200+ Funny Love Quotes For Her And Him

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You may adore your partner for many things, but them sharing the same sense of humor as you can be extremely gratifying. A great sense of humor between partners builds a strong foundation for a long-lasting relationship. You may hate a few moments in your relationship, but seeing the funny side of situations only creates great memories for the future.

A joke has the power even to stop a fight. If smiles and laughter are what you seek in your relationship, read these funny love quotes and send them one each day.

Funny Quotes For Him

You may have many things that you want to tell him. But if you’re unable to find amusing ways to convey your thoughts, here are few funny quotes for him.

  1. Every day, I find myself falling in love with you a little bit more, but damn, you were annoying for sure the other day.
  1. A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.” —Zsa Zsa Gabor
  1. I would love you, no matter what. Even if you were to fart in your sleep.
  1. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.” —Jackie Mason
  1. Besides my cup of coffee, you’re my favorite.”
  1. The way you look at me is similar to the way I look at a chocolate cake. I love it!
  1. He’s like a brilliant, sexy little hummingbird.” —Leslie Knope (about Ben), Parks and Recreation
  1. An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” —Agatha Christie
  1. If you text “I love you” and the person writes back an emoji – no matter what that emoji is they don’t love you back” —Chelsea Peretti
  1. True love is singing karaoke ‘Under Pressure’ and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part.” —Mindy Kaling
  1. Love is like a fart, if you force it it’s probably crap.” ―Joe Wiley
  1. Oh, no! I like you more than I planned to.”
  1. A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.” ―Tim Allen
  1. My dopamine levels go crazy when I’m with you.”
  1. There’s nothing wrong in admitting that I make your life so much better.
  1. I know why you’re so tired. You have vitamin ‘Me’ deficiency.”
  1. The reason why you’re so adorable is ’coz I constantly adore you.
  1. I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” ―Rita Rudner
  1. What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.” ―Cindy Garner
  1. The tingly feeling you get when you meet someone is common sense leaving your body.
  1. I hate you for stealing my heart, so I plan to steal your last name.”
  1. It’s the 21st century. I don’t need an alpha male to protect me. I don’t need a big, strong man to fight off a tiger. I need a geek who can get my naked photos off the cloud.” —Whitney Cummings
  1. I would love you forever. But alas! A human’s life is not that long.”
  1. Love is sharing your popcorn.” ―Charles M. Schultz
  1. I can’t eat in the morning cause I think of you. I can’t eat in the afternoon cause I think of you. I can’t sleep at night cause I’m hungry.”
  1. No, I don’t get butterflies in my stomach when I’m with you; I get the entire zoo!
  1. I love you as much as I’m annoyed by you, which is quite a lot.
  1. I miss crawling into a man’s arm, kissing his neck, saying those three little words into his ear, ‘And another thing…” ―Felicia Michaels
  1. I think I lack vitamin U in my life.
  1. I don’t love you with my heart; I love you with my belly cause it’s bigger.”
  1. Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.” ―Ambrose Bierce
  1. The day I preferred you over a burger, I knew it was true love.”
  1. Every day I look at you, I can’t help but wonder what made you a lucky man. Then I remember it was me.”
  1. While I may be left-handed, I’ve yet to figure out that my spouse is always right!” ―Matthew Alan House
  1. You must be made of Iodine, Livermorium, and Uranium because I Lv U!
  1. People do stupid things when in love ― like me sending you this text saying I miss you.
  1. I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.” ―Rita Rudner
  1. By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” ―Socrates
  1. I still remember the day you whispered those four words to me ― I’ll do the dishes.
  1. Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else.” ―Jean Kerr
  1. Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.” ―Chelsea Handler
  1. Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” ―Erma Bombeck
  1. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” ―Mignon McLaughlin
  1. Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.” ―Judith Viorst
  1. I want to be the reason why you look down at your phone and smile. I want to be the reason why you smile while you dream. I want to be the reason why you smile at nothing.”
