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You love the way he talks and smiles. His looks, walking style, and attitude work like magic on you. And now all you want is to spend time with him but don’t know how to ask a guy out. Sounds sad, right? No, it isn’t when we have got you covered.
Here we bring you a list of unique and interesting ways to ask a guy out. Following these tips and tricks might feel difficult initially, but they are simple and effective. So, corner the fear of rejection or losing a friend you have started developing feelings for. Just wear your confidence to take your secret or not-so-secret admiration to the next level.
Key Pointers
- Initially, the thought of asking a guy out can be nerve-wracking. Nonetheless, there are certain adorable ways to make this task simple and appealing.
- Be sure to know his interests and choose the right time and place to try some cute ways to ask him out.
- You may try introducing yourself through a common friend or even communicate your feelings directly.
21 Ways To Ask A Guy Out
It may seem difficult initially, but it is simple to ask a guy out. If you learn how to tell a guy that you like him, asking him out should be a cakewalk. California-based relationship coach Nancy Landrum says, “Be honest in expressing your interest. If you’re interested in dating him, ask if the interest is reciprocated. If not, walk away.” Here are a few ways that make it easy for you.
An anonymous single mother writes about how she decided to ask men out after she and her friends decided to try out a Facebook group’s ‘September is Take A Man Out On A Date month’ challenge. She says, “While it’s a bit of a mouthful, I and some friends tried this last year. It was so much fun that we’ve done it two more times since and are planning another one for the end of the month. And you know what? While some of us have been turned down, and asking someone even for a lighthearted evening with friends can still be nerve-wracking, the feedback from all involved has only been positive.
“Okay, so it’s been hard to do, but the dates have been really fun. And more than worth it. Our dates were simple, the good part was each other’s company. We didn’t quite make it in September, so we started in October… Some of us were turned down, but we rebounded and asked someone else. There was a risk that we might ask out a guy who doesn’t want to be asked out by a woman, but as far as we could tell, that didn’t happen… We got to know our dates and everyone else out on the date better than we would have. It wasn’t necessarily a group of people who would have ended up being thrown together under different circumstances, which made it fun (i).”
If you are looking for practical tips to ask a guy out, here are a few ways to make it easy for you.
1. Text innocent messages
Asking in person can be scary for some, so why not ask him over a sweet text? Texting can help you be more candid and expressive than a face-to-face conversation. You can send him cryptic or incomplete messages such as:
“I think I’m in love, and you know this person very well.”
“I think we were a couple in our last birth because we are too compatible.”
“Let’s go out….oops, never mind.”
“You know I like yo……yogurt?”
2. Send cute notes
Are you wondering how to ask a guy out in a cute way? You can try a sweet gesture like pasting post-its secretly on his desk or someplace where only he can see and spark the romance. You can write “I like you,” “Looking good, handsome,” “Lunch? My treat!” or something you wish to tell him. Then text him saying you left something for him to read. He might feel excited and impressed by your sweet attempt.
3. Write a sweet poem
If you have strong feelings for this guy, pursue them in the form of poetry. It does not have to be the best poem. Even a silly verse expressing your feelings for him or asking him out will do. You can even parody an existing rhyme, like, “Roses are red, violets are blue, dinner this Saturday, just me and you?” Conclude it by asking him to reply through an e-mail or by meeting you at a particular place at a specific time.
4. Seek his help
A simple way of asking him out is by seeking his help with something you think he would do well. This is one of the things girls do that guys love. In psychology, this is also known as the foot-in-the-door technique, which involves enhancing compliance by asking for a minor request before a more substantial favor. When a person agrees to the initial request, they become more receptive to the bigger request, compared to if the latter had been requested on its own (1). So, once you are done asking for his help, offer him a treat at a coffee house or invite him to dinner or lunch at your favorite restaurant. Make sure you don’t look desperate for a date.
5. Tell him you are hungry
If you share a good camaraderie, approach him and express your hunger. Tell him you hate eating alone or wish to try the new restaurant. Say something like, “I’m starving—but I hate eating by myself. Wanna check out this new sushi place with me?” If he joins you, you have your date. Talk to him and get to know him more before revealing your feelings.
Point to consider6. Ask for a gift
When he wishes you on a festival or your birthday, cutely ask him for a gift. He might feel flustered at first but if he asks you what you want, tell him you want to go on a date with him. However, only do this if you are already close to him, whether as a coworker or friend. If you barely know him, he might feel uncomfortable with such an upfront request.
