sex and later experiencing an emotional or sexual pull from someone of the same gender.
2. You are confused
You want to fit in with the rest of the population and go after what is perceived as a normal romantic pursuit. But ‘normal’ does not appeal to you as your feelings are not limited to a specific gender.
3. You feel and relate to bisexuals
When you listen to someone’s story, you understand them. Their experiences are relatable. You like hanging out exclusively with the queer community. You support the LGBTQ+ community because you feel a sense of belonging.
4. You have a desire for different genders
You often fantasize about people belonging to the same and different genders. You dream of getting sexual with people, irrespective of their gender. At times, you may recall when you had a crush on a girl and a boy.
5. You experience a heightened interest in a variety of porn
Your porn collection has expanded, and same-gender action makes it to your personal collection’s top five favorites or the most played videos. Porn does not feel boring as you have so much to explore, plus you like watching both the male and female actors on screen.
6. You feel the need to take a ‘bi’ test
Are you always in conflict with your overwhelming feelings? You might feel compelled to determine what exactly you want. So, you often take the ‘am I bi’ test to check if your feelings can be validated and categorized as bisexual.
7. You yearn for someone of the same and opposite gender
You want a happy and long-lasting relationship. And you even imagine a happy life with a partner. However, your partner choice is not limited to a particular gender; you can be happy with anyone, be it a male, female, or non-binary.
8. You have a ‘sure’ feeling
Often, we dismiss some strong feelings as ‘just a phase.’ Your growing feelings for the same and different genders may be confusing but not fleeting. You know in your heart that this is not temporary, and you feel strongly bisexual. If you feel it deep within and if your inner voice says, ‘I am bisexual,’ then there cannot be a more legit confirmation. Embrace your uniqueness with pride.
How To Accept Bisexuality?
Having a sexual orientation different from most people makes you unique. There will be times when you will feel that no one understands you. But don’t worry, as you are not alone in this. Here is what you can do when you know you are bi.
1. Don’t make a haste
You may feel overwhelmed knowing you have discovered who you truly are. However, don’t be quick to label your orientation. Give yourself more time to understand your preferences. Sexuality is a fluid experience, so know that it may change over time.
2. Accept and embrace your uniqueness
Since not every stratum of society has opened, it is natural to feel scared of going against the norms. But being different is not wrong. So, don’t let society’s expectations keep you from accepting your true self. Your feelings are valid, and so is your unique orientation.
3. Hang out with a queer crowd
Join an LGBTQ+ group or hang out with people who can better understand you. Talking to and listening to their experiences will help you manage your feelings. Also, you can develop a support system and gain more confidence in yourself.
4. Take time to come out
There is no right or wrong time to come out. Your sexuality is your personal matter and depends entirely on whether you wish to share it with others. So, don’t take the pressure. Come out only when you feel sure of yourself and are prepared to face everyone’s reaction.
5. Be safe
You may want to explore your sexuality and experiment to understand what makes you tick. However, don’t be reckless in your quest. Learn more about STDs, know your boundaries, and be firm about what you are comfortable with and what is not acceptable.
The concept of bisexuality may seem complicated for some people. Various myths and misconceptions associated with it add further to the confusion. Let’s look at the most common ones and try to break them one by one.
Misconception 1: Bisexual people cheat in a relationship
Sexuality does not make a person prone or immune to cheating. Bisexuals may like men, women, and gender non-conforming individuals. However, their sexual preference does not prove they may or may not cheat in a relationship. The level of loyalty towards a single long-term relationship depends entirely upon the individual.
Misconception 2: Bisexuals are indecisive
Interest in multiple genders does not indicate confusion. Instead, they feel drawn to the same and different genders but can have their favorite or preferred sex.
Misconception 3: Relationship with the opposite gender turns a bi to heterosexual
Bisexuality is not a switch that can be turned on and off. It is an orientation that will last throughout life. Bisexuals have their preferences, and it’s their interest in the same and other genders that makes them bi. If a bi broke up with the same-gender partner and moved on with a different-gender partner, it could be because of their individuality and not due to their sexuality.
Misconception 4: Bisexuality is just a phase
No, it’s not! Sexuality is a complex concept, and it is natural to feel lost and confused. But that does not mean it is just a temporary phase and that a bi person will snap out of it one day. On the contrary, if someone identifies as bi, they may need time to understand what it means, and once they come to terms with it, they embrace it as a part of life.
Misconception 5: Bisexuals are attracted to anyone and everyone
Not at all! Bisexuality means being attracted to more than one gender. Bisexuals have preferences based on several factors and levels of attractiveness. Even a heterosexual person may not necessarily find every opposite-gender person attractive. So, why expect a bi to feel like that?
Misconception 6: Bisexuals seek threesomes
Not every bi out there has a wild fantasy. They can have a monogamous relationship without wanting to get into sexual experiments. Anyone can have multiple crushes but might not be interested in getting sexual with them. Similarly, a bi person may like more than one gender but might not want to share their personal space with everyone.
Misconception 7: Bisexuals cannot identify themselves without having multiple relationships
Does a heterosexual not identify as straight if they have not had a single relationship? No, right? Similarly, bis do not need to act upon their feelings and engage in multiple relationships with different genders to prove their sexuality. They can have a single relationship with a single gender all their life and still know they are bisexual.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How do I meet other bisexual people?
You can meet other bisexual people online through bisexual dating apps, bisexual social media groups, or even bisexual dating websites.
2. Can I be both transgender and bisexual?
Yes. Transgender is gender identity, while bisexuality is a sexual orientation. Your gender does not really determine your sexual orientation. So, a transgender person can identify as bisexual or any other sexual orientation.
3. What is the difference between bisexual and biromantic?
Romantic feelings are different from sexual feelings. Biromantic refers to someone who harbors romantic feelings for the same and other genders. However, they may not necessarily develop sexual feelings for multiple genders. Similarly, bisexuals may have sexual feelings for multiple genders but may not necessarily feel romantic for all.
Be easy on yourself and take your time to understand your feelings. When you finally determine your sexuality, don’t be embarrassed or afraid. You need not hide it either. Also, there is no need to divulge your sexual preference to everyone until your heart tells you to do so. You can try connecting with people in the LGBTQ+ community and seek help. Remember, you are beautiful, and love has no bounds.
Infographic: Misconceptions And Truth About Bisexuality
Not everyone understands bisexuality; hence there are several misconceptions attached to it. Romantic feelings are not right or wrong, it’s about how you accept them. In this infographic, we bring you some common myths about bisexuality and clear them once and for all.
- Bisexuality is a sexual orientation and not just a phase you will get over with time.
- Bisexuals are attracted to multiple genders but are not necessarily cheaters. They do have long-term relationships and can make loyal partners.
- Bisexuals are not indecisive and have their preferences for gender. People can date a single gender all their life and still be bisexual.