How Often Should You Text A Girl To Keep Her Interested?

Image: Shutterstock

You like a girl and want to get close to her. Also, you want to talk to her and bring your ‘A’ game to impress her. But are you not sure how often should you text a girl to keep her interested?

Online conversations may seem easy because you get time to construct and mull over a message before sending it. However, deciding the timing of a message is crucial and can make or break your game. You have to be mindful of when and how many times you send a message to a girl.

Texting her too often can annoy her, while taking too long to reply can make her lose interest in you. Let’s find a middle way and have a look at how often you should text a girl to retain her interest.

How Often Should You Text A Girl To Keep Her Interested?

The timing and frequency of your messages depend upon your relationship with the girl. Here are a few tips based on how long you know her.

  • Tinder match: If you have started interacting with a girl online or on a dating app, then you need to keep your interactions limited until you meet her in person. Bombarding her inbox with your texts can make you look desperate while disappearing on her after a couple of messages will ruin your chance of ever meeting her. Instead, text her an interesting opening line and wait for her reply. Continue the conversation as per her response. Do not double text to get a reaction from her.
  • New acquaintance: Do not fall for the ‘three-day rule’ to message a girl you have just met. If you are interested in her, message her the same day after a couple of hours of receiving her number. Do not make her wait too long or else she might think you are playing games with her. Also, do not worry as it won’t make you look desperate but will give her a clear sign that you are interested in her.
  • Initial dating: During the initial dating phase, you are likely to be excited and may want to text her and talk to her all day long. It is fine as long as you do not overdo it. If the conversation is flowing, reply as and when you can. Do not reply right away, and do not delay your response. Reply within an hour at least or else she might feel you are too busy to give her attention.
  • After the date: If your date went well and you would like to go on another date, message a couple of hours after the date or the next day itself. Do not wait beyond a day. Also, do not act pricey. Keep it simple. Start the message by telling her how much you enjoyed the date and ask her if she would like to go on a second date with you. Or you can also suggest a place and ask her if she would like to go with you.
  • Dating for a while: When you are in a relationship and understand your girl, then you can gauge the number of messages you send depending on her reaction. If she loves texting, indulge her with timely responses to her texts. If she is not much into texting, follow her and text only a couple of times a day.

15 Tips On How You Should And Shouldn’t Text Her

Apart from the timing and frequency, there are some etiquettes and points you need to keep in mind when texting a girl.

Dos To Follow When Texting A Girl

Here are some points to keep in mind.

  1. When texting her for the first time or just after a date, mention her name in the message. Failing to mention her name might make her feel you forgot her name. Also, if you gave her a nickname on the date, you can use that, provided the nickname is one she approves of.
  1. Keep a gap of at least 10 to 15 minutes between your replies and occasionally extend it to an hour. Try to keep the responses within an hour or two. It is okay to make her wait for your reply, but do not frustrate her too much, or she might lose interest.
  1. If you haven’t met this girl yet, wait before you ask her out on a date. Observe your conversations and ask her for a date only when you feel she is comfortable enough with you and may not decline the suggestion.
  1. When you are not sure of how to text her, copy her texting style. For example, if she replies in an hour, you too reply in an hour. If she sends you two texts in a day, you too send her two texts in a day. If her messages are one-liners, restrict your replies to single lines. But do these only in the initial stages of dating or until you understand her better.
  1. Some women love being flattered, but only to a specific limit. If you shower her with incessant compliments, she is certain to roll her eyes and dismiss you for trying to butter her up. So, when you compliment, ensure it is genuine and rare.
  1. Keep your texts short and to the point. Do not get into too many details when she asks you something. For instance, if she asks you, ‘What have you been up to lately?’ and if your answer is a detailed description of how you have been spending each day working on a new project, know that she may not reply.

Don’ts To Remember When Texting A Girl

Here are some don’ts you should remember.

  1. Do not text too quickly when you first receive her message. You must be anxious and nervous, but try to distract yourself or keep yourself busy. Replying instantly gives her a hint that you were eagerly waiting for her message and have nothing else to do apart from thinking about her.
  1. If on your last date, something funny happened, and you both had a good laugh, mention that funny incident after the date to make her smile. But do not drag it too much. Repeating the same incident or joke more than once ruins the fun and eventually gets annoying.
  1. If you want her to take an interest in you, refrain from sending general messages such as ‘Hi’ or ‘What’s up?’ Try to come up with something different that will compel her to reply to you. Try an opening line that is interesting enough for her to appreciate your effort behind the unique message.
  1. Do not ever send her your bare-chested photos. You may have worked hard on your body, but that does not mean you have to force her to see it. Any unwarranted skin show will tell her you are a creep, and she will block you the very next moment. So, be patient and avoid sending revealing images of yourself.
  1. No matter how well you get along with her or how tempting it gets, do not jump onto sexting right away. At least not until you have met over a couple of dates and are extremely comfortable with each other.
  1. Do not send her texts in lazy SMS language where you shorten words unnecessarily. Words such as ‘5n’, ‘gr8’, ‘2day’, and so on should be avoided at all costs. Write complete words and check your grammar before sending it to her. The last thing you’d want is to get dismissed for poor texting skills.
  1. Being friend-zoned is a threat that looms large on those who waste a lot of time in idle talk. You can start by being her friend, but make your intentions clear eventually. Give her a cute nickname or tease her for her innocent quirks. If you stick to general questions such as ‘how are you?’ or ‘what are you doing?’ she might feel bored to reply to you after a point. Instead, ask, ‘How are you? My day went really bad because of a goof-up at work. I hope yours is going better than mine.’ Add something different that will make her reply to you.
  1. If you want her to like you back, limit the number of questions you ask her. Yes, you may only be trying to get to know her better, but frequent questioning makes anyone feel as if they are being interrogated. So, make a rule of asking only one or two questions per day.
  1. Do not double text her. No matter how desperate you feel to talk to her, do not spam her inbox, hoping she will react to you. If she doesn’t reply, then do not get angry and accuse her unnecessarily. Respect her decision, and do not coax her to talk to you.

If you are looking for a date, then you need to hone your texting skills. Your ability to text says a lot about you and can help you impress the girl you like. Do not feel nervous and follow the tips mentioned above, and you will be good to go. Do not feel disheartened if a girl you like does not respond to you. Keep practicing, and eventually, you will be able to win over a girl.