7. Offer him an ‘extra ticket’
Guys will usually jump at the first chance to go to an event related to something they like. So, find out about a game or event of his interest and tell him you have an extra ticket for it. For instance, if you know he likes a particular football team, get tickets for their latest game. Then, say something like, “Hey, I have an extra ticket for the [team’s name] game this weekend. Do you want to come with me?” If he accompanies you, you’ve got your date.
8. Hang out casually
If you think the guy likes you, ask him to hang out with you. Chances are, if he likes you back, he will take any opportunity to hang out with you. You can invite him out to a food joint or a coffee shop for a conversation. Tell him something like, “I’m craving coffee—do you want to come hang out with me and grab some?” When you feel the time’s right, tell him what you feel for him.
9. Try using a pick-up line
While many men have pick-up lines by heart, not all women are comfortable using flirtatious pick-up lines for him. Surprise him by using one on him. It’s okay if the line is silly. You can say something completely corny, like, “Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.” If he likes you at all, it would make him chuckle. Your aim should be to make him smile and ask him to go out with you.
10. Find out any common interests
The guy you like could be into guitars or books. If you two share common interests, it can make a good conversation. For instance, if you learn that you both like the same author, ask him, “Hey, I heard you like [author’s name]. Have you had the time to check out their latest release? Want to go to the bookstore with me this weekend?” If he likes you even a little, this opportunity will get his undivided attention, and he will warm up to you before you share your interest in him.
11. Be funny
You may be good friends with him and often hang out together. Try telling him your feelings in a light and funny way. If he takes you seriously, that’s your chance to seize it. If not, let it be a joke to avoid awkwardness between you. A study published by the American Psychological Association (APA) has shown that humor dynamics and displays influence romantic chemistry between men and women, meaning that humor can help initiate and maintain relationships (2).
So, even when you don’t know him well, use humor to break the ice and make him enjoy his conversation with you. Crack a few bad jokes or puns and show him your playful side before taking the plunge and asking him out. Do pay attention to his body language; don’t ask him out if he does not appear to be interested in your jokes or conversation.
12. Flirt with him
Learning how to flirt with guys is a lighthearted way to get to know them better and subtly show your romantic interest in them. You can flirt with him by asking questions such as ‘do you have a girlfriend’ or ‘would you like to have a girlfriend?’ Based on his response, try to gauge the situation. If you get a positive reply, go ahead and tell him you like him.
13. Ask a friend to introduce you
If the guy is not directly approachable, try to find common friends. Ask them to mediate and introduce you to him. Ask them something like, “Could you please introduce me to [guy’s name]? He seems like a person I’d love to know better.”
However, ensure you are in their good books before making such a request. Friends often vet potential romantic interests, so they likely won’t introduce their friends to you if they do not like you. If all goes well, before meeting him, prepare yourself by asking about his interests, likes, and dislikes.
14. Play a fun game
Find out what he feels about you by asking him a set of questions as a part of a game. Play a game like 20 Questions or Truth or Dare. Start by asking casual questions and then go ahead and ask about the kind of girl he likes. If you feel he is giving positive answers, ask him out on a date.
Point to consider15. Ask a friend to be your ‘wing woman’
If you cannot approach him directly, ask your friend to do it for you. Your best friend may not feel nervous approaching a guy and playing a cupid. You may prefer a common friend or someone acquainted with your crush. Ask them something like, “Can you casually bring up the idea of us hanging out when you see him next?” She can tell him it would be great if you two could talk and know each other.
16. Place a note in his book or CD
Sometimes, all you need to do to ask a guy out is create an opening for yourself. Borrow a book or CD from him and place a note inside it when you return it. Write your feelings for him and mention that it is okay if he does not share the same feelings that you feel for him. Or you can be more casual and write something like, “Hey, I loved reading/listening to this. Thanks for letting me borrow it! P.S. Do you want to grab lunch sometime this weekend?”
17. Research about his passion
Shared interests and perceived similarities can help strengthen platonic and romantic relationships (3). So, find out what interests him the most and use it as a pretext to talk to him. For instance, if he likes guitars, you can approach him for guitar lessons. If he offers to teach you, you get a chance to spend more time with him before confessing your feelings.
18. Ask for a group date
Try planning a group date if asking him out on a date alone seems uncomfortable. You can even invite yourself to a group outing where he would be joining. If you are unsure how to start a conversation with a guy or don’t know the guy well, this is one of the best ways to start unobtrusively.