  1. Even in a world full of art, it is you who would mesmerize me.”
  1. As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy.” ―Ralphie May
  1. The way you make me laugh and feel safe is the reason why I love you. All I’m saying is I’ve been waiting to fall in love with a clown ninja.”
  1. I let you go, and you came back with some coffee. That was when I knew we were meant to be together.
  1. Every time we argue, one of us is right. The other one is you.”
  1. Hey! Do you believe in love at first sight? I could always walk into you until you do.”
  1. Love is being stupid together.” ―Paul Valery
  1. Love is a lot like a backache: it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” ―George Burns
  1. It is funny how the human mind works. Mine worked quite well until the moment I met you.
  1. Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.” ―Kathy Mohnke
  1. What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.” ―Cindy Garner
  1. Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don’t; men hope women won’t change, but they do.” ―Bettina Arndt
  1. It was love at first sight for me with you. But I had to take another look to be sure.”
  1. If you’re looking for a way to prove your love to me, just pause your game.”
  1. Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.” ―Fran Lebowitz
  1. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.”
  1. If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something.” ―Fran Lebowitz
  1. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” ―Will Ferrell
  1. You may add meaning to my life, but you do subtract a lot of my food.
  1. My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.” ―Joan Rivers
  1. Hi! may I please borrow a band-aid? I just hit my head falling for you.”
  1. I love you from my head tomatoes.
  1. My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.” ―Garry Shandling
  1. I would fight the world for you. Well, maybe not the world, at least the country. No, let’s bring it down to the street. How about this? I will fight you for you.”
  1. Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.” ―Jerry Seinfeld
  1. Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings… and lawyers.” ―Richard Pryor
  1. My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.” ―Ray Romano
  1. A kiss may not be the truth but it is what we wish were true.” ―Steve Martin as Harris Telemacher in L.A. Story
  1. I don’t know how you put up with me. Oh, wait! Just the way I put up with you. That makes us even.”
  1. A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.” ―Woodrow Wyatt
  1. I always thought you would be my prince on a white horse. Little did I know, I was supposed to come and pick you up.”
  1. Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” ―Albert Einstein
  1. I would jump into a volcano for you. Just kidding, it’s too hot in there.”
  1. Things I love the most in this world: chocolate, dogs, cats, and you.”
  1. If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?” ―Lily Tomlin
  1. The only kind of fire not covered by insurance is my fire for you.”
  1. I know I am a handful, but that’s why you have two hands
  1. Women love a self-confident bald man.” ―Larry Bald
  1. Where love is the case, the doctor is an ass.” ―English Proverb
  1. When you’re with me, follow your heart. But do bring your brain along too.”
  1. Love isn’t complicated; it is the people in it.”
  1. I swear to stop wearing a baggy nightgown, the day you swear to stop brushing over me.
  1. I am yours, and you are mine. There are no refunds.
  1. It is hard to find dedicated, cute, caring, and sexy people these days. Take my advice for it; don’t lose me.”
  1. It’s fun to complain with someone. Nothing brings us together more than complaining about other people. That might be the thing that holds us together more than anything.” ―Lew Schneider
  1. I promise to annoy you every single day for the rest of our lives.
  1. I had a dream that I still loved you…I think I woke up screaming.” ―Christine
  1. Do you wanna commit a crime? You steal my heart, and I’ll steal yours.”
  1. Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.” ―Pauline Thomason
  1. A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt.” ―Rose Wilder Lane
  1. I would like to lodge a complaint against you for being too adorable.
  1. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m wearing the smile you brought into my life.”
  1. I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?” ―Jean Illsley Clarke
  1. Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.” ―Cathy Carlyle
  1. People should fall in love with their eyes closed.” ―Andy Warhol

