21 Golden Tips For Dating A Shy Guy

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If you can accept and deal with their sensitive and compassionate personality, dating a shy guy can be a wonderful experience. Shy guys may be cool and empathetic, so your efforts are sure to be rewarded. In fact, he may be relieved and grateful as he doesn’t have to make the first move with you!

Their sensitive and sympathetic nature makes them wonderful companions, but it also requires you to be cautious to prevent inadvertently harming them. Once you develop a level of trust and he starts opening up to you, make sure to nurture that bond lovingly. Keep reading this post for some helpful dating advice when you have a shy man in your life.

21 Tips For Dating A Shy Guy

Shy guys can seem unapproachable, so you will have to put in more effort than usual to be with them. Have a look at these tips to make your dating experience smooth and fulfilling.

1. Show clear interest

A shy guy needs a clear indication that you are interested in him. Try smiling at him whenever you see him and greet him with a casual ‘hi’ whenever he is around you. Hold eye contact for just a bit longer when you see him across the room. Your interest can encourage him to approach you or at least be comfortable when you initiate a conversation.

2. Make the first move

Talking to a girl can be nerve-wracking for some guys, so why not take the initiative and approach him directly. Approach him when he is alone, and your friends do not surround you. This takes the pressure off him and doesn’t intimidate him. Introduce yourself and allow the conversation to take its course.

3. Ask him questions

When talking to a shy guy, there could be moments of awkward silence. To avoid such instances, you can ask him questions, so he gets a chance to elaborate and speak. At first, ask him general questions to know his views and opinions about specific topics. And once you both get comfortable, move on to questions related to his personal life.

4. Find out common interests

Find out his topics of interest

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Try to find out his topics of interest either by asking him casually, checking his social media or talking to his friends. This way, you will have an ice-breaker and know more topics of conversation that you can engage in.

5. Take an interest in his passion

If you cannot find any common interest, try to learn about his interests. For instance, if he likes watching football, you can go with him to a game or two. You do not have to force yourself to like it, but you can give him company whenever the need arises. A shy guy is likely to be more relaxed when he is doing something he enjoys.

6. Figure out his preferred mode of communication

Some shy guys may feel awkward talking to a girl face-to-face but are more open to chatting or texting because it gives them the space to arrange their thoughts and feelings. Similarly, some guys find typing troublesome and prefer interacting in person. Try to find out what your guy likes and stick to that mode while limiting interaction in the other method.

7. Avoid blabbering

Your excitement of talking to this guy and his inability to keep the conversation going can make you blabber to kill moments of awkward silence. His silence can be unnerving, but you need to have some patience and allow the guy to think of something to talk to you about. Get comfortable with silences as they are perfectly normal in relationships. It may feel weird to sit quietly but bear with it to see if he is interested in talking to you.

8. Be open about your feelings

be open about your feelings when dating a shy guy

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A shy guy may not pick subtle hints and may not even understand your interest in him. If you want to take things forward, you may have to be bold and clear about your intentions. You have to show him that you intend to take your friendship to another level.

9. Don’t expect an elaborate romantic proposal

It is not that shy guys are not romantic. They are, but their idea of romance differs from what you see in movies. He will not reveal his feelings for you in front of a crowd. The shy guy would always pick privacy over public gestures.

10. Appreciate his little gestures

A shy guy may not book a fancy yacht to give you a surprise but will remember to buy your favorite icecream when he knows you are feeling low. He will wait in a long queue to get you tickets to your favorite concert and will not mind driving over miles to drop you home safely. He may not be expressive, but he has his ways of showing love.

11. Don’t be disappointed by his idea of a date

Dating a shy guy

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Do not feel disappointed when he suggests watching a movie at his house with some pizza instead of taking you for a romantic date in a fancy uptown restaurant. Do not make wrong assumptions. In reality, he may feel overwhelmed in crowded spaces and may prefer spending time alone with you.

12. Don’t mistake his silence for aloofness

When talking to a shy guy, don’t lose sight that he is an introvert and can feel overwhelmed with continuous interaction. Don’t mistake his silence for disinterest. If he likes you, he will open up slowly. But don’t expect him to have hour-long conversations after one or two interactions.

13. Enjoy the silence with him

Learn to enjoy the brief periods of silence between him and you. Sometimes, even when he is with you, he might be lost in his thoughts. Instead of coaxing him to speak, try to be comfortable in the silence that prevails. Let him dwell in his thoughts while you enjoy being by his side. Silence is a shy person’s strength, it allows him to observe, sift through, and assimilate the new connection with you.

