151 Best Dad Jokes Of All Time

151 Best Dad Jokes Of All Time

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Dad jokes may have a different kind of humor, but it doesn’t matter as the intention is to make our fathers laugh. With funny dad jokes to share, we can create beautiful and hilarious memories and share fun times with our dads. These jokes may not sound intelligent but will make them smile.

We have come up with a collection of the greatest dad jokes of all times that make a wonderful share with your dad. Check them out, and you can share them with your friends and family too.

151 Greatest Dad Jokes Of All Time

Here is the compilation of best dad jokes to share.

Corny Dad Jokes

These corny dad jokes are just what you need to share with your father and make him laugh.

1. Name the thing that has a head, foot, and four legs. A bed

2. What are two octopuses that look the same called? Itenticle

3. Never write with a broken pencil because it is pointless.

4. What is the way to weigh millennials? Instagram.

5. The wedding arrangements were amazing. The cake was also in tiers.

6. Which state in the USA is known for small soft drinks? Minnesota.

7. Name the patriotic sport? Flag football.

8. I am so amazing at sleeping that I can do it with closed eyes.

9. Why is it that the bicycle could not stand up by itself? Because it is two-tired.

10. When a child denies taking a nap, will he be held guilty of resisting rest?

11. I know lots of jokes about retired people, but apparently, none of them work.

12. Why do dads tell such bad jokes? Because they want you to groan up.

13. I wish corona started in Las Vegas as what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

14. Spiders are so smart that they can look for anything on the web.

15. The stadium got hot after the game as the fans had left.

16. To make hens meet, I was running a dating service for the chickens.

17. Within no time, the detectives found out the murder weapon. It was a briefcase.

18. Why do dads carry an extra pair of socks while playing golf? Because in case they get a hole in one.

19. Working at the sole-recycling shop was sole destroying.

20. I will find the one who stole my copy of Microsoft Office. You have my Word.

21. My boss asked to have a good day. So I went home.

22. I had plans to go on an all-almond, but they are just nuts.

23. If you have seen a robbery taking place at an Apple Store, you will be an iWitness.

24. When I fell in love while doing a backflip, I was heels over head.

25. My girlfriend asked me to stop acting like a flamingo. I had to put down my foot.

26. Timex and Rolex are the names of my watch dogs.

27. Seven out of six people agree that they are pathetic at fractions.

28. Have you heard about the Italian chef who just died? He pasta way.

29. Difference between denominator and numerator is a short line.

30. I was complimented for my parking. Someone left a note saying ‘parking fine.’

31. I was charged nine dollars extra at a hotel for the air conditioner. It was seriously uncool.

32. It is wrong when people say that age is just a number. It is a word.

33. I asked my date to see me at the gym, but she did not arrive. It looks like the two of us are not going to work out.

34. My doctor just told me that I am slowly going deaf. It was hard for me to hear that.

35. If an English tutor convicted of a crime does not complete the sentence, is it called a fragment?

36. While playing chess with my friend, we thought of making it interesting. We stopped playing it.

37. What is the favorite food of the scholars? Academia nuts.

38. When does a joke transform into a dad joke? It is when it finally becomes apparent.

39. I got attacked with a Diet Coke can in the head, but it did not hurt as it was a soft drink.

40. Raisin had to go out with the prune because he could not find a prune.

41. Rotation of the earth makes my day.

42. My children told me that they wish to invent a pencil with erasers on both sides. I don’t see the point.

43. Why do pumpkins always sit on the porch? As they don’t have hands to knock.

44. When you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

45. My friend wishes to become an archaeologist. I am worried his life will be in ruins.

46. Which word ends with ‘nions’ and starts with ‘O’ and can make you cry sometimes? Opinion.

47. My friend birthed her baby in her car, and so her husband named the child Carson.

48. What do you call someone with no nose and nobody? Nobody knows.

Short Jokes For Dad

If you wish to share a short text with your dad, share these fantastic short jokes that are high on humor.

