15 Reasons Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Him

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You met him again at a friend’s dinner party. He seemed like a guy you could fall in love with. You think about him at work, while cooking, and even when you are just plopped down on the couch, watching TV. He has become a constant presence in your thoughts, no matter how much you try not to think about him.

He may be your ex, your next-door neighbor, your co-worker, or a guy you just saw on the train back home. If he’s always on your mind and the thought “I can’t stop thinking about him” is worrying you, read on.

15 Reasons Why You Cannot Stop Thinking About Him

1. You are lonely

Whether you are single, in a relationship, or married, it is normal for you to think about your man when you feel lonely. If you are in a relationship, you might feel neglected by your partner. If you’ve just had a breakup, you may be experiencing the pain of separation and fall back to thinking about the good times you’ve had together.

One of the best ways to stop thinking about him is to distract yourself. Call your best friend and go shopping or take on your hobby or rekindle an old one. Just keep yourself occupied with something that you always loved to do. This could keep him off your mind.

2. Your chemistry is good

Are you alone to be blamed for the intense feelings you have for him? Or is there something else working? Your constant thinking about him could be the work of your hormones. When you fall in love or are infatuated, your brain sends signals to your glands to release the happy hormones – Adrenaline, Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Vasopressin.

These hormones make you feel ebullient and create a warm and fuzzy feeling within you (1). Interestingly, your body gets addicted to a warm and happy feeling. If thinking about him gives you the warm and fuzzies, you could be thinking about him more than you’d like.

3. You are in love

One smile could be enough to ignite a romantic relationship. Once you start discovering each other, you find common ground to fall in love with him. Love causes an intense attraction, and you may find it difficult to perform even daily tasks without getting lost in his thoughts. You may want to be with him almost all the time.

You may often daydream about him or smile to yourself thinking about his quirky ways. However, if the feeling is not mutual, you should try to get a grip over your emotions and avoid thinking too much about him.

4. He has impeccable manners

Who does not like chivalrous men? Women appreciate a man who opens the restaurant or car doors or pulls out a chair for them. Display of such gracious gestures and impeccable manners can be appealing.

If you don’t often see such mannered men in your circle, there is a chance that you’ll think more about the one who has gone out of his way to make you comfortable. You will think about his gentle ways and hope to be more in his company more.

5. He is popular

Is the man you’re addicted to influential or popular among his friends? Does everyone seek an opportunity to acquaint themselves with him? If yes, you could be merely attracted to his magnetic persona.

Such men have the innate capability to draw people towards them and be the center of attention at any party. A man with a charming personality looks no different from others. He may not be immaculately dressed but may drive you crazy even in a simple t-shirt and a pair of jeans!

You keep thinking about being in his social circle and may even want to become famous by association. Or it could be that you want to make your friends jealous by being acquainted with him or maybe even in a relationship with him.

6. His body language is suggestive

A man who is attracted to you sends signals through his body language. He may lean towards you, talk animatedly, or seek you out actively to discuss his thoughts. These are enough indicators to know that he might be attracted to you. This, in turn, increases your interest in him, and you start thinking about him more and more.

7. You have been through a breakup

Post-break-up is the time when you are most vulnerable. The hurt is immense if you have been together for several years and suddenly part ways for some reason. The pain could be even more if your ex happens to be your first love.

You will endlessly think about your ex and wonder why things didn’t work out. You may shut your doors to the outside world and relive the good times together in solitary confinement.

Rebound attraction is another issue most people may face after a breakup.

You find yourself at a loose end and immediately start looking for a replacement for your ex. If you find someone who you think might be perfect for you, you may end thinking about this new found love more than you’d want.

8. He exudes confidence

Confidence and poise in a man can be a huge turn-on for many. Women may find men with confidence and the ability to stand up for themselves attractive. However, there is a thin line between confidence and arrogance, which can be a turn off for women.

A man’s confidence reflects in his walk, smile, eye contact, handshake, and talk. A confident man thinks before he talks, but he puts across his thoughts in a precise manner, and you might find such men very attractive and think about them often.

