Should Brother And Sister Share Bedroom? 10 Tips To Follow

Image: Shutterstock


One would often find that brother and sister share a bedroom in smaller homes. Sharing bedrooms is a space adjustment idea and a great way to help siblings bond together. Many think it is not feasible for siblings of the opposite gender to live in the same bedroom. However, sharing a bedroom can be possible until a certain age. Moreover, this adjustment can often prove to be beneficial. Brothers and sisters who share their rooms also learn to share their things, respect each other’s privacy, and adjust to their differences. This post gives you some tips about creating a wonderful experience for brothers and sisters sharing their bedrooms.

Is It Okay For A Brother And Sister To Share A Bedroom?

There should be rules if brother and sister share a bedroom

Image: iStock

It is okay for siblings of opposite genders to share a bedroom. A brother and sister may have different interests, and so there will be fewer chances of fights between them over sharing stuff. Living together can strengthen their bond and help them make beautiful memories together.

But for older children, especially those approaching puberty, you need to talk with them about understanding and respecting each other’s privacy. They will have to create boundaries specifying their respective private areas of the room.

As long as children know their boundaries and are comfortable sharing a room, there should be no problem going ahead with a room-sharing arrangement.

What Is The Ideal Age For A Brother And Sister To Start And Stop Sharing A Bedroom?

There is no age limit for sharing a room between brother and sister. However, they would like to have their own space when they are 10 or 12 years old.

The arrangement helps them get closer as siblings. However, siblings with a wide age gap could have frequent conflicts as their schedules of sleeping, studying, and other activities may differ. Also, the older sibling may need more privacy. Sometimes, an older sibling may not enjoy sharing a room with a younger one. In such cases, you may consider some additional arrangements, such as installing a separator in the room. For brothers and sisters with a less age gap, sharing a room might not be a hassle.

10 Ways To Ensure Siblings Share A Bedroom Successfully

Having siblings share a room can be a great idea and a practical solution to situations when space is a constraint. But it can get a little challenging when siblings do not get along. Here are some ways to help your children get comfortable sharing a bedroom.

1. Establish ground rules

Set some ground rules for both the children to follow. Ensure each of them has their personal space and enjoys the personal time. Ask them to respect each other’s space. This way, they will learn to share a space and work within set boundaries.

2. Create personal schedules

Each child may have specific timings to sleep, study, and play. Create a daily schedule for them. It is helpful when they share a toy or a computer device. They can take turns and play the game as per their schedule. It helps them learn the importance of time.

3. Facilitate for white noise

After you fix a sleeping time for your children, ensure that they are in bed by that time. If one child’s sleeping habits such as grinding teeth or snoring disturb the other, play soothing music or an audiobook to help them fall asleep.

4. Separate space for storing personal belongings

Make separate storage spaces for siblings sharing a room

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To keep your children from fighting over personal belongings, make separate storage spaces. Each should have a different wardrobe that they need to clean and organize at least once a week. It will teach them to be responsible for their things.

5. Allocate separate space for some quiet time

Reserve a separate space or room for quiet activities such as studying, artwork, and meditation. Allow them to indulge in noisy activities such as playing games or learning musical instruments in the living room or any other common area.

6. Inculcate the sharing habit

Along with respecting each other’s privacy, children need to learn the importance of sharing. They should be kind to others and know to value the things they receive. Teach them to take care of things that do not belong to them.

7. Allow individual space decoration

Let them decorate their personal spaces

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When you have siblings of the opposite gender sharing the room, ensure the room décor is gender-neutral. However, they can decorate their personal spaces such as their bed, study area, and wall as per their choice. Give them space and scope to develop their creativity and promote their interests.

8. Talk with the older child

If the age gap between the siblings is quite a few years, talk to the older child about the arrangement. They might not be ready to share the room for privacy or because of the younger one’s disturbance. You need to explain how the room sharing arrangement is important for their growth and ask them to be a little more adjusting and accommodative of their younger sibling.

9. Make room adjustments

If your children tend to fight, place a room separator between their beds and let them have individual furniture, a computer, and a shelf. It can be a win-win arrangement.

10. Help resolve conflicts

Help the siblings resolve conflicts

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No matter how well-behaved and cooperative your children are, there will be instances of conflict. During such times, handle the situation patiently. Avoid taking sides and come up with an amicable solution. Ensure that they eventually go to bed peacefully without holding any resentment toward each other.

Sharing a bedroom is not only a space-saving idea but also a great way to promote strong bondings. In many houses, a brother and sister share a bedroom at a young age. However, as they reach puberty, most brothers and sisters seek privacy. In this case, sharing a bedroom becomes tricky. They should be able to respect each other’s privacy and differences to share their bedrooms. Also, you need to make some adjustments in the room so that both can create a comfortable personal space. So, if you want siblings to share a room, ensure you make some clear rules, give them separate storage, allow personal space decoration, and help resolve conflicts. Although children can start sharing their rooms at any age, it would be better to start early because older children may need more time to adjust to each other.

Infographic: Pros And Cons Of Siblings Sharing A Room

Siblings have a unique and special bond with each other. They may not share their belongings but will do anything to protect and support each other. So when they share a room, things can be both fun and challenging at times. It may bring them closer and understand each other better but may lead to conflicts too from the difference of opinions.

Check this infographic out to learn about the pros and cons of sibling-shared rooms and some creative decorating ideas to make the sharing easier.

when siblings share a room [infographic]
Illustration: MomJunction Design Team

Key Pointers

  • Sharing a bedroom with your sibling is okay when there is a space constraint at your home, provided you respect each other’s privacy.
  • While there is no age restriction, most people feel they need their own space after 12.
  • Implement certain mutual rules, have your separate schedules and storage spaces, maintain good communication with your siblings to enjoy the experience of staying together.

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Ratika Pai

Ratika has experience writing in various fields including finance, education, lifestyle, and entertainment. After her masters degree in Commerce, she acquired a PG Diploma in Communication and Journalism from Mumbai University. She is inquisitive about human relationships and likes to study people and how they manage their relationships, during her freetime. At MomJunction, Ratika writes insightful and informative articles on...
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Catherine Mok

Catherine Mok is a therapist at Austin Family Counseling. She specializes in working with children, adolescents, parents, individuals and families using a collaborative and client-centered approach tailored to the unique needs of each client. She uses a variety of therapeutic methods including Play Therapy, Sandtray Therapy, Attachment theory, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Family Systems Therapy, and Strength-based Therapy. She is also...
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