We raise our kids with the best of intentions. But somewhere down the road, our pampering can spoil our kids and lead them into thinking they are entitled to everything. There is a possibility that we inadvertently reinforce certain bad behaviors by giving in to their tantrums, giving them multiple warnings but never following through with them, and letting them have their way on several occasions even when we think otherwise. So, if you don’t want your children to be spoiled brats, we bring you ways you can raise kind and responsible kids instead.
If your child continues to misbehave in a certain way, don’t keep on giving multiple warnings. Instead, warn them once and follow up with a reasonable consequence when they misbehave again.
Accept That You Don’t Always Have To be “Liked” By Your Child
Parents, especially those who are working all the time, tend to overcompensate by giving in to their child’s whims or tantrums. Instead of letting your children always have their way, try to be an authority figure they could look up to. Spend quality time with them whenever you are free and give them all your attention during those times. Be firm and strong when you need to say no, and realize that you being their best friend may not always work in your favor.
Wait Until You’re Both Calm To Explain What They Did Wrong
Anything said in anger may not be helpful to your child in any way. Your child may also be too upset to listen to you. So, it’s a good idea to wait until you both cool off to explain the wrongdoings and help him/her understand why it is wrong and also suggest ways to correct it.
Validate Their Emotions
Your toddler is angry and kicking up a storm in a public place. It’s natural for you to lose your calm and shout at him due to the sheer embarrassment and judgment you face from the people around you. To help your child calm down, you might decide to cave in to his requests. Before you know it, your child might pick up on this pattern and throw a tantrum every time his wants are not met. Instead of a strict “no!” or letting him have his way, you could try a different approach. Validate their emotions by getting on their eye level, talking to them, and giving them a big hug. Your child will be much calmer and would learn to mimic your calm demeanor.
Giving them tasks such as walking the dog, setting the table, and making their beds not only teaches them responsibility, but it also builds their self-esteem. It helps them understand the importance and value of hard work.
Avoid Taking The Blame For Their Bad Behavior
Never take the blame for your child’s wrongdoings. If your child behaves in a way that is unacceptable or wrong, don’t hesitate to criticize them. Explain to your child that this behavior is not acceptable in any way and teach him how he can make up for it.
Avoid False Praise
Don’t indulge in too much false praise. While the idea of giving a trophy for participation is still up for debate, going through the experience of failure will help your child succeed. Instead of constantly praising your child and labeling them talented and outstanding, nurture and help them discover the other talents they might have. Not everyone has to be good at soccer; that’s what makes us unique and interesting.
Teach Them About Gratitude
The best way to teach your kids about gratitude is by being good role models. Show your child how to say thank you to people, whether it is the waiter or the delivery boy. Your child will learn to say thank you by watching and learning from you. And before you know it, she will learn to say it almost reflexively.
Teach Them Manners
It isn’t just about saying thank you; good manners go beyond that. It’s saying please, being kind to people, showing good sportsmanship, and much more. Learning good manners will guard them against being spoiled kids.
Be Cautious About The Consequences
It’s good if you are able to go through with the consequences, but make sure you don’t extend it or over punish them. The consequences should be for a short period of time and reasonable. Remember, it should motivate them to do better, not scar them in any way.
Teach Them The Value Of Money
Teach your kids that money comes from hard work and that everything has a cost. Kids tend to get spoiled when they get everything easily without any effort. Give them a reasonable allowance and teach them how to manage it. You can also set up a reward system that lets them earn bit by bit every time they showcase good behavior.
Raising kids can be challenging. But if you are hoping to raise well-mannered children, it’s important to be firm and set a few ground rules. We hope our post served you as an easy guide on how you should not spoil your kids.