What Is Double Texting, Its Pros & Cons, And How To Stop

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Instant messaging apps are widely used for messaging in today’s world. While you may keep texting a person you like, not getting a response could make you indulge in double texting. With no set of texting rules or accepted mannerisms, it becomes tricky to do it the right way, especially when dating. For example, say you text a friend and get no reply. Out of desperation, you keep texting them until you get a response. Though your friends may not have issues with such behavior, it may not be a pleasant experience with your crush. So, is it okay to double text your date, or is it not acceptable? Read on as we tell you all you need to know about double texting and its dos and don’ts.

What Is Double Texting?

Double texting refers to sending two or more text messages in a row to get a response quickly. It could happen in between the conversation or when it seems to get dull. Frequent double texting can make a wrong impression, and you can come across as an impatient and needy person. It often comes across as needy or unable to self control. At times, it reflects lack of confidence of a person too. By now, you must be wondering how you could get their response if you cannot double text? Keep reading to know more about the etiquettes of double texting.

When Should You Double Text?

Before answering this question, let’s understand what goes on in the mind that urges one to double text.

The wait for the response can make you anxious and feel insecure. In that moment of desperation, you may pick up the phone, type, and hit enter. At this emotionally charged moment, your thought process doesn’t work at its best, and so you tend to ignore the warning signs only to repent later.

Now whether you double text or not depends solely on the situation. To make the right decision, figuring out why you want to double text can be helpful.

  1. Logistical reasons: You might have decided to meet at a movie theatre, but you get to know the movie is not playing when you reach there. In such a case, you will have to send a message and ask if it is the right place or not.

You may ask, “Just checking if this is the right theatre because the movie isn’t playing here.” You may wait for 10 to 15 minutes before sending another message. Even then, if they don’t respond, you can text them saying, “you there?” or “reply please” because the situation demands.

  1. Follow-up on a plan: You decided to meet on Saturday. You texted them on Friday morning to confirm the plan, but you haven’t heard from them. It’s Saturday afternoon, and it is natural to get a little anxious about the plan. In this scenario, it’s okay to send another message. Again, be careful with the contents of the message.

Instead of saying, “You didn’t reply to my message yesterday. Hope we are still meeting tonight,” say, “See you tonight. 9 pm, right?” Such a text conveys your excitement and confirms the timing. Also, you don’t come across as desperate or anxious.

Even if you need to double text, do not send multiple messages in an hour. If you are at the initial phase of your relationship, it is important to keep the conversation casual and light. Replying only when your date responds and waiting for five to ten minutes before answering a text are considered good texting manners.

How Long Should You Wait Before Double Texting?

It’s a good idea to wait for at least a day or two before double texting. If you do not know your date’s schedules and commitments, be considerate and give them enough time to respond.

Also, remember not to text immediately when you see them online. You may assume that they saw the message and aren’t replying for a reason. If you get a reply, don’t start arguing about why they haven’t replied to you. Don’t not text them if they do not reply. They may be busy with their family and friends.

Pros Of Double Texting

Are you guilty of double texting? Will it go against you? The chances are that double texting can work in your favor if used judiciously.

1. Use as a conversation starter

Sometimes, your date or partner may have missed answering your message. Or they may have overlooked replying maybe because it wasn’t a priority for them. Sending another text could help restart the conversation. You can use something like, “Need a recommendation for (fill in the blank with your date’s interests)” to pick up the conversation.

2. Show yourself as a warm person

Sometimes, double texting shows you as a caring person, especially when your date or significant other is sick or experiencing trouble. It may even show you as someone who puts others’ needs ahead of your own. Texting them again clearly indicates that you wish to help them.

3. Put across your perseverance skills

At times, being a little persuasive and double texting can do the trick. It may show you are willing to put in the extra effort. Even then, be cautious and don’t text more than once as it may make you look clingy and obsessive.

4. Show genuine interest

Some people don’t like texting in the initial stages of a relationship. They might be testing how interested you are in them. So, in such a case, double texting can show you are genuinely interested. However, if you think their intention is manipulative, be careful about texting.

5. Use it as an icebreaker

Some people are nervous to message first. If you double text, it serves as an icebreaker. They may feel a little more comfortable, and you may end up winning a date.

