33 Simple Ways To Get Him To Commit In A Relationship

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The word ’commitment,’ which some men dread, is what most women crave in a relationship. But, how to get him to commit?
To feel safe in a relationship, you may require commitment from the partner. He may adore and love you, but committing to you for the rest of his life may give him the creeps. Your man, on the other hand, might see it as shackles that would bind him and steal his independence.

Commitment is a necessary component of a long-term partnership. You can’t blame yourself for wanting your partner’s allegiance. Some gestures can compel your boyfriend to dedicate his love and life to you if he is uncertain. Continue reading to know about some interesting approaches to persuade him to commit to you.

33 Ways To Get Him Commit To You

Commitment is essential for a relationship to bloom, grow, and sustain. Here are some ideas to make your man understand the same and willingly commit to you.

1. Don’t pester him

Does his lack of commitment make you antsy? Sit with him and express your need for commitment clearly and calmly. Do not badger him into committing to you. Once he knows what is on your mind, let him contemplate. Frequent reminders and requests could make him feel you are trying to trap him.

2. Act disinterested

When you act desperate, your man might run miles away from you. But when you show disinterest, he will do anything to win back your attention. After you express your need for commitment, do not remind him again. Get busy with work or do anything to take your mind off him. He may wonder what happened to you, and it could change his mind and get him to realize that he wants to be close to you. He might be more than willing to have you in his life.

3. Be a cheerful person

Your partner wouldn’t like a pessimistic and negative person. A positive and happy attitude attracts men. Learn to have some fun and relax. If he seems bogged down, try to motivate him and help him push away the gloom. Be his reason to smile, and he will not let you out of his sight.

4. Ignite his hero instinct

Men have a hero instinct that makes them help anyone in trouble. If you go to him with a problem, and if he manages to solve it, he will be happy with himself to save your day. You may not need that much help, but the purpose is to massage his ego a bit. Show him your respect and let him feel needed and appreciated. When you ignite his hero instinct, he may feel valued.

5. Show him your mysterious side

When a guy thinks he has figured you out, he loses interest in you. But when he finds you are mysterious, he will be eager to know more about you. Be an accommodative person but do not tell him every single detail about yourself. Go out with your friends but do not tell him everything you did. Let him guess and keep the mystery on, so he finds you even more desirable.

6. Have a life of your own

If your life revolves only around your boyfriend, there is no way he will ever commit to you. He may think you are stealing his space by becoming overdependent. Instead, build a career, have a friend circle, and be an independent woman. Let him love and respect you for who you are and find him beside you forever.

7. Open up to him

He may respect you for being independent but let him see your vulnerable side. This way, you can connect emotionally, which is the basis of a healthy relationship. Ignite his protective nature by occasionally asking him for warm cuddles when you have a bad day at work. Share your problems and secrets with him. Have deep conversations so he feels connected with you.

8. Be his match

Everyone seeks certain qualities in a partner. Be clear of what you are bringing to the relationship. If you lack something, work on it if possible for you, but always be yourself. Ensure you are a match for your partner, and there is no room for him to hesitate to commit to you.

9. Get along with his friends

Some people seek the approval of their friends when dating. If his friends disapprove of you, there would be fewer chances of him committing to you. Be nice to his friends. Don’t try too hard, as it may come across as fake. If you find it difficult to get along with his buddies, become friends with their girlfriends. Be a part of his inner circle and let him see how easily you fit into his life without disturbing it.

10. Appreciate his efforts

If he fixes your PC for you, thank him and reward his efforts with a peck on his cheek or a warm hug. Ensure his efforts have not gone unnoticed and that you feel grateful. When he knows he makes you happy, he will want to be with you for a long time.

11. Become his habit

Text him something sweet when you know he is upset. Plan an entire date with him to cheer him up. Become an integral part of his daily life. Make him accustomed to your texts so that he starts missing you when you do not text him. Make him realize that you have become a habit of his.

12. Go ‘missing in action’ for a bit

Pull back a little. Do not disappear from his life but reduce the frequency of whatever you have been doing for him. The sudden change will not go unnoticed. He will miss you and might fear that you could be seeing another guy. So, he will ask you to be with him so that he doesn’t lose you.

13. Do your bit in the relationship

Both the partners have to contribute equally for a balanced relationship. Offer to pay the bill when out with him or at least share the expenses. Let him see how you do not wish to burden him and are willing to be equal in the relationship.

14. Go on a vacation without him

Go on a long vacation with your friends to a place where you can have quality time with your pals. Do stay in touch with him when you are gone but do not divulge too much information. He will miss you and will not be able to stop wondering what you might be doing. When you come back, he might give you what you want, that is commitment.

15. Don’t be overly available

If you are always available for him, he may take you for granted. Instead, once in a while, spend a few days away and say that to him before you do. It shows that you can still hold your own choices, and sometimes you could choose yourself over him. Once he gets the bitter taste of your absence, he might do something never to miss you.

16. Mention proposition from other guys

Be subtle and mention how well you have been getting along with a guy at work. When your man senses a threat, he might commit to you, so everyone knows you are taken.

17. Avoid flattering him

It is good to appreciate his efforts but do not overdo it. Do not indulge in flattery. He will appreciate your genuine compliments but will also see through your fake praise. So, keep your compliments limited and exclusive. Do not go overboard in your attempt to make him commit to you.

18. Look your best

True love is not concerned with your looks, but it can attract your man. It could also make him insecure, and he might want to commit to you to ward off any unwanted attention that comes your way.

19. Let him have his life

One of the reasons men dread commitment is due to the fear of losing themselves or their autonomy. