21 Golden Tips For Dating A Shy Guy

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If you can accept and deal with their sensitive and compassionate personality, dating a shy guy can be a wonderful experience. Shy guys may be cool and empathetic, so your efforts are sure to be rewarded.

Their sensitive and sympathetic nature makes them wonderful companions, but it also requires you to be cautious to prevent inadvertently harming them. Keep reading this post for some helpful dating advice when you have a shy man in your life.

21 Tips For Dating A Shy Guy

Shy guys can seem unapproachable, so you will have to put in more effort than usual to be with them. Have a look at these tips to make your dating experience smooth and fulfilling.

1. Show clear interest

A shy guy needs a clear indication that you are interested in him. Try smiling at him whenever you see him and greet him with a casual ‘hi’ whenever he is around you. Your interest can encourage him to approach you or at least be comfortable when you initiate a conversation.

2. Make the first move

Talking to a girl can be nerve-wracking for some guys, so why not take the initiative and approach him directly. Approach him when he is alone, and your friends do not surround you. Introduce yourself and allow the conversation to take its course.

3. Ask him questions

When talking to a shy guy, there could be moments of awkward silence. To avoid such instances, you can ask him questions, so he gets a chance to elaborate and speak. At first, ask him general questions to know his views and opinions about specific topics. And once you both get comfortable, move on to questions related to his personal life.

4. Find out common interests

Try to find out his topics of interest either by checking his social media or talking to his friends. This way, you will have an ice-breaker and know more topics that he will be interested in to avoid awkward silence.

5. Take an interest in his passion

If you cannot find any common interest, try to learn about his interests. For instance, if he likes watching football, you can go with him to a game or two. You do not have to force yourself to like it, but you can give him company whenever the need arises.

6. Figure out his preferred mode of communication

Some shy guys may feel awkward talking to a girl face-to-face but are more open to chatting or texting. Similarly, some guys find typing troublesome and prefer interacting in person. Try to find out what your guy likes and stick to that mode while limiting interaction in the other method.

7. Avoid blabbering

Your excitement of talking to this guy and his inability to keep the conversation going can make you blabber to kill moments of awkward silence. But you need to have some patience and allow the guy to think of something to talk to you about. It may feel weird to sit quietly but bear with it to see if he is interested in talking to you.

8. Be open about your feelings

A shy guy may not pick subtle hints and may not even understand your interest in him. If you want to take things forward, you may have to be bold and clear about your intentions. You have to show him that you intend to take your friendship to another level.

9. Don’t expect an elaborate romantic proposal

It is not that shy guys are not romantic. They are, but their idea of romance differs from what you see in movies. He will not reveal his feelings for you in front of a crowd. The shy guy would always pick privacy over public gestures.

10. Appreciate his little gestures

A shy guy may not book a fancy yacht to give you a surprise but will remember to buy your favorite icecream when he knows you are feeling low. He will wait in a long queue to get you tickets to your favorite concert and will not mind driving over miles to drop you home safely. He may not be expressive, but he has his ways of showing love.

11. Don’t be disappointed by his idea of a date

Do not feel disappointed when he suggests watching a movie at his house with some pizza instead of taking you for a romantic date in a fancy uptown restaurant. Do not make wrong assumptions. In reality, he may feel overwhelmed in crowded spaces and may prefer spending time alone with you.

12. Don’t mistake his silence for aloofness

When talking to a shy guy, don’t lose sight that he is an introvert and can feel overwhelmed with continuous interaction. Don’t mistake his silence for disinterest. If he likes you, he will open up slowly. But don’t expect him to have hour-long conversations after one or two interactions.

13. Enjoy the silence with him

Learn to enjoy the brief periods of silence between him and you. Sometimes, even when he is with you, he might be lost in his thoughts. Instead of coaxing him to speak, try to be comfortable in the silence that prevails. Let him dwell in his thoughts while you enjoy being by his side.

14. Understand he is a good listener

You rant against a mean friend and expect him to chime in with his words of support. But when he doesn’t, you feel hurt thinking he never listens to you. Your assumption might be wrong here. Shy guys are good listeners and can remember even the smallest of details that you mention to them. The next time you mention that ‘mean friend,’ he will know what you are talking about.

15. Show interest in his life

To know him better, you can ask him about his family and childhood. Pay attention to him, so he knows how serious you are about him. Ask questions related to his personal life and prompt long and deep conversations.

16. Be ready to initiate intimacy

When dating a shy guy, there could be chances of slow progression in your relationship. If the slow pace frustrates you, take the lead. Instead of waiting for your first kiss, give him a heads up by kissing him on his cheek a couple of times before he finally gets it and initiates the first kiss.

17. Don’t point out his shy nature

Each time you compliment him, he might end up blushing like a tomato. You may feel tempted to point it out and laugh, but it might make him feel embarrassed. Avoid saying anything that could make him more self-conscious.

18. Never share his private information

It takes a lot of effort and trust for a shy guy to confide in someone. And when he opens up to you, ensure that the information remains with you. If he ever learns that you shared his confidential information with someone else, he would not trust you again and might not even forgive you for it.

19. Give him his space

Shy guys often need to retract into their shells from time to time. During such a phase, try to understand him and give him time to himself. He may not text you for days, but once he feels rejuvenated after the brief gap, he will come back to you feeling refreshed and relaxed.

20. Never forget his sensitive nature

In a fit of rage, you might speak something hurtful and blame his shy nature for it. He may not have control over his socially anxious nature, so picking on him for it might hurt him beyond repair. Instead, speak to him when something is wrong and see how he tries his best to make things right for you.

21. Love him the way he is

A shy guy can make an amazing romantic partner if you can accept him the way he is. Never try to change him because he is perfect the way he is. You need to see the good side of him and his love for you without overly expressing the same.

When dating a shy guy, all you need is a little patience and a lot of understanding. Such a guy does not play games and is his authentic self most of the time. If you accept his reticent nature, he too will happily accept you with all your flaws without ever making you feel them. He will love you for loving him the way he is and will always have your back. If you are dating a shy guy, never let him go, as he can update your definition of love and romance.

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Ratika Pai

Ratika has experience writing in various fields including finance, education, lifestyle, and entertainment. After her masters degree in Commerce, she acquired a PG Diploma in Communication and Journalism from Mumbai University. She is inquisitive about human relationships and likes to study people and how they manage their relationships, during her freetime. At MomJunction, Ratika writes insightful and informative articles on... more