Dating after a breakup can be draining, especially when you have not completely moved on from the previous relationship. People often make the mistake of going for a rebound to distract themselves from the pain caused by the breakup and end up hurting themselves. Dating someone before healing from the bitterness of the past relationship will only make things complicated. So don’t jump into a relationship just because you are lonely. Take your time, work on yourself, and wait for the right time and person to get back to dating again.
How Long Should You Wait To Date After A Breakup?
The answer to this question is subjective, as each person processes the breakup differently. It also depends on many factors, such as the duration of the relationship, the kind of bond the couple shared, and so on.
After a breakup, your mind may feel clouded with mixed emotions as your self-confidence takes a hit. Some people can clear their minds in a few weeks while some brood over it for years.
If you have broken up with your partner, it is best to wait for at least a month before you start seeing someone else. In this time, allow yourself to heal and work on your mental and physical health. Try to understand what went wrong in the last relationship and resolve not to repeat the same mistake. Once you feel you have moved on and are ready with a fresh approach to relationships, get into the dating game.
Six Important Signs You Are Ready For Dating After A Breakup
Before you come to a decision, have a look at some of the signs indicating you have moved on and are ready to start dating.
1. You feel happy in your company
After a breakup, you are likely to be filled with self-doubt, which is a natural reaction after facing failure in a relationship. But if you want a relationship right after the last one just to feel loved again, then it will eventually disappoint you. Instead, when you fall in love with yourself and are not dependent on a relationship for your happiness, only then are you truly ready for a new relationship.
2. You feel excited to date again
A breakup can make you feel morose and averse to even the thought of dating. But when downloading a dating app appeals to you and you look forward to meeting someone new, it means you have moved on from your past and are ready to get back on the dating scene.
3. You no longer think about your ex
Hoping for your ex to come back to you or wanting to make contact with them are clear signs you are still hung upon them. But if your ex hardly crosses your mind and you are successful in focusing on yourself, it means you have moved on. And if you feel you have healed and are willing to put in time and energy into a new relationship, then you are ready to start dating again.
4. You have accepted your breakup and learned from it
You have truly healed from a broken relationship when you acknowledge it is finally over and have learned from it. When you note mistakes made in your last relationship and are willing to work on them, it means you have grown as a person. You may now be in a better position to tackle similar situations and conflicts that may arise in your new relationship.
5. You find someone attractive
Do you find someone attractive? If yes, then that is a positive sign that you can start a new relationship. However, if you compare your new partner with your ex, you have not truly gotten over your ex. But if you treat this relationship as a whole new experience and are willing to give it your best shot, it means you are ready to date again.
6. You feel confident in yourself
Lastly, the biggest indicator of being ready for a new relationship is self-confidence. When you know your self-worth and are not willing to simply settle for what comes your way, it means you are confident in being you. Knowing what you want and what you can give to a relationship is also a sign of confidence and that you are ready to get into the dating game once again.
Five Tips For Dating After A Breakup
Once you are sure that you are open to dating again after a breakup, keep the following tips in mind before getting into a new relationship.
1. Don’t make a haste
People may advise you that a new relationship will help you get over your old broken relationship. This idea may help for a while, but a rebound relationship is not considered an ideal way to get over a breakup. Instead, date yourself for a while. Understand what you want from your life and how a relationship can help you lead your best life.
2. Know what you want in a partner
No matter how your last relationship ended, the fact is that it wasn’t meant for you. That relationship must have taught you priceless life lessons. So, when you re-enter the dating world, remember to carry those lessons with you and be sure of what you want in a partner and what is non-negotiable. Do not compromise on things that can later create problems for you.
3. Don’t mention your ex on your first date
If you like your date and wish to see them again, then refrain from talking about your ex on your first date. Your ex may have treated you badly, and you may want to bad-mouth them, which is fine to do with your friends but not on a date. Bad mouthing your ex or even mentioning them in passing will annoy your date and create a bad impression about you.
4. Have a realistic approach
When you start looking for a potential partner, be prepared to face disappointments because finding the right partner takes time. Do not expect to have potential partners come chasing after you because your date went well. If you are interested in them, then do not hesitate to be clear about it and even follow up when required.
5. Be yourself
Some scars from the past may tempt you to hide your real self from appearing more appealing to your potential partner. But if you want to find your best match, you have to be nothing but your true self or else you will end up with someone not suitable for you. Don’t fear rejection. Instead, hope to find the right person for yourself. You may also use this phase to take stock of yourself and know yourself better. You might have a few sessions with a therapist to talk it through and gain even further perspective.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Is it healthy to date after a breakup?
You may date after a breakup if you have ensured that you have successfully overcome the negatives of your past relationship. You should ask yourself about your feelings regarding your ex and when you are almost over them (if not 100%), you may safely get back to the dating scene.
2. Is it OK to date casually after a breakup?
You can opt for casual dating if you do not want a new relationship after a breakup and wish to move away for some time. However, it is better to let the initial pain and bitterness of a breakup reduce before you engage in something else and end up hurting yourself in the process.
Moving on and dating after a breakup may seem difficult initially. But, it is not as hard as you may think. If you notice these signs indicating you are ready to date, do not deprive yourself of the love you deserve. Take time to heal internally; your heart will signal when you’re ready to take the plunge. However, do not rush into a relationship without knowing the person enough. Be wise and find someone you can trust.
Infographic: How To Know If You Need Some More Time Before Dating?
After a breakup, you may experience emotional distress and confusion, leading you to make hasty decisions. If you plan on starting a new relationship soon after your breakup, you may not be ready. Reading through this infographic can help you understand if you are ready for the dating scene.
- If you are confused regarding dating after a breakup, take time and think well before committing.
- However, if you feel confident and have moved on, you could be ready for a new relationship.
- Make sure you comprehend your requirements in a partner and be honest and clear before going on a date.
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Sharon Gilchrest O’Neill(Ed.S., LMFT)
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