130+ Funny Pirate Jokes For Kids

Children love jokes and adventures. Combining the best of both worlds can guarantee laughter and giggles for your little ones. We bring you some funny pirate jokes for kids that can leave them in splits. Pirate humor is unique and is a great source of entertainment. Pirate puns are known for their unforeseen twists and “Arrrr” moments. A child’s laughter is therapeutic. Laughing together as a family is also a great bonding exercise. Read this post as we share some rib-tickling pirate jokes and riddles that will make your kid’s day.

In This Article

130+ Funny Pirate Jokes For Kids

1. How do the pirates know that they are pirates?
They think so, therefore they ARRRR!

2. What kind of ship do pirates find it hard to maintain?

3. How do pirates prefer to communicate?
Aye to aye! (Eye to eye)

4. Where do pirates park their pirate ships?
In the harrrrrrbor

5. Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?
Because they will just wash up on the shore later

6. Where do pirates go for the bathroom?
The poop-deck!

7. Why did the pirate go for a vacation?
He needed a little arrr and arrr.

8. What grades did the pirates get in school?
High Cs

9. What did the pirate get when he hit the skeleton?
A skull and the CROSS bones!

10. What will you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?
A rookie

11. What’s a pirate’s favorite country?

12. What did the pirate do the day before Halloween?
Mow his front yarrrrrd!

13. Which gym did the pirate visit?
The Gold’s Gym

14. What is the worst thing about cleaning a pirate ship?
The barrrrrrnacles

15. What did the pirate say when his leg got stuck in the freezer?
“Shiver me timber!”

16. How does a pirate, who wears a patch, say “Yes” to the captain?
“Eye Eye, captain.”

17. Which restaurant do pirates love the most?
The Harrrrrrd Rock Cafe

18. Why do pirates give away eye patches on Halloween?
Because iPads arrrrr too expensive!

19. How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheap?
He bought it on sail.

20. What was the name of the pirate’s spotted dog?

21. Why do pirates like killing zombies so much?
They are easy tarrrrrrgets!

22. Where did the pirate put his Halloween decoration?
In his front yarrrrrd!

23. How will you make a pirate furious?
Just take away the “p”

24. How do you know if a doctor is dressed up as a pirate?
He says AED a lot!

25. What was the pirate’s favorite mode of land transportation?

26. Where do pirates put their cars while they’re sailing?
A parrrrrking lot

27. Where do pirates keep their valuables?
In a jarrrr

28. What was the pirate’s favorite U.S. state?

29. What does a pirate say on his 80th birthday?
“Aye matey (I’m eighty) years old!”

30. Why didn’t the pirate eat candy on Halloween?
He was on a low Carrrrrrb diet!

31. What did the ocean say to the pirate?
It just waved saying nothing.

32. What soda do pirates’ always drink?
Arrrrrr Sea cola (RC Cola)

33. Why do Pirates hang out in groups and drink on Halloween?
Coz they love to paarrrrrrty!

34. How do pirates make their money?
By hook or by crook

35. Where do pirates buy pencils and sketch pads?
The arrrrrrt store.

36. What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes?
8 pirates

37. What do pirates do for fun?
Have parrrrrrties

38. What do pirates put on their toast?
Jelly Roger!

39. What did the pirate’s parrot say when it fell in love with a duck?
Polly wants a ‘quacker.’

40. What did the pirate penguin say to the parrot?
Nothing – penguins don’t speak parrot!

41. Which subjects does a pirate enjoy the most in school?
He enjoys ‘Aaarrrrttt’.

42. What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?
One has a rumbling tummy and the other a tumbling rummy.

43. How do you save a drowning pirate?

44. Why didn’t the pirate get hungry on the desert island?
Because of the sand-which is there!

45. What does a pirate eat for breakfast?
Captain Crunch

The funniest pirate jokes for kids
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46. How much does a pirate pay for his piercings?
A buck-an-ear

