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Giving up on love is when you are not investing time or energy to save a relationship or seek love. ’A romantic relationship is a two-way street that involves mutual understanding, care, love, and respect.’ Most relationships begin on a happy-go-lucky note, and eventually, you may recognize that things are falling apart. When you are the only one trying to make the relationship work, you may question how long you can. This may often lead to the dilemma of whether to give up or not. However, if there is no input from your partner on your relationship, acknowledging the truth and moving forward is a better option than trying repeatedly. Read on to know more about giving up on your partner and when to move on with your head held high.
When To Give Up On Someone You Love?
Rough patches are a part of every relationship. When both the partners are ready to overcome ups and downs together, you can have a healthy relationship. But if it is only you, then you may have to taste the bitterness alone. If you relate to these signs, then maybe it is time to walk away and take care of yourself.
1. Too many fights
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When the disagreements between you and your significant other are never-ending and leading to more and more arguments, it could be a red flag of the relationship. Unresolved disputes may make you feel weary, which can lead to emotional stress. If you think you or your partner are fighting almost every day over silly reasons, then maybe you need to think about parting away.
2. Unfulfilled expectations
Every partner has certain needs or expectations in a good relationship. It could be emotional, physical, or financial. If your significant other is not trying to meet them even after you have communicated and waited for some time, you may feel disheartened by their behavior. There is no point waiting for them to change. Instead. reconsider your decision of being with them.
Point to consider3. One-way sacrifices
Sacrifices in a relationship are a good way to show you support your partner. But sacrifice should be from both the stakeholders in a relationship or it may make you feel lonely. If the sacrifices are only coming from your end, especially for major decisions, then probably it’s a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
4. Closed communication
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Open and transparent communication is the key to a healthy and rewarding relationship. But if you are hesitant or too scared of your partner to ask something or express your expectations, then the dissatisfaction may turn into a burden, which will leave you feeling defeated. If you are unable to confront your significant other and afraid to put out your deep feelings, then you may lose the stability in your relationship.
5. Breakup and patch up circle
Troubling and pampering each other looks charming in a romantic relationship. But in adult life, constant drifting and getting back together could become messy with time and lead to a joyless relationship. Such instances in a relationship could likely lead to hiatus and may compel you to doubt your partner and your bond.
6. Abusive relationship
Abuse, in any form, should not be tolerated in a relationship. Abuse can leave you crushed and broken. Remember that your partner is not allowed to isolate, control, scare, or hurt you, irrespective of the scenario. When you start recognizing those signs, you should consider it as a red flag that can suffocate you with time. Be mindful that leaving a relationship can be dangerous for you. So, plan it properly with the help of your friends and family.
7. Trust issues
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Do you feel your partner is lying to you? Or do you check their social media handle or phone often? It could be as a result of past experience (cheating or gaslighting). If that resentment continues for long, it could make the relationship toxic. Trust is one of the main pillars of any bond, and if that starts shaking, it can leave you feeling betrayed and make it difficult to move ahead.
Point to consider8. Incompatibility
It is okay to have differences. You may like to visit a museum, while your partner may want to watch a movie. But if your core values are different, and you both contradict in every aspect of life, then such an incompatibility may doom your relationship as one partner is most likely to feel neglected at some point.
Any of these signs are a red flag in a relationship, and that means you could give up on your partner. But you may have second thoughts about it. Would that be a mistake? Read further to know about it.
Giving Up On Love: Is It A Mistake?
Loving someone can never be wrong. But compromising, sacrificing, and carrying the entire load of the relationship all alone would be unacceptable. If you are in a relationship and still yearning for love, then the thought of ‘giving up on love’ must be troubling you. But why give up on love? Your partner failed to hold your hand and support you, even when you were always there for them. So instead of giving up on finding true love, give up on your partner and move on. Also, do not feel demoralized by a bad experience. Be hopeful that true love will find its way to you.
How To Give Up On Your Partner And Move On?
Giving up on your partner and working on yourself would help you heal. We have a few tips here.
1. Forgive your partner
‘Forgiveness says you are given another chance to make a new beginning.’
- Desmond Tutu
Your partner must have hurt your feelings and you may be feeling worn-out due to the experience. It must have been a painful experience for you. Forgetting whatever happened may not be possible, at least for some months. But you can try to forgive them. Be kind to yourself, and take a step forward to heal your wounds.
Point to consider2. Love yourself
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Sometimes, we blame ourselves for an unsuccessful relationship. But that would not help you recover. The right away to move on is by practicing self-love. Accept your flaws or mistakes, if any, in the relationship. Then remind yourself that you have done every possible thing to save your relationship, and it was not all your fault. Stop blaming and start loving yourself.
3. Cut off the ties
It is essential to separate yourself not only physically but also emotionally. Disconnecting from the fantasy bond is one of the essential steps of giving up on your partner. It could be difficult, but it will help you focus on yourself. Otherwise, that person might become your weakness, and their thoughts would always hover over your mind.
4. Experience the grief
Dissociation from your partner brings agony. You may have to go through the stages of denial, anger, isolation, depression, and then acceptance. You may be feeling abandoned and desolate. But, all through these stages, you have to accept grief. Don’t try to hide your feelings and emotions. The more you do, the more difficult it becomes to give up. Accept your pain and help yourself in the recovery process.
