‘Do I really love her?’ If you have trouble deciding when you have developed feelings for someone, this post is for you. Attraction can vary from person to person. When you come across someone who becomes more than a friend to you, it can be difficult to comprehend your feelings at first.
There is a thin line between infatuation and love, and while it may be tough for most people to differentiate between the two, you can learn about it through this post. You need to give time to yourself and analyze your feelings to understand them. Hence, here we will help you find out if you really love her or not.
Signs You Are In Love With Her
Love can be hard to differentiate in the heat of the moment, especially when you’re in the early honeymoon period. We’ve listed some signs for you to determine whether your feelings are mere infatuation in the early stages of intimacy or you have started loving her.
1. You can’t picture a future without her
We all have a vision of a dream person and our future with them. If she is the only one who seems to fit the bill when you think of spending your life and someone with whom you imagine your future, then you’re probably in love with her. But if this is the first time you have felt this way, take it slow.
2. You think of her when you’re upset
Our intentions come out when we are at our lowest point. After a setback or during tough times, if you think about her and crave her support, you might be seeing her as a potential life partner and someone to confide in. It is a good indication that you are in love with her.
3. You want to share the good news with her
If she is the first one who comes into your mind when you have to share some happy news, you’re likely in love with her. Expressing your happiness and sharing proud moments are ideal partner goals. You show your adoration by turning to them in times of happiness and sorrow.
4. You value her opinion
It could be your core beliefs, career path, lifestyle, or even the way you dress—do you value her opinion on most things in your life? Wanting someone to like every aspect of you means you care about her a lot, and that is a good sign you are in love with her. It is also a sign of compatibility between you both.
5. You cannot stand people speaking ill of her
We have an instinct to stand up for our loved ones when someone disrespects them. While you may let this go for your friends and even family to avoid issues, you cannot stand it when someone speaks ill of the girl you like. If you care about her feelings and cannot tolerate anyone talking wrong about her, you’re probably in love with her.
6. You let them get away with things
When our friends touch our sensitive trigger points, we might snap at them. But do you let it go when she does the same? If that is so, it must be because your feelings for her are so strong that your feelings are not hurt.
7. You base your decisions around her
Would she like my new shirt? Which plan would make her happy? If you constantly think about her for every decision you make, you probably love her. It could be something as small as buying an outfit to something as big as changing apartments or jobs. If someone is the sole cause and impetus for significant decisions, it suggests they mean a lot to you.
8. You feel comfortable sharing stories with her
We all have close friends, siblings, and even parents to confide in about the things we don’t want to share with others. But sometimes, we may not be able to share certain stories with them. In such a scenario, if you feel comfortable sharing stories with her, it means you trust her and share a deep sense of affection and love for her. It also means that she has a deep understanding of your nature and you are ready for making a commitment with her.
9. You don’t mind sacrificing things for her
We all have needs and wants in our life. But when we are willing to sacrifice particular objects, pleasures, passion and experiences for the sake of someone else’s happiness, it means they mean a lot. It could be missing the premiere of a movie you’ve been waiting for or not buying yourself a new gadget to get her a gift. Regardless, if her happiness takes precedent over yours, you’re in love with her.
10. You feel challenged to think differently
We spend our entire lives trying to find people we are compatible with and with whom we feel comfortable. But when we like someone who constantly challenges us to do better and pushes us to our limits as they see potential in us, life may seem better. If you like overcoming the challenges and prove to her, it means you are deeply attached to her.
11. You want to get to know everything about her
It’s natural to be curious about people we like. But when you’re in love with someone, this desire can border on obsessive behavior. You may wish to know every tiny detail about her—from her childhood favorite snack to her celebrity movie crush or her favorite band. The feeling appears when you want to get closer to her romantically.
12. You can’t see her angry
We do not like to disappoint people close to us, be it friends, co-workers, or family. But it’s inevitable. But if you feel tormented that she is upset or angry because of you and you wish to do anything to make her happy, it means you’re probably in love with her.
13. You consider having a family with her
Do you imagine having a family with her? And children? If yes, you find yourself thinking about her more often, which means you have fallen for her.
14. You want to try new things for her
You try things outside your comfort for someone special. It could be something small like trying a new cuisine or hairstyle or something scary like skydiving or bungee jumping. Regardless, if you’re willing to venture outside your familiar zone to strengthen your bond with her, you probably love her.
15. Your future planning revolves around her
If the major decisions of your life are influenced by her, it reflects your attachment. For instance, you’re willing to take a chance on your relationship, risking your career and well-being, you’re in love with her.
16. You aren’t scared of her flaws
Do you care for her and love her even after knowing her flaws? Or do you think certain flaws and imperfections make her who she is? If you say yes, it means she is more than a friend to you. It also means that your devotion for her will never waver.
17. You respect her decisions
We all ask our friends and family for advice from time to time, but this is not always possible. If you find her to be the best person to advise you or help you get out of a dilemma, then she could be the one.