47. Why did the pirate like playing golf?
He was always under parrrrr.

48. What does a gourmet pirate add to the plate to make it look nice?
A Garrrrr-nish

49. What did the pirate say during the winter storm?
Thar she snows!

50. What are pirates afraid of?
The darrrrrk!

51. What’s a pirate’s favorite basketball move?
The hook shot

52. What do pirates do on Black Friday?
Shop the sails

53. Why does it take the pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C

54. Where do Pirates get their wooden legs from?
From a Carrrrrpenter!

55. What’s a pirate’s least favorite veggie?

56. I have never heard any funny pirate jokes, have you?
Well, neither have ayyyeee.

57. What’s a pirate’s favorite exercise?
The plank!

58. What was the pirate’s favorite food?

59. What shivers at the bottom of the ocean?
A nervous wreck

60. What’s a pirate’s favorite Halloween noise maker?
A parrrrty popper!

61. Why did the pirate go to the Apple store?
He needed a new ipatch.

Cool pirate jokes for kids that'll make you laugh
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62. Why did the pirate go to the college?
To become an arrrrrchitect!

63. Why does the pirate carry his sword?
Because swords can’t walk

64. What did the pirate say to his girlfriend?
“You are perfect just the way you Arrrrr!”

65. What has 12 legs, 12 arms, and 12 eyes?
A dozen pirates

66. Which Star Wars character do pirates like the most?

67. Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?
Because he was sitting on the deck!

68. What do you call a pirate’s painting?
Pirate’s painted piracy!

69. What is a pirate’s favorite doll?

70. Which famous pirate was always sad?
Captain Blue-Beard

71. How did the pirate stop computer hackers?
He installed a patch.

72. What do you call a foolish pirate?
The pillage fool

73. What are a pirate’s favorite letters?
Arrrr (R) and C (sea)

74. What did the pirate get when he crossed a cat with a parrot?
A carrot!

75. Where do pirates go for a drink?
At the sandbar

76. Why didn’t the pirate go to the movies?
Because it was rated Aaaargh.

77. What type of socks do pirates wear?

78. Why did the pirate give up playing golf?
Because he kept hooking the ball!

79. What bank is a pirate’s favorite bank?
The sandbank

80. What do pirates order at Italian restaurants?
Chicken Parrrrrmesan with spaghetti

81. Why did the shipwrecked pirate call his friend?
Because he trusted his friend-ship.

82. Which Halloween candy do pirates like the most?
Sweet Tarrrrrts.

83. Why do Pirates cry on their own?
Because they have private tears

84. What do you call a pirate who likes to skip school?
Captain Hooky!

85. Why don’t pirates go trick-or-treating on Halloween?
They arrrrr afraid of witches.

86. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of food?

87. What did the pirate say to the sumo wrestler?
You sure arrrrr fat.

88. What did the pirate get when he crossed a centipede and a parrot?
A walkie-talkie!

89. What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?
A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries.

90. Who was the first pirate?
Noah, the builder of the Arrrrk.

91. Why was the pirate digging at the beach?
To bury the hatchet!

92. Why were the pirate’s friends with Donkey Kong?
Because he was a barrrrel of fun

93. Where do pirates put their trash?
The Garrrrrbage can

94. What did the pirate say when he made a mistake?
To arrrr is pirate

95. What’s orange and sounds like a pirate’s parrot?
A carrot!

96. What happens when one pirate sees another pirate?

97. What was the pirate’s girlfriend called?

98. What did a pirate pay for his corn?
A buccaneer!

99. Why do pirates make great lawyers?
Because they’re very skilled at arrrrrguing

100. What’s a pirate’s favorite part of a song?
The hook!

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101. Which side of a pirate’s parrot has the prettiest feathers?
The outside!

102. Why did the pirate go to acting school?
He wanted a parrrrrt in the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie.

103. What did one pirate say to the other?
“I sea you!”

104. What did the pirate wear on Halloween?
A pumpkin patch

105. Where can you find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?
Right where ya left him

106. What do you get when you cross a pirate’s parrot and a shark?
A bird that talks your ear off!

107. Why do people find it very hard to call a pirate?
Because he always leaves his phone off the hook

108. Which baseball team did the pirate play for?
The Pittsburgh Pirates

109. Why are pirates great singers?
They can hit the high Cs!

110. How did one pirate greet another pirate?

111. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of fish?