Funny Quotes For Her

Love can be difficult to express. How about using these funny quotes to express your feelings to her?

  1. My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.” ―Rodney Dangerfield
  1. I can’t make you love me, but I can fill my pantry with your favorite snacks and offer you a weekly stipend of $75.” ―Rob Delaney
  1. You must be a camera cause you always make me smile.
  1. You must be a magician! Everything around me disappears when I see your goofy smile.”
  1. Stick with me because I’ll ruin your lipstick, not your mascara.”
  1. Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.” ―Richard Jeni
  1. You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” ―Dr. Seuss
  1. If she happens to fall, I’ll be there to laugh at first and then help her up afterwards.” ―J.A. Redmerski
  1. It wasn’t my intention to fall in love with you, but then you smiled.”
  1. Can you please look at me that way you look at food?
  1. I love you as much as I love my favorite team.
  1. I love the adorable things you do when you’re angry ― like not texting me back.”
  1. If love is a sweet dream, then marriage is an alarm clock.”
  1. My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.” ―Rodney Dangerfield
  1. Dear, when I say I would fix something, I do it. Please stop reminding me every six months.
  1. In any perfect relationship men should remember it’s a matter of direction; she takes what’s right and you take what’s left.” ―Solitaire Parke
  1. I promise to love you even during the playoffs.”
  1. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.” ―John Green, The Fault In Our Stars
  1. Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.” ―Natasha Leggero
  1. The great question which I have not been able to answer is, ‘What does a woman want?” ―Freud
  1. My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside Made in Taiwan!” ―Leopold Fechtner
  1. We pair as great as mac ‘N’ cheese.”
  1. He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle.” ―Ring Lardner
  1. I don’t need to know about the solar system cause my whole world revolves around you.”
  1. Finding you was as hard as finding a needle in a haystack.
  1. Yes, to the untrained eye, I’m eating an orange. But to the eye that has brains, I’m making a point about marriage. For you see, marriage is a lot like an orange. First, you have the skin. Then the sweet, sweet innards.” ―Homer, The Simpsons
  1. Are you made of Copper and Tellurium? Cause you’re CuTe
  1. Me falling in love with you more as each day passes must be the greatest miracle of all. I wish there were a traffic light to let me know when to stop.”
  1. You make my eyeglasses fog up.
  1. Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator.” ―Helen Gurley Brown
  1. My biggest achievements in life: sanity and you.”
  1. I love you so much that I’d jump off a cliff for you. Well, as long as they’re not too high, I’m acrophobic. Alright, maybe just a few stairs.
  1. Your license must be suspended for driving me crazy.”
  1. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.” ―Rhett Butler, Gone With The Wind
  1. I would fall for you even in zero gravity.”
  1. In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit or getting parked in the wrong place.” ―Helen Rowland
  1. You are my Wi-Fi for sure. Cause I feel a connection.”
  1. Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.” ―Joan Crawford
  1. Marriage is a great institution for those who like institutions.” ―Tommy Dewar
  1. You say you love chocolate cakes, but you cut them. You say you love chocolates, but then you melt them. You say you love me, and now I’m scared.
  1. Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.” ―George Carlin
  1. I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.” ―David Bissonette
  1. Besides my PlayStation, you are my favorite.”
  1. My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.” ―Jimmy Durante
  1. You are as important as oxygen to me.”
  1. We’re like Romeo & Juliet. Except for the dying part of course.”―Justina
  1. Love is not having to hold in your farts anymore.” ―Bree Luckey
  1. The more she turned right the more I turned wrong.” ―Mark W. Boyer
  1. In my house, I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision-maker.” ―Woody Allen
  1. Are you my map? Cause I get lost without you.”
  1. Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.” ―Oscar Wilde
  1. Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.” ―Jules Renard
  1. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” ―Henry Youngman
  1. Your absence is like an empty fridge.”
  1. Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry out the trash.” ―Joyce Brothers
  1. Our relationship is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park.”
  1. I think you owe me a drink cause the first time I met you, I dropped mine.”
  1. If you’re a bird, I’m a bird.” ―Nicholas Park, The Notebook
  1. The next time you’re mad, I’d put a cape around you and say, ‘Now you’re super mad.’”
  1. Your ability to turn a statement into a six-hour argument is what I love the most.”
  1. I love you enough to make our iOS and Android relationship work.”
  1. Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.” —Megan Mullally
  1. She makes the bass drop in my heart.” —The Good Place
  1. Your love made me a cook, poet, composer, artist, painter, mechanic, and whatnot!
  1. I think you have good taste. You fell in love with me.”
  1. A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.” —Charles Gordy
  1. When I look at you, I forget how to flirt.”
  1. I love you as much as I love my bed. Neither of you needs much commitment.
  1. I promise to love you forever. Even when the game is on.
  1. There must be millions of people all over the world who never get any love letters. I could be their leader.”- Charles M. Schulz
  1. Sometimes. Life gives you great things. So here I am.”
  1. I solemnly swear to love you, even when I’m hungry.”
  1. It’s like at that moment the whole universe existed just to bring us together.” —Serendipity
  1. I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.” —Steven Wright
  1. You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.” —Hussein Nishah
  1. Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.” —Judith Viorst
  1. I’m on my way to a hospital cause you just stole my heart.”
  1. I may not be a photographer, but I know we would make a great picture together.
  1. You belong in a museum cause you’re a work of art.
  1. Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So, each is inevitably disappointed.” —Albert Einstein
  1. Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.” —Lemony Snicket
  1. Our love might have been blind, but our marriage was an eye-opener. You love baby rhymes?
  1. I love you so much that I’d always order some extra fries during our dates.
  1. If love is blind, then how come I can see how pretty you look?
  1. I’d love you even if you love pineapples on pizza.”
  1. Met a genie the other day. Said you had three wishes. Well, I’m here now; what were the other two?
  1. Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” ―Phyllis Diller
  1. If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools.” —Katherine Mansfield
  1. God called. He’s missing an angel.”
  1. My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it’s missing, and what’s there stinks.” —Joan Rivers
  1. The day you said you loved Star Wars, I knew Yoda one for me.”
  1. Give me golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.” —Jack Benny
  1. If anyone says Disneyland is the happiest place in the world, they never met you.”
  1. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” —Groucho Marx
  1. Nothing lasts forever. I’d like to be your nothing.”
  1. Everytime you sneeze, I want to say ‘God bless you.’ But then I look at myself and realize that he already has.”
  1. There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.” —Chris Rock
  1. The happiest marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.” —Coleridge
  1. Not even Snape could Severus apart.”
  1. If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.” —Miles Davis
  1. Please let me walk you home. I have a passion for following my dreams.”

Love is a great feeling, especially when it involves you and your partner in a clash of puns. And humor has the power to heal and make relationships stronger. So, go ahead and text your partner these funny quotes and bring a smile to their face.