While people offer different kinds of advice on marriage, the best qualities of a good wife are universal. There are certain qualities almost every man seeks for in the woman with whom he desires to settle down and build a future. Nevertheless, marriage requires both partners to be committed to make it a healthy relationship.
Modern women may contest the idea of what makes a good wife. Hence, it would be wrong to assume that a good wife fits the stereotypical image of a good woman. Instead, there are many ways to make a marriage successful, but it is only possible if both parties are willing to work hard.
To help you get a better perspective on what most men look for in their life partner, we have compiled a list of the qualities that make a woman a good wife.
Qualities Of A Good Wife
Here, we list down a few character traits that can help you to be a great partner or even make you a good wife.
1. Express your love
Do you love your husband? Do you feel happy and safe when you are with him?
If you have committed to spending a lifetime with a man through nuptials, you must love him. But loving is not enough. A relationship thrives on the expression of that love, among other emotions. So if you love your husband, be affectionate and show him your caring side by expressing how much he means to you.
You don’t have to make elaborate expressions of love every day. It could just be little gestures such as a kiss or a peck on the cheek now and then, or making his favorite breakfast once in a while or picking a movie he likes to watch together.
Telling that you love him is ok, but wait for the right moment to say it; say it only if it is true.
In any relationship, being communicative is critical. And marriage is no exception. Throw away the misconceived notions that a partner is supposed to know what the other one thinks and wants. Your husband cannot read minds, just as you can’t. You may know about each others’ likes and preferences but not necessarily what they are thinking or feeling.
Open communication in the marriage means that you tell your husband what you think or feel and what you expect of him. Talk to your husband – ask, say, and discuss. Avoid the silent treatment, which can make things worse. Don’t leave your husband guessing about what you want. It will be better to clear your mind, try to figure out what you really want while being honest to yourself, and then communicate that to him.
3. Be supportive
Be it a career, a hobby or anything else that your husband pursues, he’d need and want your support. Being supportive in a marriage is not just about being there when the partner is having a difficult time. It is about appreciating or praising him when he achieves a milestone, or when he overcomes his fear and tries something new.
Supporting is not always saying good things. It is also about offering constructive criticism to encourage him to improve in whatever he is doing. For example, being adaptable and supportive of your husband’s new business idea when you are financially comfortable is a good way to boost his confidence and strengthen the relationship.
Rajen Garabadu, a writer, shares how the support from his wife during difficult times proved helpful. He shares, “I have many reasons to thank my wife. Being a light sleeper, I get up at the slightest movement. My wife recognized and adjusted to these traits. On the night my daughter was born, she asked me to sleep in the adjoining room. The hospital had upgraded us to a suite as the category we had booked was sold out. Sara (his wife) surprised us by arriving two weeks early. The extra room ensured I slept soundly that night, oblivious to the nurses on duty marching in and out of the room to check on both my wife and daughter(i).”
4. Be his best friend
The best marriage is the one where the couple is each other’s best friend. Nothing is better than being in love with your best friend. This is a love that is deep, strong and genuine. Allow a healthy friendship to develop between you and your husband, and see what difference it makes to your life.
5. Respect the person he is
The best marriages are those where the partners respect each other. Your husband is his own individual, with flaws and all. Respect the person he is, not for what he does for you or the family. Mutual respect in the marriage is a must. This reflects in the way you speak and behave with each other. Do not belittle, humiliate, strike or harm your husband, whether in private or public. A little teasing is alright, but insulting is not okay. So watch what you say and think before you speak.
6. Show an interest in his interests
Not everything that your husband likes could interest you. You don’t have to do things that he likes, but give your husband the space to pursue his interests and show some curiosity about what he’s doing. Ask him about the game, book or hobby that he is interested in. Do a little homework and learn about the things he is interested in so that you can have a conversation about that too. Having things that both of you enjoy opens the chance for a conversation or an activity that both of you can do together.
7. Respect his need for space
‘Space’ is a concept that few people understand. Every person needs his or her own space. Even married men need their space at times and may want to retreat to their man-cave. Respect that and give him some space, and allow him to pursue his hobbies and interests that are “only for him”. Restricting your spouse’s freedom and space can be suffocating for them and have a negative impact on the relationship.
Listening is critical for effective communication, and perhaps more important than talking. So make a conscious effort not just to hear, but listen and understand when your husband is talking. Pay attention to him during a conversation. Put away your phone, turn off the TV or turn down the music that could be distracting you. Giving your husband your full attention when he is speaking shows how much you respect him.
Listening does not mean you have to agree with him. But even to disagree, you must listen to what he is saying.
9. Be appreciative
Men, too, have this need to be loved, appreciated and praised. Tell him how much you appreciate the little things he does for you, for the children or in the house. Praise encourages him to do more for you, and also sends the message that his efforts are recognized. You don’t have to sing his praises to show appreciation. A simple, genuine ‘thank you’ will suffice.
10. Pick the right fights
Do you know of any married couple that doesn’t fight?
Marriage is about two different, unique individuals who will have differences. The disagreements and differences can sometimes lead to fights. And those fights, if too many, can strain the relationship. That doesn’t mean you compromise every time. No.
It means you have to think and pick your fights wisely. Ask yourself – ‘Is it worth fighting for?’ What’s stopping you from compromising and let your husband have his way sometimes? If it’s a trivial issue, let it go. Do not let your ego come in the way of a happy, loving relationship with the man you love.