Ask him, “Hey, a bunch of us are going to a movie this Friday. Want to come with us?” Once together, strike up a conversation and try not to leave his side. You can easily talk to him in the company of your friends, and if he does not show interest, you can safely move on to speak to other friends.
19. Trick him into asking you out
Guys like to save the day for someone, and if you’re a woman, you may feel awkward asking him out. Gender norms in the dating scene in the US have not changed much over the last 35 years. Traditional gender norms are still followed in terms of how men and women should act and who shows interest or ask the other out, with some exceptions where women initiate the dates (4).
So, if you are unsure of asking him out, flip the script. If you tell him that you want to visit the new bowling alley or restaurant but haven’t been able to find someone to go with, chances are he might offer to take you.
20. Offer him an escape
Note his body language, offer him a way out of awkward situations, and use this time to get closer to him. Suppose you are in a group and you find him bored or disinterested; offer to take him to a better party or place that you know he might enjoy. Say something like, “Hey, I noticed you look bored. This party is a bit dull. Want to get out of here? I know a good spot.” Once you are outside, take him to a nice, quiet place and tell him you want to spend time alone with him.
21. Be upfront
Sometimes, being upfront works. If you have been in touch with this guy for a while and think he likes you too but is too shy to ask you out, be confident and ask him out directly. Be straightforward and say something like, “Hey, I’ve liked you for a while now. Do you want to grab dinner together this weekend?” He might be pleasantly surprised by your gesture and more than happy to oblige.
Mistakes To Avoid When You Ask A Guy Out
It can be brave and empowering to ask a guy out, but you should go into it with the right attitude and plan. Avoid making common mistakes to get a positive response and a possible date.
- Keep things simple; making things too hard can cause extra stress.
- To determine his interest, watch his body language and how he responds to your conversations.
- Make what you want to do clear so no one gets confused about whether it’s a date or a relaxed get-together.
- It is best to ask him in a private or relaxed place instead of in front of other people so that he can respond to it without feeling any pressure.
- Pick a date idea that will be enjoyable for both of you.
- Do not change who you are; being real is essential for nurturing a relationship.
- Do not take it personally if he tells you that he’s not interested.
Handling The Outcomes Of Asking A Guy Out
Have you bit the bullet and asked out the guy you like? Or are you close to taking the plunge? Depending on where you are in the process, the situation can go one of three ways: he may positively respond to your question, politely reject you, or be confused. Here are some ways you can handle your response without overreacting.
1. Positive response: Say you ask him, “Hey, would you like to grab dinner this weekend?” and he responds, “Sure, I’d love to! How about Saturday?” This is an enthusiastic, positive response. So, celebrate the moment, ask for more details, and enjoy your date confidently.
2. Negative response: Your crush may turn you down by saying, “I’m flattered, but I don’t see us that way.” This clearly indicates that he is not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you. So, gracefully say, “I understand, no worries at all,” and respect his decision. Do not be pushy, and move forward without resentment.
3. Confused response: You ask the guy out, and he replies, “Wait, are you asking me out, or are we just hanging out as friends?” This indicates he is confused, so clarify your intentions to him. He may now respond positively or negatively. Depending on the answer, be graceful and respectful about your response to him.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. When should I not ask a guy out?
You should not ask a guy out when he has just gotten out of a serious relationship, he already has someone in his life, or he is in a committed relationship. Also, ignore him if he is not sincere with his actions and words and is only flirting with you to boost his ego.
2. Do guys want girls to ask them out?
Although some guys may disagree with the idea of girls making the first move, it is believed that most guys find it attractive and hot when girls are confident enough to ask them out.
3. What are the benefits of asking a guy out?
Asking a guy out allows you to assert yourself and control your dating life rather than waiting for someone else to make the first move. By asking a guy out, you eliminate the uncertainty and ambiguity that often comes with waiting for him to make a move. Asking someone out can boost your self-confidence and self-esteem.
4. What are the chances of a guy saying yes when a girl asks him out?
The chances of a guy saying yes when a girl asks him out vary depending on several factors, including the individuals involved, their preferences, circumstances, and how the invitation is presented. It’s important to remember that people are unique, and their responses cannot be predicted completely.
