How To Be A Good Kisser: 15 Best Tips To Help You Be One

✔ Research-backed

Being around your special one is in itself an ineffable experience and sharing a kiss with them can be even better, isn’t it? Kissing is a special moment that makes the bond or relationship between two people one to be cherished. However, how to kiss someone and how to make it unforgettable for the person you’re sharing the kiss with are questions you may be grappling with. So, to help you be a better kisser and make the experience surreal for both you and your partner, we explain the need for kissing in humans, its importance, and also kissing tips in this post. Read on!

In This Article

Why Do Humans Kiss?

Humans kiss to express love

Image: IStock

Kissing is the most intimate act that humans indulge in to express their love and closeness toward a person. But how do you kiss? There are different types of kisses to express different feelings, so how you kiss can convey your feelings to the other person. While a kiss on the hand and cheek can be a way to greet each other, a forehead kiss means care, and a kiss on the lips is usually reserved for your partner.

Scientifically speaking, lip contact during kissing releases oxytocin, facilitating bonding and emotional connection, and alleviating stress. Also, men and women may have distinct interpretations of what it means to kiss someone on the lips. A study showed that women may use kissing to evaluate potential partners and form bonds, while men may use it to achieve their sexual purpose. It further states that this variance in meaning corresponds to the differences in their thought processes and biological profile. However, it is also important to note that neither gender believes it’s a good idea for someone’s ability to kiss to serve as the foundation for the start of a relationship (1).

Why Is Kissing Important In A Relationship?

Kissing establishes intimacy

Image: IStock

While a couple can go for a long time in a relationship without having sex, kissing is key to keeping the spark alive in the relationship. It is one of the ways to share your love with your special one and express affection for one another. It also allows you to have a deeper understanding of each other and establish intimacy in a relationship. A study also showed improvements in perceived stress, relationship satisfaction, and total serum cholesterol in couples who kiss more frequently (2).

A passionate kiss on the cheeks or a lingering kiss on the lips, however, may not be a way to convey love in all traditions and may vary from one culture and country to another. A meta-analysis found that tribal people are about three times more likely to never kiss on the lips than couples in economically sophisticated and socially stratified cultures (3).

protip_icon Did you know?
A ten-second-long kiss can transfer about 80 million bacteria from one person to another, which can be actually good for your health (4).

How To Know If You Are A Good Kisser?

You may consider yourself a good kisser if you have the following attributes:

  • You get compliments from your partner.
  • Your partner is eager to kiss you.
  • Your kisses last long.
  • You feel confident and maintain a cool and calm demeanor during the act.
  • You pay attention to oral hygiene and aim to avoid odor and reduce chapped lips.
  • Your hands complement your act of kissing, and your partner plays along, too.
  • You feel one with your partner while kissing.
  • You do not stick to just one style of kissing.

15 Tips To Be A Good Kisser

If you want to take your relationship to the next step, keeping these pointers in mind could help.

1. Be attentive

Being a good kisser requires a lot of involvement. So be attentive to your partner’s actions and movements and act accordingly.

Be attentive to your partners' actions

Image: Shutterstock

2. Maintain oral hygiene

A bad breath and odor can be a turn-off for many, especially if you are kissing for the first time. So make sure to carry a mouth freshener and practice oral hygiene. Also, avoid kissing after eating foods with a strong smell.

protip_icon Research finds
Women care more about the smell of breath than men, and men prefer wetter kisses more than women (1).

3. Keep it slow

When you kiss, it’s good to start slowly and softly, gently increasing its intensity while keeping your partner’s comfort in mind. It helps in stirring the right emotions and feelings to make the kissing experience enjoyable for both partners.

4. Pay attention to your lips

While it may not sound so important, soft and moisturized lips are more kissable and provide more satisfaction. Males can be advised to have clean or properly trimmed beards, especially for the first kiss.

5. Be confident

Just like having a conversation, kissing someone warrants you to be confident and relaxed. But at the same time, you must also be respectful of your special one’s boundaries.

6. Stay relaxed

Do not get nervous when you kiss. Instead, stay calm and relaxed, or it might make the kiss awkward. Embrace the moment and enjoy the feeling without being critical of yourself or your partner.

7. Communicate

Whether you want to know how to kiss a guy or girl, irrespective of gender, paying attention to your partner’s preferences and asking about their likes and dislikes is very crucial. This can help you become a good kisser for them and also will make your partner more comfortable.

You must have heard the popular saying, ‘The eyes are the window to your soul.’ Youtubers and couple Naka and Dom believe in the same when it comes to expressing their desire to kiss. Naka says, “Whenever Dom wants to kiss me, he always looks at my lips, so that’s how I know (i).”

8. Add elements

When kissing your partner, try adding different elements, like rubbing the hair, caressing, gentle touches, stroking cheeks, and interlocking fingers. However, whatever elements you add, your partner’s comfort should be paramount.