9. You suppress thoughts about him

What would you do if someone asked you to stop eating fries? You will start craving for them, won’t you?

Suppression works similarly. If you are told not to think about your man, you will start thinking about him more.

Some people suggest suppression techniques help you forget your ex. However, suppression may not work effectively, and may even backfire, making you think more about him than you did before.

10. He manipulates you

A man might be manipulating your thoughts, something that you may not be aware of. If he wants to get closer to you, he may indulge in certain activities that you like. A master manipulator learns about your weak points and then exploits them.

If you love dogs, he may adopt a dog and invite you to play with it. If you love going on long drives, he may arrange trips and invite you. You get enamored by his gestures and get so involved with this man that you start thinking about him the whole day.

11. He is composed

The man of your thoughts is calm and composed and makes you feel at ease when you speak to him. If you were asked to choose between him and the others who fumble or get all nervous when they speak, you would prefer the man who is composed.

Anyone would want a partner who would make them feel comfortable and reduce their burden, not compound them. And if you meet a man like that, you may get attracted to and keep thinking about him. You would want to spend more time in his company.

12. His speech displays intelligence

Some men tend to speak less but radiate intelligence and positive energy. As they say, wise men speak less but keep their ears open. Their intelligence shines through the few words they speak. It is difficult for women to resist an intelligent man’s charms, even if he does not want to charm anyone on purpose. You might find yourself thinking about him unendingly if you come across such a man.

13. You check him out on social media

Social media is both a blessing and a bane. It keeps you connected with friends and like-minded individuals. If you are in a relationship, you would want to check out more about him through social media.

Concurrently, if you have broken up recently, social media could be a bane. You may inadvertently find yourself looking at your ex’s pages and trying to figure out what he is doing. Either way, you end up thinking about him.

14. You need closure

If you recently broke up, the hurt would still be raw, and yet you want closure. You might want to forgive him for causing the breakup or seek answers about why the relationship didn’t work. Whatever could be the reason, you may end up thinking about him and all that he has done to figure out what went wrong.

This can be a good way to experience any emotions and find a way to heal yourself before moving on. To get over him completely, you may have to think about him and why you broke up with him.

15. He is an enigma

Is your man mysterious? If you have met this man many times and yet cannot decipher him or his thoughts, he may get to you. You get mixed vibes from him, and you would like to get to know him better for some clarity. The more curious you get, the more you may end up thinking about him.

Things To Do When You Cannot Stop Thinking About Him

When you continuously think about him and realize that it is not healthy, it is the first step towards self-improvement. Here are the next steps that will get him out of your thoughts.

  • Create new memories: Meet new people, visit new places, try new things, and learn new skills. Do things that only you like, and not what you did as a couple. As you meet new people, you may develop a new perspective and think more about other things and less about him.
  • Indulge in self-care: Me-time is an important part of self-care. Take out some time for yourself daily. Indulge and pamper yourself. Get a spa treatment done. Get a new haircut. You deserve some TLC.
  • Don’t suppress your thoughts: Forcing yourself to stop thinking about him will not help. It could end up paving the way for a barrage of thoughts involving him. Instead, try to redirect your thoughts to something else slowly, and eventually, you will stop thinking about him and start to focus on positive thoughts
  • Forgiveness: If he has caused the breakup, forgive him. Forgiveness is difficult but important. If you do not forgive him, you will move on to the next man with a lot of emotional baggage that is difficult to handle. Forgiveness helps release him from your thoughts and can be the best thing you can do for yourself.
  • Focus on your negative aspects and improve them: No one is perfect, not even you. If you feel there are some aspects to your personality that drag you away from leading a fulfilled life, focus on them, and try to improve. This way, you will be doing yourself and the people close to you a favor.

Thinking about a guy is not wrong, but when it starts to dominate all other thoughts and distracts you from the important aspects of your life, it becomes a problem. Do not worry too much. Just try to get over these hurdles and live life to the fullest. You must be your priority, and no one should be allowed to take over your thoughts and your life.

References:

1. Love and the Brain; Harvard Mahoney Neuroscience Institute