5. Are there any potential risks to asking a guy out?
Like with all other social interactions, asking a guy carries the risk of bringing some unpleasant experiences, such as the guy not being interested in you and declining your proposal, which may lead to heartbreak.
6. How can I build my confidence to ask a guy out?
Building confidence to ask a guy out can be a little nerve-wracking, but with the right mindset and preparation, you can boost your confidence and go for it. Focus on the positives, remind yourself why you are worth it, and focus on your strengths. Prepare well in advance, take baby steps, and seek support from your friends. Practice self-care and know your worth to gain the much-needed confidence to ask a guy out.
8. Is there an ideal time or place to ask a guy out?
While there isn’t a universally perfect time or place to ask a guy out, it’s helpful to consider a few factors that can increase the chances of a positive response. You can opt for a place that makes you both feel comfortable and have a conversation without distractions. Look for a time when the guy will likely be in a good mood and receptive to your approach. Take into account the guy’s personality and interests when selecting a location or activity for the date.
9. What should I do if a guy turns me down after I ask him out?
It can be disappointing and hurtful when someone turns you down after you ask them out. However, it’s important to remember that rejection is a normal part of life and doesn’t reflect your worth or value. Remember that one rejection does not define your future romantic prospects.
10. What should I consider before asking a guy out?
Before asking a guy out, ensure a level of mutual interest or attraction between you. Also, consider whether you share common interests, values, and goals, and make sure the guy is available and emotionally ready for a new relationship.
11. What are the common mistakes women make when asking a guy out?
When asking a guy out, women can sometimes make certain mistakes that can hinder their chances of success. Spending too much time analyzing situations may lead to missed opportunities. Sometimes women become too subtle, which reduces the chances of a positive response. The fear of rejection and not having the self-confidence to initiate may avoid asking a guy out.
It may be difficult to ask a guy out but keep your cool. You may be on pins and needles waiting for his response or sweating bullets before approaching him, but your attitude and demeanor should not reflect this. All of the advice on “how to ask a guy out” listed above can assist you in doing so. Approach him confidently, tell him you’re hungry, and hang out casually, or you can also ask a friend to play ‘cupid’ for you. Regardless of the outcome, asking someone out is a brave act. You are taking a step toward building your confidence and gaining experience for any future opportunities. So, don’t be discouraged if things don’t go as planned. Shake it off and keep looking for the right guy.
Infographic: How Should You Plan For A Date With Your Man?
Now that you have convinced him to come with you, you must also ensure you make the most of it. You can plan a date with a time schedule to ensure everything goes smoothly. This infographic includes a complete schedule for a potential date. But remember to have fun and not enforce it with military-style discipline! Illustration: Momjunction Design Team
Illustration: How To Ask A Guy Out: 21 Cute Ways To Try
Image: Dall·E/MomJunction Design Team
Feeling nervous about asking out that special someone? Check out this video for tips on how to ask a guy out.
Personal Experience: Source
MomJunction articles include first-hand experiences to provide you with better insights through real-life narratives. Here are the sources of personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. “Ask a man out on a date month,” Year 2;https://ldssinglessurvival.wordpress.com/2015/08/12/ask-a-man-out-on-a-date-month-year-2/
References:
- Foot-in-the-door technique.
https://dictionary.apa.org/foot-in-the-door-technique - Norman P. Li et. al.; (2009); An evolutionary perspective on humor: Sexual selection or interest indication?
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2009-09577-008 - R. M. Montoya et. al.; (2008); Is actual similarity necessary for attraction? A meta-analysis of actual and perceived similarity.
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2009-00013-002 - A. A. Eaton et. al.; (2011); Has dating become more egalitarian? A 35 year review using Sex roles.
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2011-11483-005
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Read full bio of Donna Murphy
Nancy is a relationship coach with 27 years. She guides couples and stepfamilies in their endeavor to make their relationships stronger. With a master's degree in Spiritual Psychology, emphasizing on consciousness, health, and healing, Nancy blends her personal experience with research-backed strategies. She has authored eight books, including How to Stay Married & Love It! and Stepping TwoGether: Building a Strong Stepfamily.Nancy is a relationship coach with 27 years. She guides couples and stepfamilies in their endeavor to make their relationships stronger. With a master's degree in Spiritual Psychology, emphasizing on consciousness, health, and healing, Nancy blends her personal experience with research-backed strategies. She has authored eight books, including How to Stay Married & Love It! and Stepping TwoGether: Building a Strong Stepfamily.
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