Use gentle touches while kissing

Image: Shutterstock

9. Experiment with techniques

There are different kissing styles you may try with your partner, and mixing it all up can make the experience more exciting and satisfying.

10. Be romantic

Don’t kiss your partner because you have to. But turn it into a romantic and joyful experience. Try setting a romantic atmosphere using dim lights, candles, and music. It will help the romance and effort you put in make your partner fall head over heels for you.

11. Take a breath

It is good to have a long and passionate kiss; however, take the hints and cues that suggest your partner needs a break to catch their breath.

12. Close your eyes

While you may unknowingly close your eyes when kissing, if not, try closing your eyes. This will help you be more attentive toward your partner’s breath, the feeling of their presence, their heartbeat, and even their smell.

protip_icon Quick fact
When we close our eyes, our other senses, like touch, are heightened (5). Therefore, shutting your eyes when kissing can make the moment more gratifying.

13. Keep your head clear

When you’re kissing your partner, it’s very important to keep your head clear of anything. If you’re too absorbed in overthinking, like what your partner must be thinking, how to kiss better, or comparing the kiss with previous ones, you will not be able to enjoy the moment. This will ultimately lead your partner to feel awkward or dissatisfied.

14. Explore

If you’re in a long-term relationship, you may try exploring other sensual areas to kiss your partner and kiss them with your whole body, like pulling them close and wrapping your arms around them. Also, follow your partner’s lead and read through their body language.


Image: Shutterstock

15. Enjoy and have fun

Remember, kissing someone is an opportunity to enjoy and have fun together in an intimate way. Use kissing to show your love and affection for your partner and express your desire to be close to them. Make the most of the experience and cherish your connection.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. How to initiate the first kiss?

Initiating the kiss can make you nervous, but keeping a few kissing tips in mind can help. So, when you are with your partner, be attentive to your partner’s body language, know the right time and place, be confident, move closer slowly and start with a slight touch. If your partner is reciprocating your actions, you may go for the kiss.

2. How do I know if someone wants to kiss me?

There are a few signs that someone may want to kiss you. These can include leaning in closer to you, making prolonged eye contact, touching or stroking your face, arm, or hair, mirroring your body language and movements, giving you compliments, or making flirtatious comments. However, it’s important to remember that these signs can be subtle and may not always be clear.

3. How do I tell someone they’re bad at kissing?

There is no best way to tell someone they’re bad at kissing, but you can communicate directly about your likes and dislikes in a tactful way. You can offer constructive feedback through examples and try describing your feelings in a calm and subtle way that will not hurt their feelings.

Knowing how to kiss someone is crucial to advance your relationship. A good kiss can deepen your connection and strengthen your bond. It also allows for deeper understanding and intimacy between partners and can improve stress levels. Being attentive to your partner, maintaining good oral hygiene, and keeping your partner comfortable are all qualities of a good kisser. It’s also important to note that everyone has different preferences, so make sure to communicate with your partner to know their likes and dislikes.

Infographic: Knowing A Good Kisser From A Bad One

Knowing the difference between a good and a bad kisser is of utmost importance. If you don’t know how to kiss someone and make your partner close their eyes, you are doing something wrong. Find out the other things you should be aware of to differentiate a bad kisser from a good one in this infographic below.

good kisser vs bad kisser (infographic)

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

Key Pointers

  • After holding hands and hugging, kissing is the next step in a relationship.
  • A kiss may mean different things for men and women.
  • Practicing good oral hygiene and being attentive and confident while kissing can help make you a better kisser.
  • Make your partner comfortable and have fun while enjoying this special moment.
How To Be A Better Kisser_illustration

Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team

Are you wondering if you’re a good kisser? This video will help you find out! Learn tips and tricks to make sure you’re a pro at locking lips.

Personal Experience: Source


MomJunction's articles are written after analyzing the research works of expert authors and institutions. Our references consist of resources established by authorities in their respective fields. You can learn more about the authenticity of the information we present in our editorial policy.
  1. Why We Kiss.
  2. Justin P. Boren et al.; (2009); Kissing in Marital and Cohabiting Relationships: Effects on Blood Lipids Stress and Relationship Satisfaction.
  3. The Subversive Power of the Kiss.
  4. Long kisses transfer bacteria from one mouth to another.
  5. Stefan Brodoehl et al.; (2015); Eye closure enhances dark night perceptions.
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Amira Martin

Amira MartinLicensed Clinical Social Worker

Amira Martin is a licensed clinical social worker practicing in New York. Having done her master’s degree from the Silberman School of Social Work at Hunter College in 2002, she gained over 20 years of experience working with adults and children. Amira is an adjunct lecturer at the Columbia University School of Social Work and the founder of Amira full bio