FYI: Your Comments About My Pregnant Body Are Really Hurtful

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What I’m about to say to you might seem like a rant, but it’s something that every pregnant woman goes through. It happened to me, and I want to speak up about it because it’s high time that we put an end to the nonsense. It’s harsh, cruel, and highly insensitive! So, STOP! Are you wondering what I’m rambling on about? Well, if you’re open to hearing things like it is and maybe changing some patterns you’ve been following, you’ve come to the right place. I’m a 35-year-old pregnant woman, and I’m here to tell you why you should not be commenting on my pregnant body — it’s really impolite, and that sh*t hurts!

I was enjoying my evening hot chocolate with my favorite book when the doorbell rang. It was my neighbor handing over some letters that the mailman had accidentally dropped off in his mailbox. He has lived across from my house for about three years now, but we’ve barely spoken. When we’ve bumped into each other, we’ve exchanged pleasantries, and that has been the limit to our interaction. I opened the door and greeted him with a smile. He saw that I was pregnant and commented almost instantly.

“Oh! You’re pregnant! How far along are you?”

“Five and half months”, I answered, with a smile on my face.

“That’s all?” he asked, looking surprised.

“Um, sorry?”

“Well, you’re not exactly small now, aren’t you?” he said, with a smirk on his (stupid) face.

I took the letters, thanked him, shut the door, and burst into tears.

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It’s bizarre how people (even strangers) think it’s okay to comment on your body when you’re pregnant. The moment you announce your pregnancy, everyone around you gets the impression that your body is open for comments. But that’s far beyond the truth! Since when has it become normal to comment on someone’s body? If anything, it makes us furious when you comment on our bodies, touch our bellies without our permission and bombard us with unsolicited advice.

Do you know what’s worse? The fact that we have to be polite, smile, and accept all the ridiculous remarks they make, no matter how insensitive and insulting they are. Pregnant women are already in a vulnerable state. Our bodies are surging with hormones, and we are more sensitive than normal. We undergo severe body image issues owing to such drastic changes. During a time like this, do you really want to be making us feel worse? Or are you not aware of how your hurtful comments can impact us?

During pregnancy, our relationship with our bodies is already delicate. We have trouble looking at ourselves and feeling beautiful because we are very aware of the changes. We know we are bigger. We feel unattractive and bloated. Plus, we are in pain all the time because our breasts are sore, our feet are swollen, our backs are weak, and bellies are stretched out. We are riddled with insecurities about our bodies. Add to this the regular morning sickness and dizziness.During this time, why would you feed into them?

Pregnancy Is No Easy Feat

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When you are pregnant, you really do have your work cut out for you. Those nine months are daunting. They don’t get easy with time, and it’s already hard enough. Yes, it’s incredible. Pregnancy is a magical time, no doubt. But it can also be scary. The hormones, the aches and pains, the changes, and the mood swings only make things worse. Besides, the issues you face in those nine months are only the tip of the iceberg. They only get harder once the baby is born. And most women are prepared for it, sure, but we are also terrified!

During pregnancy, your physical symptoms are tough to bear, no doubt. But there’s also your mental health that takes a toll. That, coupled with insensitive comments from creepy strangers and acquaintances, only makes your rollercoaster taxing. Besides, pregnant women already deal with their bodies being examined by several people. Doctors, midwives, relatives, parents, friends, and every other person walking by you.

The situation is worse when a pregnant woman is going through some sort of severe complications or when she has had miscarriages in the past. She is probably still struggling with all the trauma from the past and the last thing she would want is to constantly explain herself about the status of her body, especially with someone she doesn’t really confide in.

We don’t need another reminder that we are pregnant. We are reminded by our bodies every minute of every day. What’s worse is that we are expected to be “grateful” for their inquisitiveness. WHY WOULD WE? It makes us uncomfortable and exposed.

Why Is This Acceptable?

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What boggles my mind is how normalized these comments are in society! Why is it okay for someone to comment on my body just because I’m pregnant? I’ve heard several times that people are doing it out of concern or don’t mean to offend me. Well, guess what? I’m offended! out. And in certain situations, you might also end up even asking someone about being pregnant when actually they are not. Don’t you see how rude that can be. People may gain unwanted body weight and already be worried about. Someone pointing it out without even caring about the person’s emotions is outright rude and can never be acceptable.

So, maybe next time, be more aware of what you say to a pregnant woman (or anyone, really). And if you find that difficult, then just don’t say anything. Someone wise once said that if you have nothing kind to say, don’t say anything, and I agree. Even if you think you mean something like a “compliment”, you probably shouldn’t say it if you think you’ll have to explain the compliment. Get it? Good! Now, go mind your own business and leave us pregnant folks alone! Have you faced situations like this where people passed unsolicited comments that really bothered you? Do share with us your personal experiences in the comments section below.

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