When Oliver Barrett apologizes to Jennifer Cavalleri in Eric Segal’s romantic comedy Love Story, she tells him, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” This memorable line has become a hit. However, true love also entails apologizing when you offend your girlfriend.
When you fight with your girlfriend, you feel like you’re stranded at sea or in a desert, and if you do not let go of your ego and swallow your pride, the relationship can go sour. A willingness to apologize for reconciliation is a sign of a good relationship. Unfortunately, we often fail to apologize, and as a result, relationships remain cold and distant.
Thus, if you are looking for ways to apologize to your girlfriend and become an amazing boyfriend, check out the tips given below.
24 Ways To Apologize To Your Girlfriend
A sincere apology is a decisive first step toward healing hurt feelings and mending a broken relationship. So, if you’re stuck on how to apologize to your girlfriend, here are some effective ways.
1. Understand why she’s upset
When apologizing to your girlfriend, be specific about the reason. You could have, for example, insulted or embarrassed her in front of her friends. You could say, “I’ve realized that I’ve hurt you at the dinner party. It’s entirely my fault. I feel ashamed and embarrassed of what I have done.” Recognizing your offending behavior and demonstrating that you understand your mistake can speed up the healing process.
2. Acknowledge her feelings
There are no alternatives to acknowledging her emotions. Therefore, acknowledge that you respect how she feels. Understand what your girlfriend must be feeling as a result of what you said or did. First, consider whether you’re apologizing because your girlfriend expects you to or because you believe she’s been truly hurt and it’s the right thing to do. Begin by saying, “I was wrong, and I am sorry,” but never, ever say, “I am sorry that you believe I was wrong” or “If you were hurt at what I said, I’m sorry.” All your girlfriend wants to hear you say is, “I know you’re upset, and you have every right to be.”
3. Admit your faults to her
Accept responsibility for offending your girlfriend and refuse to make excuses for your words or actions. Instead, recognize your mistakes if you genuinely want to make things better and inform your girlfriend that you are aware of the consequences of your actions. When apologizing to your girlfriend, admit your faults and don’t hold back. For example, you can say, “I deeply regret causing you pain. I know it wasn’t easy for you to bear my improper behavior.”
4. Be truthful to her
When you apologize to your girlfriend, you should do so because you genuinely care about her. Your words must be genuine and sincere. Do not apologize if you see it as a means to an end, and do not use an apology to protect or improve your image. Be truthful to yourself and your girlfriend about why you want to apologize.
5. Talk to her
If possible, apologize in person. If you have done or said something hurtful to your girlfriend, sit down and talk it out. Have a long and serious conversation with your girlfriend and discuss your steps to prevent it from happening again. When apologizing to your girlfriend in person, use a soft voice and maintain your cool throughout the conversation. Also, listen to her and do not interrupt or speak over her.
6. Make eye contact with her
You may not express yourself verbally, but your body language, tone, and eye contact reveal how you feel about something. Thus, keep a close eye on your body language when you meet her to convey your apologies. For example, would they believe you meant it if you apologized to her while looking at your phone? Look her in the eyes and apologize for causing her distress.
7. Call or text her
The best way to apologize to your girlfriend is to do it in person. However, if you are in a long-distance relationship, you can apologize via Skype, email, or text.
8. Listen to her
Patience always pays off, especially when combined with active listening. Active listening will demonstrate to her that you genuinely value her viewpoint. Listen to her without interrupting and avoid defending yourself or diminishing her point of view. When you listen attentively to your girlfriend’s perspective, you create a safe space for her to express herself, and she will feel understood and loved.
9. Say sorry to her without using the word “but”
When apologizing to your girlfriend, avoid justifying your mistakes, and choose your words carefully. Do not follow “I’m sorry” with a “but.” If you say, “I’m sorry, but you were the one who started it,” you’re offering an apology with a caveat. The word “but” implies justification and does not convey remorse for your actions or express empathy for your girlfriend’s feelings.
10. Tell her you won’t repeat it
Saying “I’m sorry” is simple. We sometimes say sorry to make ourselves feel less guilty or remorseful about a situation, and perhaps your apology is just a ruse to get out of the current situation. Saying “I’m sorry” without genuine regret for what you’ve done or said is meaningless because there’s no guarantee you won’t do it again.
Your actions should back up your words. Tell your girlfriend that you realized what you did was wrong and that you will do everything possible to avoid making the same mistake again. If you are sorry for what you’ve done, you must make choices keeping her interests in mind.