49. Sore throats are big pain in the neck.

50. I never get a haircut. I got them cut all.

51. What do we call an unpredictable camera? A loose Canon.

52. Name the thing a house wears. Address.

53. How to steal a coat? You jacket.

54. What made the scarecrow win the award? It was out standing in the field.

55. Crabs are not into charity as they are shellfish.

56. Who lays deviled eggs? Evil chicken.

57. Why are cows seen wearing bells? Because the horns don’t work.

58. What is a fish with no eye called? A fsh.

59. I am all set to spread the rumor about butter.

60. A lazy kangaroo is called a pouch potato.

61. The right way to watch fly-fishing tournaments is a live stream.

62. What is a fibbing cat called? A lion.

63. Sushi is a little fishy.

64. I will call you later. No, call me dad.

65. Wonkey is a donkey with three legs.

66. I do not play soccer. I play it for kicks.

67. A sad cup of coffee is called depresso.

68. What will you call a guy with rubber toes? Roberto.

69. I dropped my pillow on the floor, and it seems to have a concushion.

70. Saturday and Sunday are the strongest days, as others are weekdays.

71. Math books are always so sad because they have many problems.

72. Trees look suspicious on sunny days as they seem shady.

73. I don’t appreciate morning funerals as I am not a mourning person.

74. I am collecting all the vintage albums by the Beatles. I need HELP.

75. When a hen counts her eggs, she is called a mathemachicken.

76. Impasta is a fake noodle.

77. The ATM got addicted to money, and it then suffered from withdrawals.

78. What rhyme with stinks and boos? You.

79. A hippie’s wife is called Mississippi.

80. While looking for a lighter on Amazon, I could find 401 matches.

81. Name the least spoken language in the world. It is sign language.

82. Why was Taylor Swift not attacked by the vampire? Because she had bad blood.

83. Why do bees have such sticky hair? They use honeycomb.

84. How to make holy water? Boil the hell out of it.

85. People say that they pick their noses. I am born with mine.

86. Diddly squats are the exercises for lazy people.

87. Why do some couples visit the gym? They want their relationship to work out.

88. Never trust stairs as they are always up to something.

89. I had to sell my vacuum cleaner as it was just busy gathering dust.

90. Terminator will be called Exterminator post-retirement.

91. What is the sound made by a witch’s car? It is broom-broom!

92. Nurses are fond of red crayons as they sometimes use them to draw blood.

93. I was supposed to get six Sprite cans, but I had picked 7 Up.

94. Which ocean is the most detailed-oriented? The Pacific Ocean.

One-Liner Dad Jokes

We bring to you the best one-liner dad jokes that can be sent as messages to your dad to gift him a surprise laugh.

95. Never iron the four-leaf clover as you cannot press your luck.

96. I ordered an egg and chicken from Amazon. Just to check which one comes first.

97. When my wife called me immature, I asked her to leave my fort.

98. I have spent a lot of money and time childproofing my house, but they always get in.

99. Mount Rushmore is one rock group with four men who don’t sing.

100. The restaurant on the moon offers good food but without atmosphere.

101. Do you know what is there in a bathroom in France? Everything is European.

102. The difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle is ATTIRE.

103. A new dating service is going to start in Prague, and it’s called Czech-Mate.

104. An old man fell in the well as he could not see that well.

105. Last night a cheese factory in France exploded, and there is Da brie everywhere.

106. An invisible man turned down the job offer as he could not see himself doing it.

107. Wish to hear a joke on construction? Well, I am still working on it.

108. Mark stole my dictionary. I just told him in anger, ‘Mark, my words!’

109. Moses doesn’t make his coffee, Hebrews it.

110. How to tell if it is a dogwood tree? Just by the bark.

111. Name the state with maximum streets. Rhode Island.

112. Name the polite European water body. Merci.

113. What are 26 letters that have gone for a swim called? Alphawetical.

114. What’s the reason that green color is notoriously single? Because it is jaded.

115. The reason why celebrities are cool is that they have many fans.

116. I never liked facial hair, but it grew on me.

117. Sundays are kind of sad, but the day before is a much sadder day.

118. Dogs cannot operate the MRI machines but did you know catscan.

119. What were the utensils doing stuck together? Spooning.

120. When you are singing while bathing and soap gets into your mouth, it becomes soap opera.

121. How many apples grow on trees? All of them.

122. The chiropractors like only one kind of music – hiphop.

123. The favorite hobby of a crafty dancer is cutting a rug.

124. Loafers are the shoes loved by lazy people.

125. The reason behind the insecurity of cold water is that it is never called hot.

Dad Jokes For Kids

With the right dad jokes for kids shared here, you don’t have to look anywhere else to find jokes that will take all the stress away.

126. What is the shoe made of banana called? A slipper.

127. Name the tallest building in the whole world. Library, as it has maximum stories.

128. Dogs float in water as they are good buoys.

129. What is a beehive without exit called? Unbelievable.

130. How does a penguin build the house? Igloos it together.

131. Why is it that skeletons never go treating or tricking? As they have nobody to go with.

132. Name a thing that is brown and sticky. It is a stick.

133. This graveyard is overcrowded. Looks like people are dying to get in there.

134. Can February march? No.

135. Name that thing that is orange but sounds like a parrot. Carrot.

136. Peter Pan is always flying because he Neverlands.

137. Why do vampires always look sick? They are coffins.

138. The favorite types of shoes of ninja are sneakers.

139. The coach was found shouting at the vending machine because he wanted his quarter back.

140. You need to have guts to donate organs.

141. Name the car sheep that likes driving. Lamborghini.

142. What did two bread slices say to each other on their wedding? Loaf at first sight!

143. I thought of telling a time-travel joke, but you people didn’t like it.

144. There is no point in looking for a perfect match, instead, use a lighter.

145. An accountant said that auditing the document is taxing.

146. Name the two twin daughters of a drummer. Anna One and Anna Two

147. Why is the roof of the mouth not called ceiling? Space bar

148. When I told my doctor, I could hear a buzzing sound. I was told that there was a bug moving around.

149. What is a toothless bear called? A gummy bear.

150. I lost my bank job on the first day. One person asked me to check his balance, and I pushed him.

151. What is common between the Eiffel Tower and a tick? They both are Paris sites.

Share these dad jokes with your father on Father’s Day or any other special occasion and make him laugh. These jokes are a perfect way to surprise him with something funny that he will enjoy thoroughly.