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Can we all agree that mothers-in-law essentially come from a good place? But, these pure-hearted souls can also act a little difficult sometimes. And, this can happen more so often when it comes to their grandchildren. During pregnancy, you will find them advising you about the tiniest of things, from your diet to the name you choose for your little one. And, once the grandchildren are in the picture, the mothers-in-law become overly concerned about them. This concern, however, leads them to cross certain boundaries at times. That is why you need to step in and help them understand their role during the course of your pregnancy and the upbringing of your child. We realize that doing this is not so easy. Here, at MomJunction, we bring you some tips that might help you with just this:
1. Don’t Drag Your Beloved Husband In Between
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First and foremost, you need to understand that you can’t make your husband choose between the two of you. This is perhaps the worst position that you can put him in. Rather, try and sort out the problem on your own. While you can ask your significant other for suggestions, don’t make him fight your battle. And, if your mother-in-law drags him in between, ask him not to get involved as it will only hurt him in the end.
2. Involve Her In The Pregnancy But On Your Terms
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Truth be told, all mothers-in-law want is to be a part of the pregnancy so that she can relive her motherhood days all over again. And, when you become old, you might eventually do the same, even without realizing it. So, it is alright if you let her enjoy these beautiful moments. But, make sure that you are genuinely okay with her being a part of the pregnancy and subsequent motherhood.
3. Communicate With Her
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Keeping your emotions and feelings to yourself can do more harm than good. Until you have a conversation with the person who has hurt you, you will not know where they are coming from. So, talk to your mother-in-law and tell her why you felt bad about a particular thing. Then, let her explain her side of the story without any interruptions. You might not believe this right now but it can help improve the situation to a great extent. And, if you build a great rapport with her, she will also help you when a crisis arises.
4. Be Patient
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Of course, there are going to be times when your mother-in-law might get on your nerves. And, being patient can become tricky during pregnancy with your hormones being all over the place. But, it is always better to be patient than saying or doing things, which can cause irreparable damage to the relationship you share with your mother-in-law. So, maintain your calm and be assertive but not aggressive in your conversations.
5. Take Her For Some Of The Doctor Visits
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The best way to make your mother-in-law feel included is to bring her in for some of the doctor visits. This might also steer her away from meddling in some of your affairs. Listening to her grandchild’s heartbeats and understanding how he/she is fairing will be enough to keep her happy. And, once she hears the doc giving you suggestions that she wants to share with you, she will not feel the need to.
Of course, the relationship you share with your mother-in-law is always going to be a little complicated. But, making an effort to bridge the gap can make all the difference. Give a fair shot to some of these tips and see how it works for you. And, feel free to share your experience with us in the comments section below!