112. What would you call a pirate with four eyes?
An iiiirate

113. Why did the caged pirate dress up as a lawyer?
To pass through the barrrrs!

114. What did the pirate’s first mate send down the stream?
The Captain’s log

115. What’s a pirate’s worst enemy?

116. What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea?
He got marooned.

117. What do pirates eat on cold winter nights?
Hearrrrrty stews

118. What do you call a pirate with two arms and two legs?
A not-a-pirate!

119. Why is pirating so addictive?
They say, “Once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked.”

120. Which Pokemon could also be a pirate?

121. Why can’t you take a picture of a pirate with a wooden leg?
Because a wooden leg doesn’t take pictures!

122. On Halloween, where did all the pirates park their ships?
In the harrrrrbor!

123. Which instrument do pirates love?
The guitaaarrrrr.

124. What was the pirate’s parrot’s favorite game?
Hide and speak

125. Why did the pirate cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop

126. Why did the pirate move to Russia?
To become a Czaaarrrrr

127. What is a pirate’s favorite color?

128. Why do pirates love Thanksgiving?
They get to carrrrrve the turkey.

129. What is a pirate’s hairstyle called?
A crew cut!

130. How does a pirate get to the top of the building?
He takes the elevataaarrrrr!

131. What type of apple do pirates always look for?

132. What does the captain keep up his sleeve?
His armie

133. What do you say when a pirate steals during a storm?
Plunder and Lightning

Pirate Jokes For Kids_illustration

Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Can pirate jokes for children be educational as well as entertaining?

Pirate jokes include many nautical terms, grammatical pointers, wordplay, punchlines, measures, facts, historical recollections of events or people, geographic references, and riddles or puzzles. These aspects make them useful for teaching children various necessary educational concepts and skills.

2. How can parents and caregivers ensure that pirate jokes for children are age-appropriate?

Parents can preview the source of the jokes, the message within it, the words used, the maturity level of the child to understand the joke, and the tonality when looking for pirate jokes that are age-appropriate. The joke has to be lighthearted and playful for children.

3. How can pirate jokes help children develop their sense of humor?

Pirate jokes can expose children to comic elements like wordplay, puns, and surprising twists. By engaging with these humorous elements, kids can unlock their creativity, embrace the joy of playful experiences, and nurture their distinct sense of humor.

4. What are some tips for using pirate jokes to engage children?

Choose age-appropriate jokes that are easy to understand. Incorporate entertaining storytelling methods and encourage children to share their jokes. Emphasize word plays and puns and use visual aids, such as puppets and props, to engage children with pirate jokes.

5. How can parents use pirate jokes to teach their children about history and language?

Pirate jokes offer a fun and engaging way to enhance a child’s vocabulary and language skills. These jokes involve wordplay, puns, and clever twists, allowing children to explore language nuances entertainingly. During joke-sharing sessions, you can delve into discussions about famous pirates and their adventures, which will help introduce children to the history of the pirate world. In addition, incorporating pirate vocabulary and historical references can help foster an appreciation for history and language.

If your child has developed a recent liking for pirates, and is fixated with everything pirate-themed and speaks in pirate language, then these funny and interesting pirate jokes for kids will leave them in splits! They can use these pirate phrases and puns when making greetings cards for friends who have an affinity toward pirates or at the next Halloween party or family gathering. Your child could also crack these jokes while playing dress-up in a pirate costume at their next talent show event. So, share these jokes with your child and watch them laugh till their belly aches!

Infographic: Pirate Jokes For Kids

Whether your child is dressed as a pirate or likes pirates, this infographic lists some funny pirate jokes to share. We are sure your child and their friends will have their day even more booty-full! Check them out for a great time ahead.

share hilarious pirate jokes with your child (infographic)

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

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Some children are fascinated by pirates and everything related to them. Laugh out loud with the funniest pirate jokes ever! Join us for a hilarious collection of the greatest pirate jokes ever told!

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