Remember, double texting is like walking on a double-edged sword. So, tread this path with extra care.

Cons Of Double Texting

Too much of anything can be bad, and so is the case with double texting. If you are getting to know someone, double texting can be a deal-breaker and could

1. Spoil your chances

In the pursuit of connecting with your date, you may send them multiple messages even though you get no response. This could put your date off. In the initial stages of dating, when people don’t know each other well, double texting can make you look like a clingy, impatient, and desperate person.

3. Annoy the person

If your date does not respond, they could be busy or stuck in some situation. If you are left on seen, wait for a few days before trying your luck again. A plethora of messages from you may annoy them and make your chances bleak. If you need to start a conversation, sending a link or some verified information regarding the book (or any other thing) that you have discussed during the date would be a good idea.

3. Pose a challenge if your communication styles are different

Some people are not good at texting. They may be waiting to find the right response to your message or looking for a time when they can sit down to have a real conversation. If you keep bombarding their phone with messages in such a scenario, it may put them off. Give your partner considerable time before double texting.

4. Show lack of texting etiquette

If you keep sending messages such as “Why are you not responding? or Are you there?” to elicit a response from someone, it may show you are immature and lack proper mannerism.

Even the harmless daily good morning and good night messages can get off the limits.

It’s always a good idea to think through what you want to say and paraphrase your message to leave a good impression.

5. Give a hint to stop

Constant double texting may irritate the receiver, and they may start avoiding you. On the other hand, if your double texts were a few days apart and they haven’t replied even after a day or so, it shows they are not interested.

Remember that people make time for you when they want to, and their no response may imply that they do not want to take this conversation forward.

How To Stop Double Texting?

If the person hasn’t replied to your double text, it may leave you more confused and make it harder to wait for the response. As part of self-care and for your mental and emotional health, stop the urge to double text. Try to understand that they are not athe right fit for you. So, keep your phone aside, indulge in some activity, a hobby, or watch a movie. In short, distract yourself.

While you do this, keep a positive attitude. Wait and observe, and it will help you decide the future course of the relationship.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Is double texting a big deal?

Sending texts twice if someone doesn’t respond may not be a big deal. It is normal for you to expect an answer to your text. However, you must also consider the situation of the other person. It might be possible that they haven’t read the message or might have forgotten to reply to it. If you have not received a reply to your first text, wait for a few hours unless it is urgent.

2. Should you double text a guy if he hasn’t replied?

Give them some time before you double text. You may wait at least a day or two, and then message them asking how they are doing. If they rarely reply to your texts, it might be better for you to avoid texting them altogether.

Texting should be an equal exchange between two partners, and double texting should not become a habit. Double texting, at times, may be required to get confirmation on a predetermined plan. It may also manifest concern or genuine interest in the person you are dating. On the other hand, multiple texts before one can reply may come across as neediness and impatience, and you may end up annoying the receiver. If you are tempted to double text someone who hasn’t responded, try distracting yourself and avoid being overwhelmed with negative thoughts. In the worst case, it may be an indication to stop trying and move on.

Infographic: Texting While Dating

Though there are no hard and fast rules of texting, maintaining basic decorum may improve your chances of progressing to a successful relationship. This infographic sheds light on texting norms to follow while dating. Keeping this handy may help you woo your date.

texting etiquette when dating [infographic]
Illustration: MomJunction Design Team

Key Pointers

  • You may double text out of anxiety from no response or due to logical reasons.
  • It may reflect your interest and care for that person but may also annoy and push them away.
  • Self-awareness and patience can help you avoid double texting.

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Ratika Pai

Ratika has experience writing in various fields including finance, education, lifestyle, and entertainment. After her masters degree in Commerce, she acquired a PG Diploma in Communication and Journalism from Mumbai University. She is inquisitive about human relationships and likes to study people and how they manage their relationships, during her freetime. At MomJunction, Ratika writes insightful and informative articles on... more

Donna Murphy

(BSW, MSW, RSW Cert. Ad.Ed)
Donna Murphy is a social worker and operates a private practice in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. In her 15 years of experience, she has seen individuals and couples transform their lives when they begin to make changes within. As a result, Donna has undertaken a writing project that will assist people in first understanding themselves and second changing their lives for... more