15 Signs He Is Not Ready For A Relationship & What To Do

Image: Shutterstock


You may be dating this sweet, charming guy who seems to be the “perfect one” you have been waiting for all these years. But when you talk about the future with him, he seems to dodge the conversation. It’s apparent he is not ready for a relationship, but why?

Some men can be difficult to understand. They may make you feel like the most special woman in the world, but then when it comes to committing, they go into hiding. They behave so indifferently that doubting their intentions becomes inevitable. Are you dealing with a man who leaves you clueless when it comes to commitment?

Read this post as we reveal some signs that the man you are dating isn’t ready for a relationship with you, some probable reasons for his hesitation, and what to do if he seems too indifferent.

15 Signs He Is Not Ready For An Actual Relationship

How to tell if a man is serious about a relationship with you? If he exhibits the following signs, it means he is unwilling to be in a real relationship.

  1. He won’t commit: You cannot expect a man to commit after just a few dates. But if you have been together for months and are totally into each other, it is natural to give your relationship a name. But if he is unwilling to commit even after months of serious dating, then it is quite clear that he has no intention of getting into a real relationship with you.
  1. He gets angry discussing your relationship: Each time you broach the topic of your future together, he either changes the topic or gets angry and blames you for spoiling his mood by bringing up ‘that’ topic. If this has happened to you in the past, know that he hates ‘the topic’ because he has no intention of committing to you.
  1. He speaks one thing but does something else: Some men may have a sugar-coated tongue. They may have absolutely no qualms about leading you on and promising you lots of love. But the clear giveaway with such men is that their actions never support their words. They will assure you of something but will never follow it up. If your man has always been like this, then know that he is not serious about the relationship.
  1. He does not consider you his priority: You will reshuffle your entire schedule and cancel all prior appointments just to be able to meet him even for a short while. But he does not do the same. For him, everything else comes first and is the top priority. It is fine in essential cases. However, if he remembers you only when he has nothing better to do, then you are nothing but a source of entertainment for him.
  1. He does not include you in his future plans: This guy may be ambitious and may have big dreams of working hard and achieving greatnessin life. He might share his life-plan with you, but he does not mention your role anywhere in his future. You feature nowhere in his future plans. All his plans are for himself and maybe his family but never for you.
  1. He compliments for the heck of it: When a guy is in love, he will notice even small changes in his lady love’s appearance and will even compliment her for the same. However, if all your guy has to say is that ‘you look great’ or ‘it’s looking nice,’it means he is saying it just to keep you happy, and he does not truly mean it.
  1. He never makes up after a fight:You are always first to make up after a fight or an argument. It does not matter whose fault it was, you will be the one to let go of it because you know that if you don’t, he never will. Itis because he is not really serious about you and would not go through the trouble of admitting his mistake.
  1. He shows no interest in knowing you: Maybe, at the beginning of your relationship,he must have asked you a ton of questions hoping to know you better. But as time went by, the relationship became more about him, his life, his work, his family, and so on. He never asks you about your day and your life. When you speak anything about yourself, he does not even feign interest.
  1. He knows nothing about you: He may not ask you about your life often, but he does not even rememberthe things you tell about yourself. For example, you may have told him about your love for your dog. But when he meets your dog, he has no recollection of you even mentioning your dog. Things are worse when he does not even remember your birthday or your favorite food.
  1. He hides a lot from you: You notice his phone buzzing constantly, and he keeps thanking people on the phone. After many requests, he finally reveals the news of his promotion to you, when you should have been one of the first people to learn about it. If he has started to keep important things from you, it is a clear sign that he is not keen on developing a serious relationship.
  1. He says he is not ready for it: You may give him all the space and time he needs to make a decision, but he will still never be ready for it. You may think that if you are nice to him and put up with his lack of commitment, he might agree to a relationship. But it will never happen since he was never ready for it in the first place.
  1. He is still in touch with his ex: He may tell you that he and his ex are still friends, but you see him chatting with her all the time. He even makes no effort to hide it from you. In fact, he might even talk about his ex and how they have been getting along well. He doesn’t care that it hurts you to see him bond with his ex.
  1. He has not introduced you to his friends: When a man is sure of his woman, he will introduce her to his friends and family. If he hasn’t done that with you yet, then it means he is still not sure about you. He may see you as a passing affair and not someone with whom he can consider spending the rest of his life.
  1. He hardly spends time with you: He may be busy with his work, which is a good thing that he is doing well in life. But whenever he gets free time, he is not with you. In fact, you don’t even know where he is most of the time. He does not tell you his whereabouts and does not even spend time with you. He is almost always unavailable for you.
  1. You just know he isn’t into it: Lastly, your intuition is screaming at you that something is wrong and that this guy isn’t right for you. He may not say it aloud, but his behavior and vibe are more than enough for you to be sure that he is not the real deal. If your intuition is strong about this, then you must listen to it and stop expecting anything long-term with him.

