A parent is responsible for their child’s upbringing — how they nurture them plays a huge role in the kind of adult the kid becomes. Although parents try hard to do their best for their children, there may be instances where mistakes happen. Unfortunately, these mistakes can have repercussions in the long run. If these mistakes are not rectified, they will turn into habits that can have a lasting effect on your child.
Being aware of these common mistakes is important for parents so as to be able to avoid them. We’ve listed seven parenting mistakes that need to be avoided, as no good will come out of them. Read on to find out what these mistakes are and if you have been guilty of them at any point:
1. Setting Up High Expectations
We understand that you want your child to reach great heights and do the best they can in all they do. However, many times parents set expectations that are sky-high and unrealistic. If you are guilty of doing this, you should know that you might be putting a lot of pressure on your little one. Children love it when their parents are proud of them — and when you are disappointed with them, they take this to heart. When children are unable to match up to your expectations and witness your disappointment, they can fall under a lot of distress (1).
2. Comparing Them With Other Kids
Many parents are guilty of comparing their children with other kids their age. The comparison could be about their academic performance or their ability to engage in certain extracurricular activities. These parents fail to understand that every child is unique, and they all have something special to offer. It is a bad idea to compare your child with another, even if the comparison is being made between a sibling. When a child is constantly compared and told that they are not good enough, they will develop issues with self-esteem and suffer from feelings of insecurity and low confidence (2).
3. Breaking Your Promises
Promises are made for a reason — children believe that you will stand by your word when you make a promise. When you break the promises that you have made, your child will fail to trust you in the long run. Also, your child may end up following in your footsteps and refrain from keeping the promises they made in their own turn.
4. Putting Up With Inappropriate Behavior
Children can get troublesome and unreasonable at times. As parents or caretakers, we must guide them down the right path. When you put up with any inappropriate behavior from their end, they will begin to believe that it is okay to misbehave. Instead, correct your child when they have done something wrong, so they know that certain actions should not be repeated. This will also encourage them to become mindful and sensitive adults in the future. When you refuse to put up with your child’s inappropriate behavior, they will also learn that good and bad actions can have consequences .
5. Not Giving Them Your Time
Shuffling between a job and home can take up most of your time every day. Understandably, you have a lot of your hands, and finding time to spend with your child can be challenging. Often, parents try to make up for the lost time by giving their children money or buying whatever they ask. However, nothing can compare to some quality time with your child, no matter what you do. Research shows that children of absent parents often suffer from mental health problems. Children enjoy the company of their parents and look forward to the time they spend doing fun things together or even nothing at all. So, take some time off and give your kids the quality time they deserve.
6. Refusing To Apologize When You Should
We all make mistakes — even the best of us! Parents often tend to feel that they don’t need to apologize to their children when they have messed up because they are the authority figure. But the truth is that you should take accountability for your actions. Since to err is human, don’t be ashamed or embarrassed to apologize when you’ve done wrong. By taking responsibility for your mistakes, you will lead by example and show your child the right thing. On the other hand, if you don’t apologize, your child will also learn the same.
7. Not Validating Their Opinions And Thoughts
Your child is an individual on their own terms — with their own thoughts and opinions. On some days, they will agree with you, and on other days, they might disagree with you. When they have opinions and thoughts of their own different from yours, don’t shun or belittle them. Let them know that their thoughts and opinions matter as well. If you refuse to validate what they think or say, they will grow up to be timid and refrain from voicing out their opinions in the long run.
8. Discouraging Them From Asking Questions
For adults as well as children, an important part of learning is through asking questions. This is more important for kids as they have to learn so much about the world around them. However, sometimes parents can find it hard to answer all the queries of their little ones and resort to discouraging them from asking questions at all. This can have bad repercussions in the long run. Your kid would stay mum even when they don’t understand a concept and lose the opportunity to learn something new. It can also foster shyness and lack of social skills when they grow up. So, no matter how much they bug you with their innocent queries try to be patient and encourage them to ask more.
There is no denying that being a parent is a challenging role to play — each day brings its own set of challenges that require you to give your best. It helps to refrain from the parental mistakes we’ve listed above so that you can take your parenting skills up by a notch! Do you have anything more to add? Let us know in the comments below!
- Parenting Knowledge Attitudes and Practices
- Parents’ Social Comparisons of Siblings and Youth Problem Behavior: A Moderated Mediation Model