11. Be honest
Honesty is the base for a trusting relationship. Marriages that last are based on honesty and open communication, with no place for cheating or lying. Your husband deserves honesty and truthfulness from you, just as you do from him.
Being honest doesn’t mean you have to say everything. In fact, there are truths that don’t have to be said because all they do is harm. Maybe you don’t like his favorite shirt but it’s not worth saying it. You don’t like his lotion, so buy a different one just saying that you like this one better. Practicing with little things will help you learn how to do it, this practice will help you to know how to say important things, such as those related to sex.
Being truthful won’t always be easy. Sometimes your honesty might upset your husband and may even lead to fights. But dishonesty can damage a relationship so much that the partners will have a tough time trusting each other again. One lie or betrayal and your husband may always have a lingering doubt about your truthfulness. Be a trustworthy partner to your husband for a smooth sailing life.
12. Be your true self
Be your true self in a relationship, right from the beginning. Be as you really are, avoiding false smiles or pretentious laugh. Pretending to be who we are not can be exhausting and lead to a bad relationship.
13. Have fun
Not every day of marriage is exciting. Somewhere along the way, the boredom sets in. You get into a routine and do the same things day in and day out. When ignored, boredom can lead to unhappiness. So what do you do?
Have fun and do not let boredom creep into your relationship. Go on dates, picnics, road trips and tours. Or plan movie nights, cook dinner together, watch a TV series, be silly together, take yoga or dance classes together, learn a language together and do something that will help you two get out of your comfort zones.
14. Step up the romance
Marriages that lack romance tend to fizzle out sooner or later. So step up your romance by a notch or two and get back to the basics. Get flirtatious, tease him, touch him lovingly, kiss him spontaneously and lead him in the bedroom. Taking the first step in romance or lovemaking does not mean you are needy and it will not make you any less than the man. So if you’re in the mood for something romantic, go ahead and do it. Surprise him!
15. Get creative in bed
One thing that all men want to know is that they are good in bed. They need to hear it often, to boost their confidence and make them feel like ‘da man’. That said, most men may not be comfortable asking what they want in bed. But in a marriage, you should be able to talk about your wildest fantasies and try them out. So, don’t worry about getting creative and trying something new with your husband. It could be something that you like, or he likes. If you know your husband and you know that he likes to experiment with new things you propose, don’t hesitate telling him about what you want to try; but you have to be careful if your husband is insecure.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. What do men look for in a wife?
Though every man may have different opinions, most men prefer their wives to be faithful and loyal, beautiful, reliable, intelligent, and independent.
2. What makes a man feel connected to a woman?
A man feels connected to a woman when she supports him, shows love, appreciates him, and makes him feel important. He would also feel connected when they are intimately connected.
3. Why is it crucial for a good wife to have a strong sense of commitment and dedication to her marriage?
For a good wife, possessing a strong sense of commitment and dedication is vital as it lays the foundation for a flourishing and harmonious marriage. It signifies her willingness to invest time, effort, and energy into the relationship, fostering trust, intimacy, and comfort.
4. Why is it important for a good wife to continue growing and evolving both individually and as a couple?
It is essential for a good wife to prioritize personal growth and the growth of the relationship, as it enables individual development, adaptability, and shared growth. This commitment fosters a sense of fulfillment, keeps the relationship vibrant, and equips the couple to effectively navigate life’s various challenges and transitions. When the wife focuses on her well-being and development, she is better equipped to work for the relationship’s growth and can support the partner wholeheartedly.
5. How can a good wife foster a strong sense of teamwork and partnership within the marriage?
A good wife can nurture a strong sense of teamwork and partnership in the marriage by giving importance to open communication, actively cooperating with her spouse in achieving common objectives and fulfilling shared responsibilities. Expressing gratitude for their contributions and striving to find mutually beneficial solutions further strengthens the spirit of collaboration and partnership within the relationship.
6. What role does forgiveness play in being a good wife, and how can it be practiced in a healthy manner?
Forgiveness plays an important role in being a good wife, cultivating harmony and emotional well-being in the marriage. It entails relinquishing past grievances and demonstrating understanding and compassion. To practice forgiveness healthily, engage in open communication and commit to rebuild trust within the relationship. However, while forgiveness is integral in a relationship, understand that your feelings are valid and take your time to introspect. Communicate your thoughts to your partner so that they can do better.
Many women often wonder about the best qualities of a good wife and confuse it with being submissive or obedient. However, a good wife does not need to sacrifice her happiness or nod her head to every demand. A woman can make a good wife when she complements her husband’s personality and supports him in his endeavors. If you want to be a good wife, start by expressing your love for your husband. Communication is the best key to strengthening any relationship. Be respectful, honest, patient, and have fun together. Marriages can only be successful if both partners are empathetic, responsible, selfless, and act out of love, care, and appreciation.
Infographic: Qualities Of A Good Wife
To be a loving wife is about ensuring your husband’s happiness and loving and supporting him while not losing yourself and your identity in life. This infographic sheds light on some ideal traits of a good wife; you may follow these as tips to be a partner your husband will admire and adore always.
- Show verbal and physical affection to your husband while respecting and admiring him.
- Support him and give him space while understanding that disagreements are normal in marriage.
- Understand that successful relationships require work from both spouses and honesty is crucial.
- Make the relationship exciting by stepping up romance and being creative in bed.
Learn the top 20 qualities of being a good wife! Discover how to be a supportive and loving partner in your marriage.
Personal Experience: Source
i. It took me 17 years to do this;