6 Clear Signs Your Partner Is Losing Interest And How To Fix It

Image: iStock


The first few days, weeks, months, or years in a relationship are filled with excitement and curiosity as you learn about each other. However, after the initial honeymoon phase of your relationship, the excitement and curiosity are bound to slowly fade if a relationship is not attended to by both partners. It is normal to go through times when the good feelings are there less often. If you feel that a less than happy routine has set in and that your partner is losing interest in you — or if either of you has doubts about your relationship, confusion and skepticism may creep in.

Keep reading this post to be aware of the signs that your partner is losing interest and to understand how your relationship can be fixed after a time of uncertainty.

Six Signs Your Partner Is Losing Interest

The reasons to lose interest in a relationship could vary from person to person. Here are a few common signs your partner is losing interest in you.

1. They no more have conversations

If your partner has been sharing the minutest details of your day with you and it has stopped over time, it could be a sign of a lost connection between you and your partner. Especially if they used to asking your opinion on everything but are making their own decisions now, it is a definite red flag.

2. They have changed

If your partner always used to treat you with love and respect, but shows neither now, something has changed, and may be a sign of lost interest. In general, if your partner does not care for you as they had before, and particularly does not shy from showing their attitude in public, there are serious issues.

3. They don’t spend time with you

Consciously or subconsciously, your partner spends less time with you. In fact, your partner could be actively looking for reasons to spend time apart from each other.

4. They move away from physical touch

Physical intimacy is not limited to sex only. There are different ways of showing intimacy, including cuddling, kissing, and holding hands. If you are experiencing lack of any physical intimacy, it might be a sign that your partner is losing interest in you.

5. They do not argue

Though you might think it is a good sign that your partner doesn’t argue anymore, it also shows that your partner doesn’t care enough about the relationship to have arguments. It might be because your partner thinks it is not worth their time to argue, or that they just don’t care about what is happening in the marriage.

6. They ignore you

If your partner goes for days without sending a message or calling you, it could mean that they are not feeling loving in the relationship, and are not wanting to talk with you – this could be a red flag. But consider that they might be genuinely busy, which is another matter.

Reasons For Losing Interest

Here are some reasons for your partner losing interest in you.

1. Different goals

If your partner has different goals or they don’t see you supporting their goals, it can be a reason for your partner to lose interest in you. While these differences can seem nice at the beginning of your relationship, they might not work over time in the relationship if there cannot be mutual acceptance and give and take in decision making.

2. Change in behavior

If you exhibit a completely different persona from who your partner married, it might be a reason for your partner losing interest in you. For example, if you were extremely caring in the beginning and now you do not respond to your partner’s messages and calls for days on end, it could cause them to lose interest.

3. Blame on one another

If you start blaming your partner for every wrong thing that happens in your life, they might lose interest in you.

4. Judgments

If you judge your partner’s actions continuously, it might cause them to lose interest in the relationship. Partners often view each other as safe places to share their inner feelings. If you do not provide that safe place, it is difficult for your partner to maintain a solid connection with you.

5. Short conversations

If you give monosyllabic answers or noncommittal responses to your partner’s questions, it will be difficult for them to maintain a relationship with you. They need someone to share their thoughts with, and if they find it an uphill task, it might not be worth their time.

6. Games

If you play childish games with your partner continuously, they might lose interest in the relationship. While some games are necessary to keep the spark in a relationship alive, they shouldn’t be petty. Making your partner feel insignificant increases the distance between partners in a relationship.

Can Lost Feelings Come Back?

Even if things go wrong in your relationship, everything’s not lost. There will always be times of confusion and loss of connection, but you and your partner can rekindle the feelings with some effort. Lost feelings can come back, and this time you will be aware of the flaws that caused the confusion in the first place. You should also focus more directly on a daily basis to maintain connection.

How To Fix A Relationship After Losing Feelings?

If your partner has lost feelings for you, do not despair. There are still ways you can fix your relationship.

1. Have an honest conversation

If you feel your relationship is heading into serious difficulties, it might be time to have an honest conversation with your partner. Select a quiet time to spend with your partner and talk through what you are seeing and feeling in the relationship, and brainstorm together how to move forward after understanding all the differences.

2. Go to therapy

Going to a relationship therapist is nothing to be ashamed of. Instead, they can give you a new perspective on your problems. What seems impossible at home can be more easily solvable when the three of you are talking together. A therapist will also guide you with suggestions that will help to reignite the spark in your relationship.

3. Focus on yourself

When you focus on yourself, you gain a kind of confidence that attracts your partner. Follow your hobbies and dreams. Take care of yourself, physically, this will help you think better of yourself. This reflects in your attitude and body language. Your partner will stop and take notice of the change in you.

4. Remember why you were attracted to each other

Whatever your issues now, there was a time when you were seriously attracted to each other. Create an environment that reminds you and your partner of the time you came together in the beginning. Spend some time alone with each other and recreate your first date, try old habits like taking walks together, etc.

5. Communicate more often

In most cases, lack of communication is the main reason for a relationship falling apart. If your partner is communicating lesser than before, it might be because they are genuinely busy or that the excitement of the relationship has faded, and responding to your messages and calls are not on their priority list. You could keep up your side of communication while letting them know that you would feel better if they communicated with you as well.

When you feel your partner is losing feelings for you, it will be a confusing time for you. All the time and effort you have spent building up the relationship seems to fall apart before your eyes. However, recognizing the signs early and working on them can help you get back on track. Is it normal to lose feelings in a relationship? Yes. But the lost feelings can come back with some effort. With perseverance, you can go back to a loving relationship with your partner.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Will no-contact work if we lose feelings?

The no-contact rule may not work if they have already lost feelings for you. This rule helps to reignite the spark and remind them of their love for you. But if the opposite person has moved on and has no feelings for you, the no-contact tricks of posting on social media and showing them that you are happy on your own may not work for them. However, it never hurts to give it a try as long as you don’t force them.

2. How long does it take to lose feelings in a relationship?

There may not be any specific timeline for a person’s loss of interest in a relationship. It depends on their feelings, sincerity, and the type of relationship you have with them. If they are looking for a fling and not a serious relationship, they may lose interest in a few weeks or months when the excitement of a new relationship starts to fade.

Key Pointers

  • If your significant other is no more interested in those long, detailed conversations or stops noticing the minutest details about you, they could be losing interest in you.
  • Having distinct goals, constantly playing the blame game, and behavioral changes could be the reason for them losing interest in you.
  • Reignite the spark in your relationship by having a friendly conversation with them, recreating your favorite moments, and spending quality time together.

Was this article helpful?
The following two tabs change content below.

Shikha Thakur

Shikha is a writer-turned-associate editor at MomJunction. Having done a certification in Relationship Coaching, her core interest lies in writing articles that guide couples through their courtship to marriage and parenthood. She also specializes in baby names. Being a postgraduate in Human Resources from Jawaharlal Nehru Technological University, she likes understanding people and their relationships. This reflects in her relationship... more

Sharon Gilchrest O’Neill

(Ed.S., LMFT)
Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and family business consultant, who has earlier been a graduate instructor/advisor, an organizational learning consultant, and hospice volunteer. With experience working in the private as well as corporate setting, Sharon helps her clients think creatively and build upon their strengths. Previously, she trained Russian psychiatrists in Moscow in the skills... more