What Is Double Texting, Its Pros & Cons, And How To Stop

Instant messaging apps are widely used for messaging in today’s world. While you may keep texting a person you like, not getting a response could make you indulge in double texting. With no set of texting rules or accepted mannerisms, it becomes tricky to do it the right way, especially when dating. For example, say you text a friend and get no reply. Out of desperation, you keep messaging twice or texting in quick succession until you get a response. Though your friends may not have issues with such behavior, it may not be a pleasant experience with your crush. So, is it okay to double text your date, or is it not acceptable? Read on as we tell you all you need to know about double texting or texting in rapid succession and its dos and don’ts.

In This Article

What Is Double Texting?

Follow-up on a plan, Double texting
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Image: IStock

Double texting refers to texting twice in rapid succession or sending two or more text messages in a row to get a response quickly. It could happen in between the conversation or when it seems to get dull. Texting in rapid intervals can make a wrong impression, and you can come across as an impatient and needy person. It often comes across as needy or unable to self control. At times, it reflects lack of confidence of a person too. By now, you must be wondering how you could get their response if you cannot double text? Keep reading to know more about the etiquettes of double texting.

protip_icon Quick tip
Double texting projects your impatience. Just as in a regular face-to conversation, wait for the person at the other end to respond before you text again.

When Should You Double Text?

Before answering this question, let’s understand what goes on in the mind that urges one to double text.

The wait for the response can make you anxious and feel insecure. In that moment of desperation, you may pick up the phone, type, and hit enter. At this emotionally charged moment, your thought process doesn’t work at its best, and so you tend to ignore the warning signs only to repent later.

The reasons for double texting or texting in quick intervals can also depend on the situation. To make the right decision, figuring out why you want to double text can be helpful.

  1. Logistical reasons: You might have decided to meet at a movie theatre, but you get to know the movie is not playing when you reach there. In such a case, you will have to send a message and ask if it is the right place or not.

You may ask, “Just checking if this is the right theatre because the movie isn’t playing here.” You may wait for 10 to 15 minutes before sending another message. Even then, if they don’t respond, you can text them saying, “you there?” or “reply please” because the situation demands.

  1. Follow-up on a plan: You decided to meet on Saturday. You texted them on Friday morning to confirm the plan, but you haven’t heard from them. It’s Saturday afternoon, and it is natural to get a little anxious about the plan. In this scenario, it’s okay to send another message. Again, be careful with the contents of the message.

Instead of saying, “You didn’t reply to my message yesterday. Hope we are still meeting tonight,” say, “See you tonight. 9 pm, right?” Such a text conveys your excitement and confirms the timing. Also, you don’t come across as desperate or anxious.

Even if you need to double text, do not send multiple messages in an hour. If you are at the initial phase of your relationship, it is important to keep the conversation casual and light. Replying only when your date responds and waiting for five to ten minutes before answering a text are considered good texting manners.

protip_icon Do remember
It is often difficult to read the tone of a text message. For example, you might text something lightheartedly, but the receiver might read it wrong. So you can add emojis to convey your intentions better.

How Long Should You Wait Before Double Texting?

It’s a good idea to wait at least a day or two before double texting or texting in rapid bursts. If you do not know your date’s schedules and commitments, be considerate and give them enough time to respond.

Also, remember not to text immediately when you see them online. You may assume that they saw the message and aren’t replying quickly for a reason. If you get a reply, don’t start arguing about why they haven’t replied to you. Don’t not text them if they do not reply. They may be busy with their family and friends.

Remember that double texting someone boils down to the relationship and comfort level you share with the opposite person and how open the opposite person is to the idea. Tracey Folly, a blogger, shares her experience with double texting. She says, “My friends and I are no strangers to double texting. I have one friend who has no problem sending over a hundred texts in a row, rapid-fire before I even have a chance to respond to the first. And you know what? I’m fine with it. Likewise, I feel perfectly comfortable sending this same friend just as many texts in a row as I wish. Double texting just isn’t an issue for us (i).”

Pros Of Double Texting

Are you guilty of double texting or texting in quick bursts? Will it go against you? The chances are that double texting can work in your favor if used judiciously.

1. Use as a conversation starter

Sometimes, your date or partner may have missed answering your message. Or they may have overlooked replying maybe because it wasn’t a priority for them. Sending another text could help restart the conversation. You can use something like, “Need a recommendation for (fill in the blank with your date’s interests)” to pick up the conversation.

2. Show yourself as a warm person

Double texting shows you are a caring person
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Image: IStock

Sometimes, double texting shows you as a caring person, especially when your date or significant other is sick or experiencing trouble. It may even show you as someone who puts others’ needs ahead of your own. Texting them again clearly indicates that you wish to help them.

3. Put across your perseverance skills

At times, being a little persuasive and double texting can do the trick. It may show you are willing to put in the extra effort. Even then, be cautious and don’t text more than once as it may make you look clingy and obsessive.

4. Show genuine interest

Some people don’t like texting in the initial stages of a relationship. They might be testing how interested you are in them. So, in such a case, double texting can show you are genuinely interested. However, if you think their intention is manipulative, be careful about texting.

5. Use it as an icebreaker

Some people are nervous to message first. If you double text, it serves as an icebreaker. They may feel a little more comfortable, and you may end up winning a date.

Remember, double texting is like walking on a double-edged sword. So, tread this path with extra care.

protip_icon Point to consider
Casually ask your crush if they mind you texting them. Constantly texting and calling a person who doesn’t use their phone much might put them off at the very beginning.

