Teenage — it is the time when children experience a glimpse of adulthood and the perks and freedom that come along with it. During this stage, some children tend to develop an attitude towards elders, perhaps due to hormones or the influence of people around them.
As the child enters teenage, you will find a shift in their attitude. Your normally well-behaved child might now want to do things their way. They would want to hide things from you and expect you not to say ‘no’ or intervene in their life. Also, earlier, you were the person they approached when in despair and danger, but now, their friends have become their trusted advisers, and they start to spend more time with them.
Trying to deal with your child’s teenage problems can be overwhelming. But we hope this post helps you deal with your child’s teenage attitude problems effectively and without sounding or looking imposing.
Why Do Parents Face Problems With Teenagers?
When parents treat teenagers as kids and kids look at themselves as adults, it can lead to friction. For a teenager, everything is different and new. Your teenager now has emotions and feelings that they never experienced before. They are constantly trying to experiment with their new-found independence.
As for parents, they would want their precious babies to be with them and listen to them forever. They do not want to let go of their bond with them. Sometimes, they might become overprotective, which can lead them to go overboard and try to run their children’s lives.
This struggle for freedom and authority between parents and teenagers can lead to teenage attitude problems. Although in some extreme cases, a teenager’s behavior can go out of hand, and they might start to indulge in negative behavior, most teenage attitude problems are short-lived. They can be dealt with compassion, love, and patience.
Ways To Deal With Teenage Attitude Problems
The communication gap is one of the root causes of all the problems between teenagers and parents. Using the right approach can help parents deal with attitude problems in teenagers in a relatively mature way. Here are a few solutions to teenage attitude problems.
1. Give advice, but do not overdo it
This may sound harsh, but to your teenager, your advice may not matter at all times. Most teenagers face problems when their parents try and push things forcefully. You may be looking out for your children, but crossing boundaries can cause attitude problems.
- Learn to face rejections. As a parent, you may advise your child on something, but they might reject it outright and follow their own way.
- Do not be disappointed because they now have their preferences and likings. This behavior is perfectly normal.
- If you feel your teenager is going wrong, sit and communicate clearly.
2. Let them figure out their lives
You were once the only important part of your children’s lives. They were completely dependent on you for their food, clothing, activities, and even friends. Today, they want to take control of their own lives and steer it in a direction that they think is best for them.
- Yes, this can be a little difficult to accept initially. But even you grew into a responsible, independent individual years ago. Now it’s your teenager’s turn. Respect and accept this fact.
- Be frank and honest to both yourself and your teenager. Sit and talk things out.
3. Respect and welcome change
All this while, all that your child did was play around the house with you. Now, suddenly, they want to stay out for parties and hang out till late. You even see your teenager wanting to try their hand at drinking.
- While you must give them all the freedom, you must also set clear rules.
- Set a limit for late-night outings; tell them they can wait a little more before they start drinking (even after reaching the legal age for drinking).
- You, too, went through this phase in life. Let them enjoy their teenage years while you tell them the good from the bad.
4. Make your point, but do not force
This situation can feel a little overwhelming. You try hard to make your teenager see your point and stop them from doing something wrong. If you restrain them from doing something, they feel disrespected. They want to do things their way, which in your opinion, is not the right way.
- Accept the fact that your teenager’s opinion may differ from yours. What may be wrong for you might seem right for them.
- You two may have contrasting views about certain things. You may even have different personalities from each other. Instead of forcing your opinion onto them, try to listen and have meaningful conversations.
5. Wait, but do not ignore
As parents, you try to instill certain values in your child, and rightly so, since parents are a child’s first teachers. But if your teenager shrugs or rolls their eyes at you, it can offend you or make you angry.
- Do not get frustrated and start an argument with them, as this will make them even more stubborn.
- Put your point across, and tell them this kind of behavior will not be tolerated.
- Give them time to resolve their negative behavior, have patience, and wait. While you do so, do not ignore them or stop talking to them.
- Be the usual with them, but try to remind them how hurt you are because of their behavior.
6. Handle misbehavior calmly
You have lectured your teen several times not to answer back rudely, but still, nothing seems to change. You have to use a little bit of tact in this situation.
- Instead of lecturing them, let them know that you will not tolerate their misbehavior.
- Sometimes, children don’t mean to be rude, but they just get carried away. Once you let them know that you do not like it, they might stop repeating it.
- If they still misbehave, you may discuss the situation with your partner and take the necessary action.
- It is essential to maintain a calm demeanor and tone while handling tricky conversations despite the urge to shout or scold to get your point across.
7. Change your approach
If you find your teen often crossing a line, try to make them realize their mistake. However, don’t give them the regular punishments, such as grounding them or taking away their mobiles, as these will only make them rebel even more.
- Teach them valuable lessons through examples and indulge them in things that will distract them from bad behavior. How you behave and react is an invaluable way of teaching the same to your child.
- Make them help you with the household chores or involve them in a few projects.
8. Use humor
Things can heat up when you have a teenager with an attitude at home. But, anger will only cause more damage and create bitter feelings in your teen’s mind. So, restrain from getting angry unless it is the only option left.
- Any situation can be lightened when you inject some humor into it.
- Use humor to break a very intense argument. It will help you look at the problem from each other’s perspective.
- This will help you build trust, and they might actually listen to what you are saying.
- It might also help you both cool off. But be careful not to mock or ridicule, as it can backfire and make things even worse.
9. Show appreciation
Even adults need appreciation at regular intervals to boost morale. Appreciate them often; It will help build self-confidence and create a positive bond between you and your child. Words have the power to impact lives, so use them to teach some good values to your teenager.
- Whenever your child performs well in any task, appreciate them genuinely.
- This will let them know that you don’t constantly nag but appreciate their efforts.
- If your child achieves something, don’t just say, “congrats” and leave it at that. Enquire about how they came about achieving it and praise their effort.
- Do not overdo it, though, because that might again create friction.
10. Spend time with them
Your teenager might develop an attitude problem when subjected to neglect. If both of you are often busy with office work, it becomes even hard for your child to get access to you. As a result, they may turn to friends or others for advice and guidance.
- Spend quality time with your teenager, no matter how busy you are. Take out some time each day to enquire about their life.
- Be there for them during their football matches or science day fares.
- If you find them sad or disturbed, take them out for a walk and casually enquire.
- Make sure you spend time together as a family.
Teenage is a turbulent time, and if you understand this and prepare to be patient and discreet, your job is half done. Although dealing with teenagers may seem a bit overwhelming, don’t lose heart. The tips given above, coupled with your willingness to be patient and understanding, will help you deal with any problem. It’s important to remember that all children are different and your teenager might behave differently from other teenagers. Patience and compassion are the key. In time, everything will get sorted.
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