The first few days, weeks, months, or years in a relationship are filled with excitement and curiosity as you learn about each other. However, after the initial honeymoon phase of your relationship, the excitement and curiosity are bound to slowly fade if a relationship is not attended to by both partners. It is normal to go through times when the good feelings are there less often. If you feel that a less than happy routine has set in and that your partner is losing interest in you — or if either of you has doubts about your relationship, confusion and skepticism may creep in.
Keep reading this post to be aware of the signs that your partner is losing interest and to understand how your relationship can be fixed after a time of uncertainty.
Six Signs Your Partner Is Losing Interest
The reasons to lose interest and become disconnected, emotionless, and passionless in a relationship could vary from person to person. Here are a few common signs your partner is losing interest in you.
1. They no more have conversations
If your partner has been sharing the minutest details of your day with you and it has stopped over time, it could be a sign of a lost connection and an increase in apathy between you and your partner. Especially if they used to asking your opinion on everything but are making their own decisions now, it is a definite red flag.
2. They have changed
If your partner always used to treat you with love and respect, but shows neither now, something has changed. It may be a sign of lost interest or even indifference. In general, if your partner does not care for you as they had before, and particularly does not shy from showing their attitude in public, there are serious issues.
3. They don’t spend time with you
Consciously or subconsciously, your partner spends less time with you. In fact, your partner could already be disinterested and has been actively looking for reasons to spend time apart.
4. They move away from physical touch
Physical intimacy is not limited to sex only. There are different ways of showing intimacy, including cuddling, kissing, and holding hands. If you are experiencing a lack of any physical intimacy, it might be a sign that your partner is becoming more aloof as they are slowly losing interest in you.
5. They do not argue
Though you might think it is a good sign that your partner doesn’t argue anymore, it also shows that your partner doesn’t care enough about the relationship to have arguments. It might be because your partner thinks it is not worth their time to argue, or that they just don’t care about what is happening in the marriage.
6. They ignore you
If your partner is unresponsive and goes for days without sending a message or calling you, it could mean that they are not feeling loving in the relationship, and are not wanting to talk with you – this could be a red flag. But consider that they might be genuinely busy, which is another matter.
Reasons For Losing Interest
Here are some reasons for your partner losing interest in you.
1. Different goals
If your partner has different goals or they find you to be unenthusiastic and don’t see you supporting their goals, it can be a reason for your partner to lose interest in you. While these differences can seem nice at the beginning of your relationship, they might not work over time in the relationship if there cannot be mutual acceptance and give and take in decision making.
2. Change in behavior
If you exhibit a completely different persona from who your partner married, it might be a reason for your partner to become unemotional and lose interest in you. For example, if you were extremely caring in the beginning and now you do not respond to your partner’s messages and calls for days on end, it could cause them to lose interest.
3. Blame on one another
If you start blaming your partner for every wrong thing that happens in your life, they might become unconnected and lose interest in you.
If you judge your partner’s actions continuously, it might cause them to lose interest in the relationship. Partners often view each other as safe places to share their inner feelings. If you do not provide that safe place, it is difficult for your partner to maintain a solid connection with you.
5. Short conversations
If you give monosyllabic answers or noncommittal responses to your partner’s questions, you will seem uninvested in the relationship and it will be difficult for them to maintain a relationship with you. They need someone to share their thoughts with, and if they find it an uphill task, it might not be worth their time.
If you play childish games with your partner continuously, they might lose interest in the relationship. While some games are necessary to keep the spark in a relationship alive, they shouldn’t be petty. Making your partner feel insignificant increases the distance between partners in a relationship.
Can Lost Feelings Come Back?
Even if things go wrong in your relationship, everything’s not lost. There will always be times of confusion and loss of connection, but you and your partner can rekindle the feelings with some effort. Lost feelings can come back, and this time you will be aware of the flaws that caused the confusion in the first place. You should also focus more directly on a daily basis to maintain connection.
How To Fix A Relationship After Losing Feelings?
If your partner has lost feelings for you, do not despair. There are still ways you can fix your relationship.
1. Have an honest conversation
If you feel your relationship is heading into serious difficulties, it might be time to have an honest conversation with your partner. Select a quiet time to spend with your partner and talk through what you are seeing and feeling in the relationship, and brainstorm together how to move forward after understanding all the differences.