5. Don’t rush
The heartbreak is painful. You need to give yourself time as an essential step in the healing process. Remember, there are no quick fixes for the matters of the heart. It’s okay if you take weeks or months; don’t work in haste.
6. Live your life
You may take baby steps and make plans. Invest your energy and time in activities you like to do. Distract yourself from the thoughts of the past and use the time to work on yourself. Indulge in the hobby that you left, talk to your friends, go on a vacation, and live your life without depending on anyone else.
7. Establish a routine
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Fix a daily routine for yourself. I would start working out in the morning. I would cook a healthy meal for my dinner. I would go for a walk during weekends. I would spend time with my family once a week. These little things are a part of the self-motivation that you require to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Stephanie St.Claire, a writer, shares how establishing a routine to take some time out and relax by just breathing can be beneficial. She says, “I use Headspace and listen to one of the sound casts (like the laundromat or the car ride). When I’m in a super sad or fearful state, I don’t listen to guided meditations because I’m not in a place to have someone direct me.”
She highlights how taking time out to go on a solo drive to Silverado Canyon further calms her down. She adds, “I take a drive through Silverado Canyon and listen to podcasts. I do not listen to music when I’m super down or anxious because songs swing me by the emotional tail and splice in a soundtrack for my already-heightened sensitivities. Podcasts (or audible books) give my mind conversations to anchor to (i).”
8. Seek professional help
Sometimes, controlling emotions could be too tough. In such a case, you may require support from outside. If you are unable to open up to your family or friends, you may talk to a therapist. They can help you cope with your emotions, solve your mental issues, and change your daily habits. There’s no harm in opening up to a professional. Try it and find a positive difference in your life.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Is it okay to give up on love?
Yes. If you have tried your best to save your relationship from falling apart and think you are better off without them, you may give up on love. Holding on to toxicity will take a toll on you, and it is better to let go of your feelings for your overall well-being.
2. Why is giving up on love so hard?
Love is all we need, and giving up on love can lead to depression, stress, and anxiety. Parting ways with someone you love and have shared beautiful memories with can create a void in your life that can’t be filled easily.
3. Why do people give up on love?
People give up on love for various reasons, such as experiencing disappointments, heartbreaks, or painful relationships. Additionally, some prioritize personal growth, career, or other aspects of their lives over romantic relationships. However, It’s important to recognize that giving up on love is a deeply personal decision, and individuals may have different reasons for doing so.
4. Can I truly give up on love, or is it something that will always be a part of the human experience?
The idea of giving up on love is unique for each person. Some individuals may distance themselves from romantic love or relationships, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that love will disappear from their lives altogether. Even if they temporarily feel disappointed and give up on love, they may reconsider their decision due to circumstances, personal growth, or unexpected encounters.
5. What are the potential consequences of giving up on love?
Giving up on love may impact one’s emotional and psychological well-being, leading to sadness, dissatisfaction, and emotional disconnection from others. They might miss the opportunity to experience the support, understanding, and shared experiences that can enhance their overall quality of life.
6. How can societal expectations contribute to the feeling of wanting to give up on love?
Society often promotes certain ideals and expectations regarding romantic relationships, such as finding ‘the right one,’ getting married, and living happily ever after. These narratives can pressure individuals to conform to these ideals, leading to feelings of inadequacy or disappointment if their experiences do not align with societal expectations.
7. Are there any benefits to giving up on love, such as increased independence or freedom?
While deciding to give up on love is subjective and depends on individual circumstances, there can be potential benefits to embracing a life out of a negative relationship. Some benefits include increased independence, freedom to prioritize other aspects of life, reduced emotional vulnerability, autonomy in decision-making, and avoidance of relationship conflicts.
When you’re the only one trying to make the relationship work, have too many fights, closed communication, trust issues, and other problems, know that it can be the end of the relationship. All of your efforts would be in vain, and you would have no choice but to give up on love. However, keep in mind that giving up does not mean losing faith in love. Instead, it entails separating yourself from your lover to concentrate and work on your personal goals. Following a few helpful tips, like practicing self-love, accepting your sorrow, allowing enough time to recuperate, and so on, may help you move on from your partner.
Infographic: Why You Shouldn’t Give Up On The Feeling Of Love
A bitter relationship can leave you feeling hopeless and make you detest love. But know that it is not the feeling but the wrong person you fell for who is responsible for it. So before you completely give up on love and decide never to fall for someone again, explore what you may be losing by letting go of this magical and healing emotion. Illustration: Momjunction Design Team
Key Pointers
- If your fights outnumber your joyful times together, it might be time to let go of your partner.
- Trust issues and lack of open communication could only make the relationship more toxic.
- Always remember that loving yourself and embracing your life will give you a sense of closure.
Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team
Personal Experience: Source
MomJunction articles include first-hand experiences to provide you with better insights through real-life narratives. Here are the sources of personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. How to pick yourself up when life is falling apart and you’re not coping well;https://stephstclaire.medium.com/how-to-pick-yourself-up-when-life-is-falling-apart-and-youre-not-coping-well-4ebdaaef61d9