18. You are ready to accept her at her worst
Everyone has off days when they’re not at their best as a person. If you can love her during such times and don’t want to leave her alone, you are in love with her. It’s easy to love someone at their best, but only true love and romance persist when you accept their worst.
19. Your darkest days get better when she’s around
We all have days when we feel low—maybe you had a fight with a family member or lost your job. Regardless, if she can bring a smile to your face and you wish to spend every such moment with her, it means you consider her more than a friend.
20. You want her family to like you
Most of us are close to our family, and their opinions matter. If you love her, you would want her family to like you as well, to make it easier for her to love you back and make your relationship wholesome.
21. You look forward to seeing her every time
Spending time with her gives you a deep sense of fulfillment and contentment. If it’s been weeks and you haven’t seen her, you must be missing her terribly as the love for her has started to blossom. Even chatting with her may make you feel excited.
Celestine Chua, a blogger from Singapore, shares her husband’s experience in her blog as to how he used to feel excited to talk to her before the confession. When asked about how he realized that she is the one, he says, “Right from our first Whatsapp conversation, our connection felt special. Even though I had been in so many relationships, I’ve never felt this way with other girls — not even close. I looked forward to chatting with her every day even though I barely knew her before this and had not seen her for almost five years (i).”
22. You would do almost anything for her
While we do a lot for our crushes, there are limits to what they can ask or expect us to do for them. But when you love the woman, you would go above and beyond to make her happy.
23. You still get butterflies when you’re around her
Every relationship has a honeymoon period where everything is fun and exciting. It tends to be a temporary phase that fades with time in most casual relationships. But if you’re still emotionally invested in her and if you get nervous when she is around, you’re in love with her.
24. You worry that she might not feel the same way about you
You love her and want to be loved in return. When you have committed to her, you could be looking for her appreciation. It happens when you want to spend a life with her and are curious to know what she thinks about it.
25. You feel her pain
We all empathize with people in our lives to some extent. When it comes to the woman you love, the feeling is amplified. You will feel every dilemma, disappointment, and regret almost as much as she does.
26. You daydream about her
It’s not uncommon to daydream about people in our lives. It could be about blowing your professor’s mind with an excellent presentation or impressing your friends with a cool trick. But when you daydream of her often, it’s a sign that you’re in love with her.
How Long Does It Take To Say ‘I Love You’ To Someone?
According to a study, 19% of the US population thinks they can say “I love you” within one to three months. At a close 18% are people who believe that they should wait for four to six months. Men, in general, tend to fall in love sooner than women.
However, falling in love is subjective. While some people tend to fall in love immediately, sometimes within a week, others might take time to come out of their shells and say those three words. In fact, 12% of the population believes that they should wait for a year or more before professing their love (1).
Also, remember that saying “I love you” to your sweetheart and falling in love are two different things. You may fall in love at first sight, but wait for some time before letting them know.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. What is the difference between “I love you” and “I am in love with you?”
There is a subtle difference between “I love you’ and ‘I’m in love with you.” When you say “I love you” to someone, you are declaring your love and revealing how you currently feel about them. Telling someone “I’m in love with you” is when you love someone beyond their appearance. It can be falling in love with the way they think or anything about their personality that you can’t help but love them.
2. What does true love feel like?
True love is acceptance and the state of being at ease and comfortable with someone. It is a feeling of deep affection towards another person that it feels impossible to live without them when you find them.
3. Does true love ever go away?
No. True love is unconditional. Even if you part ways with your love, you will always feel a connection with them. Real love is giving, and once you find it, it seems impossible to live without.
4. How long does it take to say ‘I love you’ to someone?
The time it takes to say ‘I love you’ to someone varies from person to person and relationship to relationship. Some individuals feel comfortable expressing their feelings early on, while others may take their time to develop that level of emotional intimacy. Factors such as past experiences, the pace of the relationship, and individual comfort levels all play a role. It is essential for individuals to communicate openly and honestly about their emotions, ensuring that the timing is suitable for both parties involved. Rushing or delaying the expression of love can be influenced by the dynamics and circumstances of each relationship.
Love is a beautiful emotion, but it can be confusing at times. Sometimes, you may be attracted to a girl and would not be sure if this is a mere infatuation or genuine love. Although there are no fixed rules to measure love, some signs may help you understand your feelings. So, if you think of her during your sad moments, value her opinion, and base your decisions keeping her in mind, then there are good chances that you love her. However, if you are still overwhelmed with the question, ‘Do I really love her?’, the only way to know is to observe your thoughts and interpret how you feel about her.
Infographic: More Notable Signs That Indicate You Love Her
Take some time to consider whether your feelings for her are love or something else, as love is frequently misunderstood as infatuation. Many indicators can help you understand your emotions, but if you are still unsure, have a look at this infographic, where a few more signs have been covered that might be useful.
- You may feel those flutters when you look at her but may be unsure if it is love or infatuation.
- If you are unable to imagine your future without her and like her for who she is, then you may have fallen for her.
- Observe your feelings for her and listen to your heart before confessing.
Personal Experience: Source
- Relationships: How long should you wait before having sex, moving in together, and getting engaged.