2. Go to therapy
Going to a relationship therapist is nothing to be ashamed of. Instead, they can give you a new perspective on your problems. What seems impossible at home can be more easily solvable when the three of you are talking together. A therapist will also guide you with suggestions that will help to reignite the spark in your relationship.
3. Focus on yourself
When you focus on yourself, you gain a kind of confidence that attracts your partner. Follow your hobbies and dreams. Take care of yourself, physically, this will help you think better of yourself. This reflects in your attitude and body language. Your partner will stop and take notice of the change in you.
4. Remember why you were attracted to each other
Whatever your issues now, there was a time when you were seriously attracted to each other. Create an environment that reminds you and your partner of the time you came together in the beginning. Spend some time alone with each other and recreate your first date, try old habits like taking walks together, etc.
5. Communicate more often
In most cases, lack of communication is the main reason for a relationship falling apart. If your partner is communicating lesser than before, it might be because they are genuinely busy or that the excitement of the relationship has faded, and responding to your messages and calls are not on their priority list. You could keep up your side of communication while letting them know that you would feel better if they communicated with you as well.
Is it normal to lose feelings in a relationship? Yes, it is. Every relationship has its ups and downs. Confirm your suspicions if you notice signs indicating that your partner may be losing feelings for you. Observe their actions to understand what could have gone wrong. Lost feelings can be regained if both partners are willing to work on them. Hence, discuss your feelings with your partner, and if they feel the same, find ways to rekindle the lost romance. Further, attend couples therapy if your partner is willing to. With perseverance and efforts from both sides, you may be able to fall in love with each other again.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Will no-contact work if we lose feelings?
The no-contact rule may not work if they have already lost feelings for you. This rule helps to reignite the spark and remind them of their love for you. But if the opposite person has moved on and has no feelings for you, the no-contact tricks of posting on social media and showing them that you are happy on your own may not work for them. However, it never hurts to give it a try as long as you don’t force them.
2. How long does it take to lose feelings in a relationship?
There may not be any specific timeline for a person’s loss of interest in a relationship. It depends on their feelings, sincerity, and the type of relationship you have with them. If they are looking for a fling and not a serious relationship, they may lose interest in a few weeks or months when the excitement of a new relationship starts to fade.
3. How can someone communicate their feelings of losing attraction or affection to their partner without hurting them?
Pick a time when both of you are not engaged in anything important and a place where you can be alone. Convey your feelings by using ‘I’ statements such as ‘I have been feeling physically or emotionally distant from you’ rather than ‘You don’t attract me anymore.’ Moreover, avoid the blame game, try to empathize, and take responsibility for your actions as well.
4. What are some steps that can be taken to prevent a loss of feeling in a relationship?
Open communication and mutual gratitude are the best ways to maintain a healthy relationship. You should be able to tell your partner honestly what you feel and vice versa. Strive to spend quality time together with your partner through romantic and fun activities. Make sure you extend support and empathy whenever they need it. Besides, your connection in the bedroom can affect your relationship. Thus regular physical touch is important between partners to maintain love.
5. How can someone prioritize their own emotional well-being during this time?
You may practice self-care activities such as exercise and meditation to relax. You can also take up journaling or start engaging in your hobbies. Moreover, go out with your friends and family to find peace.
6. How long can I lose feelings for someone?
Determining the period a person takes to regain lost feelings may not be possible. For example, for some people, it may be a response to an argument; for others, it may result from mutual loss of communication and attraction, developing feelings for someone else, etc. Depending on these factors, one may lose feelings for a short period, while it can be permanent for others.
Infographic: How Therapy Can Help Bring Back feelings In A Relationship
If you feel your relationship is losing its charm and you and your partner are drifting apart, you can give therapy a chance. It will help you understand the reason for your problems and provide you with ways to deal with them. Read the following infographic to know more about how therapy can benefit your relationship.
- If your significant other is no more interested in those long, detailed conversations or stops noticing the minutest details about you, they could be losing interest in you.
- Having distinct goals, constantly playing the blame game, and behavioral changes could be the reason for them losing interest in you.
- Reignite the spark in your relationship by having a friendly conversation with them, recreating your favorite moments, and spending quality time together.
Feeling like your partner is distant? Not sure if they’re still interested? Check out this video for 10 signs someone is losing interest in you, helping you decode emotions and make informed decisions.