14. Understand he is a good listener

You rant against a mean friend and expect him to chime in with his words of support. But when he doesn’t, you feel hurt thinking he never listens to you. Your assumption might be wrong here. Shy guys are good listeners and can remember even the smallest of details that you mention to them.They pick up subtle cues and non-verbal expressions very well. The next time you mention that ‘mean friend,’ he will know what you are talking about.

15. Show interest in his life

To know him better, you can ask him about his family and childhood. Pay attention to him, so he knows how serious you are about him. Ask questions related to his personal life and prompt long and deep conversations.

16. Be ready to initiate intimacy

Be the one to initiate intimacy when dating a shy guy

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When dating a shy guy, there could be chances of slow progression in your relationship. If the slow pace frustrates you, take the lead. Bump hands when you walk alongside or open your arms to give him an affectionate hug when you meet him. Instead of waiting for your first kiss, give him a heads up by kissing him on his cheek a couple of times before he finally gets comfortable enough and initiates the first kiss.

17. Don’t point out his shy nature

Each time you compliment him, he might end up blushing like a tomato. You may feel tempted to point it out and laugh, but it might make him feel embarrassed. Avoid saying anything that could make him more self-conscious. Just overlook it and act like everything is normal.

18. Never share his private information

It takes a lot of effort and trust for a shy guy to confide in someone. And when he opens up to you, ensure that the information remains with you. If he ever learns that you shared his confidential information with someone else, he would not trust you again and might not even forgive you for it.

19. Give him his space

Shy guys often need to retract into their shells from time to time. During such a phase, try to understand him and give him time to himself. He may not text you for days, but once he feels rejuvenated after the brief gap, he will come back to you feeling refreshed and relaxed.

20. Never forget his sensitive nature

In a fit of rage, you might speak something hurtful and blame his shy nature for it. He may not have control over his socially anxious nature, so picking on him for it might hurt him beyond repair. Instead, speak to him when something is wrong and see how he tries his best to make things right for you.

21. Love him the way he is

Love him the way he is

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A shy guy can make an amazing romantic partner if you can accept him the way he is. Never try to change him because he is perfect the way he is. You need to see the good side of him and his love for you without overly expressing the same.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. How to make a shy guy comfortable?

You may try ideas such as asking him open-ended questions and encouraging him to answer each without any stress of being judged slowly. You may also make the first move to make him feel comfortable and important. Call him by name, ask for ideas, and be open to suggestions.

2. Is it hard to date a shy guy?

Dating a shy guy may be challenging for you if you are outgoing or extroverted, but just as any relationship has its share of ups and downs, so does dating a shy guy. Slowly approaching him and expressing your interest in the relationship can make him realize your admiration for him, which may help you reach the next level. Interestingly, shy guys sometimes express their interest subtly by sending messages, flowers, or tokens of appreciation.

3. Are shy guys sensitive?

Shy guys cherish their relationships and sign up for the long run. They mostly struggle to express their sentiments because they keep themselves bottled up without a way to let them out, making them emotional, sensitive, and caring towards their loved ones.

Dating a shy guy has its benefits. You need not worry about them coming on too strong or not being listened to since they tend to be quiet, calm, and patient. However, if your partner is shy, you may need to make the first move and open up to help them get comfortable. The key to dating a shy guy is understanding them and not rushing them into anything. Each relationship requires a certain amount of adjustment, and dating a shy guy may require some, especially if you are an extrovert. However, to ensure you have a happy relationship, remember that their way of expressing their feelings may be different.

Key Pointers

  • If you’re dating a shy guy, you have to be proactive, make the first move, ask questions, and appreciate his small gestures.
  • Shy guys are great listeners, so if you believe he’s not responding because he’s not paying attention, you’re likely incorrect.
  • You should also give him space rather than trying to change him. Accepting him for who he is might pave the path for a wonderful relationship.

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Ratika Pai

Ratika has experience writing in various fields including finance, education, lifestyle, and entertainment. After her masters degree in Commerce, she acquired a PG Diploma in Communication and Journalism from Mumbai University. She is inquisitive about human relationships and likes to study people and how they manage their relationships, during her freetime. At MomJunction, Ratika writes insightful and informative articles on... more

Sadhvi Nishtha Om

Monk Sadhvi Nishtha Om is a practicing psychologist and psychotherapist in India. She has worked with children, adolescents and adults using tools such as Therapeutic Meditation, Inner Child Healing, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Emotional Empowerment Technique (EET) in a career spanning more than a decade. She holds a Master’s degree in Clinical Psychology from the University of Delhi, India.... more