11. Seek her advice
While assuring your girlfriend that you will not repeat your previous mistakes, it is also wise to seek her advice on how you can resolve the situation. You could ask, “Let me know if there is anything I can do to make amends or make things right?” This approach is inclusive, positive, and reassuring. Seeking her advice is essential for re-establishing trust and repairing the relationship.
12. Give her space
When apologizing to your girlfriend, keep your emotions and feelings in check, and do not force her to forgive you. Instead, allow your girlfriend the space and time she requires until she is ready to forgive and accept you back. Allowing your girlfriend enough time to recover from emotional pain can lead to a healthier relationship once all issues have been resolved.
13. Surprise her with a night out
Another way to apologize to your girlfriend is to surprise her with a night out or a candlelit dinner. If your girlfriend can have fun with you on a night out, she may feel better about the situation, and there is a strong possibility that she may accept your apology.
14. Give her a gift
Receiving gifts is one of the love languages. If you want to make amends for your actions and receiving gifts is one of your girlfriend’s love languages, give her a beautiful bouquet, her favorite dessert, an assortment of cookies, a box of Swiss chocolates, or a cuddly teddy bear with an “I’m sorry” card. You can also ease the tension and break the ice with a customized greeting card with the message, “I am willing to listen to your feelings because I care about you and believe we can work this out.”
15. Write to her
Writing an apology letter may help emphasize your sincerity. It’s straightforward, honest, and direct, and most importantly, it is effective. Because your girlfriend can read it repeatedly, putting your apology in writing may give it more emotional weight.
Writing can also help you clarify and verbalize your regrets in a positive way. For example, in the letter, you could say, “I know that I hurt you deeply, and that causes me immense pain. I never intended to hurt you, but I realized that my words were out of line. I’m sorry for being insensitive and inconsiderate.”
16. Write a poem to her
Try your hand at verse because poems are the most romantic way to express yourself to your girlfriend. Rather than feeling resentful, sit down and write words of love to show your girlfriend how much you care. And then, there is a chance that your girlfriend will approach you in an accepting manner.
17. Spend quality time with her
Nothing conveys an apology more deeply than spending quality time with her. Always remember that giving your undivided attention to your girlfriend communicates that you love her and that your apology is sincere.
18. Cook for her
The way to a person’s heart is through their stomach, and your girlfriend will undoubtedly appreciate the time and effort you put into cooking for her. You don’t have to be a chef to make a simple meal special for her. A beautifully baked cake or entrée salad made with greens, veggies, fruits, meat or cheese, nuts, and other ingredients can be impressive. In addition, an apology message can help you win your girlfriend’s forgiveness.
19. Give her a massage
If you want to get back into your girlfriend’s good graces, this is the perfect option. But, of course, it all depends on whether she agrees to let you give her a gentle massage. If she does, light her favorite scented candles, place your hands on her shoulders, and gently massage her with the best massage oils. The rest is pure magic.
20. Give her a photo collage
If you are in a relationship with your girlfriend for a year or more, chances are you have a collection of photos of the two of you on your mobile phone. Consider making a thoughtful photo collage to show your girlfriend that you truly regret what happened. Choose a wrapping paper that matches your girlfriend’s favorite color and include an apology note. Then, when you restore your relationship and get together, you will both remember it for the rest of your lives.
21. Tell her how much you miss her
A genuine apology can soften even the hardest heart. Expressing how much you miss your partner is an essential part of making a sincere apology to her. For example, you could say, “I dearly miss you; give me another chance” or “I’m sorry for breaking the heart of a wonderful person like you.”
22. Tell her she is important to you
Tell her how much she means to you if you’re at a loss for words when apologizing. She wants you to think of her as the most important person in the world. Place a brief note in her handbag, cupboard, or table, or anywhere else she is likely to find them.
23. Give her a kiss
What could be more tender and genuine than a kiss? A peck on the cheek can work its magic and melt your girlfriend’s heart. So, give wings to your words and let them fly to your partner’s heart through a kiss.
24. Apologize to her publicly
Accepting your mistake and publicly apologizing requires a great deal of courage because you must completely surrender your ego and swallow your pride. Your girlfriend may develop respect and trust you if you apologize in front of her most trusted friends.
It may be difficult to forgive yourself after causing hurt and pain to your girlfriend. However, just as you must forgive your girlfriend, you must also forgive yourself. Remember that to keep the magic of love alive, you must be adaptable and flexible, and more importantly, understand the significance of apologizing to your girlfriend.