Cons Of Double Texting

Too much of anything can be bad, and so is the case with double texting. If you are getting to know someone, double texting can be a deal-breaker and could

1. Spoil your chances

In the pursuit of getting a rapid response or connecting with your date, you may send them multiple messages even though you get no response. This could put your date off. In the initial stages of dating, when people don’t know each other well, double texting can make you look like a clingy, impatient, and desperate person.

2. Annoy the person

Wait for a few days before texting again
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Image: IStock

If your date does not respond, they could be busy or stuck in some situation. If you are left on seen, wait for a few days before trying your luck again. A plethora of messages from you may annoy them and make your chances bleak. If you need to start a conversation, sending a link or some verified information regarding the book (or any other thing) that you have discussed during the date would be a good idea.

3. Pose a challenge if your communication styles are different

Some people are not good at texting. They may be waiting to find the right response to your message or looking for a time when they can sit down to have a real conversation. If you keep bombarding their phone with messages in such a scenario, it may put them off. Give your partner considerable time before rapid texting or double texting.

4. Show lack of texting etiquette

If you keep sending multiple messages, such as “Why are you not responding?” or “Are you there?”, to elicit a response from someone, it may show you are immature and lack proper mannerisms.

Even the harmless daily good morning and good night messages can get off the limits.

It’s always a good idea to think through what you want to say and paraphrase your message to leave a good impression.

5. Give a hint to stop

Constant double texting may irritate the receiver, and they may start avoiding you. On the other hand, if your double texts were a few days apart and they haven’t replied even after a day or so, it shows they are not interested.

Remember that people make time for you when they want to, and their no response may imply that they do not want to take this conversation forward.

How To Stop Double Texting?

Keep your phone aside
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If the person hasn’t replied to your double text, it may leave you more confused and make it harder to wait for the response. As part of self-care and for your mental and emotional health, stop the urge to double text. Try to understand that they are not athe right fit for you. So, keep your phone aside, indulge in some activity, a hobby, or watch a movie. In short, distract yourself.

While you do this, keep a positive attitude. Wait and observe, and it will help you decide the future course of the relationship.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Is double texting a big deal?

Sending texts twice if someone doesn’t respond may not be a big deal. It is normal for you to expect an answer to your text. However, you must also consider the situation of the other person. It might be possible that they haven’t read the message or might have forgotten to reply to it. If you have not received a reply to your first text, wait for a few hours unless it is urgent.

2. Should you double text a guy if he hasn’t replied?

Give them some time before you double text. You may wait at least a day or two, and then message them asking how they are doing. If they rarely reply to your texts, it might be better for you to avoid texting them altogether.

3. Why do people double text?

People may double text for a variety of reasons including some emergency or to fix up plans before a big event. Some people may be impatient by nature and may double text if they do not receive a reply within a few minutes.

4. How can I respond to someone who double texts me?

If they have double texted you for some urgent reason, you may respond by apologizing to them and clearing up their issues. However, if someone double texts you without reason and doesn’t give you enough time to respond, you can talk to them clearly about boundaries and state why you cannot respond immediately.

5. Is it okay to double text in a romantic relationship?

No. Double texting is only okay when you are in some urgency to get an answer within a stipulated time period. In a romantic relationship, you should wait for an hour or even a couple of hours before you double text your partner. However, you know your partner the best. If you think they might appreciate multiple messages from you, you can double text.

6. How can I avoid double texting without seeming disinterested?

Double texting often comes across as demanding and needy. Sending simple messages and waiting for the receiver to respond does not make you seem disinterested. Instead, it assures the receiver that you respect their boundaries and time.

7. What are some alternative ways to communicate instead of double texting?

If a person does not respond to your text, you can use other methods of communication, such as phone calls, social media, or email. However, you must keep their preferred mode of communication in mind. In some cases, you can also wait for a natural prompt to start a conversation again. For instance, if the person likes a movie, you can message them before it gets released.

8. What is texting anxiety?

Texting anxiety is the feeling of stress and worry while sending or receiving texts. You may worry about misinterpretation or judgment about a text message. Besides, you may feel anxious if the opposite party does not respond immediately, leading to overthinking. When you receive a response, you may feel pressured to reply quickly. Due to these intense emotions, you may stop texting altogether. Your fear of rejection combined with perfectionism could lead to texting anxiety.

Texting back and forth should be an equal exchange between two partners, and double texting should not become a habit. Double messaging, at times, may be required to get confirmation on a predetermined plan. It may also manifest concern or genuine interest in the person you are dating. On the other hand, multiple texts before one can reply may come across as neediness and impatience, and you may end up annoying the receiver. If you are tempted to double text someone who hasn’t responded, try distracting yourself and avoid being overwhelmed with negative thoughts. In the worst case, it may be an indication to stop trying and move on.

Infographic: Texting While Dating

Though there are no hard and fast rules of texting, maintaining basic decorum may improve your chances of progressing to a successful relationship. This infographic sheds light on texting norms to follow while dating. Keeping this handy may help you woo your date.

texting etiquette when dating (infographic)

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

Get the high-quality PDF version of this infographic.

Download Infographic in PDF version

Key Pointers

  • You may double text out of anxiety from no response or due to logical reasons.
  • It may reflect your interest and care for that person but may also annoy and push them away.
  • Self-awareness and patience can help you avoid double texting.
double texting_illustration

Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team

Double texting is when you send two or more messages in a row without waiting for a response. Learn more in this video!

Personal Experience: Source

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