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Ask me how I would describe pregnancy. ‘A total hangover’ is my answer. “Geez, does pregnancy give you the same high as when you are inebriated?” If men out there think so, you are not entirely right. There are episodes of pregnancy that are similar to a hangover from binge drinking. Some of them are these:
1. A Faltered Memory
Gosh, you are just a little short of Alzheimer’s! Dare not ask a pregnant woman where she stacked up those pair of gloves – just as much as you don’t want to ask a hungover person why he said what he said or why he did what he did.
2. Go Rooney, Go!
Your exhilaration at a sports bar will be at an all-time high. Suddenly you become a chauvinist of a player – to the extent that you will fight at the till, to see your fav man score the next big goal. Women with not an obvious bump will get away with all the cheering.
3. Being Empty-Stomach Is A Killer Thing
The soaring appetite with a growing belly (don’t read beer-belly) makes you lay your hands on whatever foods you can get first hand. Being empty stomach otherwise is equivalent to puking out water during pregnancy.You actually do that! You snack when you go binge drinking. You know why, you don’t want to puke out liquor. Remember the days when you were at uni? Recall your fellas hooting for crates of chips. (Wished buckets of French Fries were just as allowed during pregnancy). But anything less than that will keep your gastric parts whirring.
4. You Are Thirsty All The Time
Water seems like an elixir, true to its metaphor, this time around. You are ready to gulp down gallons during pregnancy. And after a binge drink, you crave for our very H2O like you craved for your hard drink. Go for it then! Water flushes out the toxins from your body, rehydrates you. Your cottonmouth will not fancy anything better than water at these times.
5. You Will Be Weeping
You are ready to break down for all the things that are at their biggest insignificance – both when you are pregnant (give the credits to your hormones) and while drunk (thanks to losing your sobriety). And you will have a handful men of masses offering a shoulder to cry on or arms to carry you to your haven. Bless pregnancy! Bless the vodka nights!
6. You Will Be Childlike
Narcissism will be at a high. And so will be your tantrums. Any good samaritans to handle this part?
7. No Driving
Your child might be kicking inside you in advanced stages. Don’t kick him back in an attempt to drive your car. No driving during pregnancy means no driving – especially during the third trimester. Needless asking about drunk driving. Think statutory laws. Someone must be capturing your snaky rides already.
8. Excessive Talking
Blabbering just gets hilarious. When pregnant, you just seem to get a bit overboard. Sometimes you show signs of wisdom, other times you seem to think so unlike you. When drunk, your conversation with the walls gets a bit remarkable.
9. You Will Hate That Man
You will dislike that man who impregnated you (even if it is your spouse) – just as much as those drinking buddies who detest their companions after their party time is over.
10. You Love Your Naps
A drool will grow into a long blissful lull towards the climax – typical during pregnancy and binge drinking. Who wants cares after all! Can’t be bothered anymore:)
Now, over to the women out there. Just how many of you can identify yourself with these? Write us back!