Reasons Why He May Not Be Ready For A Relationship

If your man has been showing the above-mentioned signs, it means he is not ready for a real relationship. Now, let’s try to understand the possible reasons why he is unwilling to commit to you.

  1. He doesn’t know what he wants: Does your guy go hot and cold too often? If yes, then it probably means that he is not sure of what he wants. One moment he thinks you are the one for him, the other moment, he fears he is making a mistake. This confusion trickles into his behavior, and he is unable to commit to you.
  1. He is waiting for someone better: If he is still with you but still non-committed, it means he iswaiting to find someone better. If he does not come across someone better than you, he knows you are always there as his backup. He will not commit unless he is fully sure that he can get no one better than you.
  1. He is still playing the field: You are probably unaware that your guy is still active on dating apps and wants to explore his options before settling for you. He may commit to you, but not now. He feels that he can go around being single and available untilhe feels that he had enough, and it is time to have a spouse.
  1. He is currently committed to his work: He wants to commit to you, but he really needs more time with his work/job. Right now, he may be completely focused on getting his career on track and does not want to be distracted. Once he gets to where he wants to be in his career, he will probably be the first one to ask you for a real relationship.
  1. He has been hurt in the past: It could be that his past relationships have hurt him so much that he has turned commitment-phobic. He may love you, but his fears and insecurities keep him from committing to you. He may be scared that if he gets too involved in a relationship, it might hurt him eventually.
  1. He suffers from low self-esteem: Heprobably is not confident of himself enough to make any kind of a commitment to you. He is probably unhappy with himself and struggles to feel confident. His constant struggle with his self-image makes it difficult for him to get into a real relationship.
  1. He needs more time: Sometimes, the reason he is not ready for a real relationship could be simpler than you think, and it is that he needs more time. If you strongly sense he loves you but is still not committing, it could be that he needs more time due to other life commitments or simply because he likes taking things slow.

What To Do When He Is Not Ready For A Real Relationship?

You probably understand why your man won’t get into a real relationship with you, but it does not dull your heartache. Here is what you can do when he is not ready for a real relationship.

  1. Talk to him: You may be scared of broaching the topic, but remember it is now or never. So, look for when he seems in a mood to talk and share your feelings with him. Do not leave anything to assumptions. Speak to him clearly, so you know preciselyif your relationship has a future or not.
  1. Walk away from him: If nothing seems to work, then walking away from the guy is the best thing to do for your own good. Share your decision with him; if he really loves you,he will not let you go. If he does not protest, then know that he was never interested in you, and you should be glad you ended the relationship.
  1. Forgive yourself and him: A failed relationship is likely to make you bitter. Though it is okay to feel bad and be angry, do not hold on to resentment. Instead, forgive yourself and him. Be grateful for the experience and move on with the hope of finding your soulmate.
  1. Accept the reality: There could be times when you think of all the moments you spent together and find it hard to accept the current situation. However, try to see things the way they are in the present. You may feel your world crashing, but remember the feeling is temporary. The faster you accept the reality, the faster you heal.
  1. Move on in life: Thanks to social media, we can keep a tab on almost anyone’s life, and you may be tempted to check his life through his social media pages. This habit of stalking is toxic and will hamper your chances of healing. Make a firm decision to never check him out on social media, even if it means temporarily disabling your social media accounts to stop yourself from succumbing to the temptation.

Knowing the signs that he is not ready for a relationship could help you avoid expectations and disappointments. For example, a man who feels annoyed discussing the relationship is less likely to enter into a committed relationship. Not considering you as his priority, never giving compliments, and not including you in his plans are some signs that may indicate his unwillingness to enter into a relationship with you. Men who do not want commitments may also hesitate to introduce you to their friends and family. So, look out for these signs and save yourself from heartbreak.

Key Pointers

  • He dislikes discussing your future together, doesn’t prioritize your needs, or may not be ready for an actual relationship.
  • He does not know what he wants, has low self-esteem, or needs more time to think.
  • You can deal with this situation by talking to him or accepting the reality and moving on.

The following two tabs change content below.

Ratika Pai

Ratika has experience writing in various fields including finance, education, lifestyle, and entertainment. After her masters degree in Commerce, she acquired a PG Diploma in Communication and Journalism from Mumbai University. She is inquisitive about human relationships and likes to study people and how they manage their relationships, during her freetime. At MomJunction, Ratika writes insightful and informative articles on... more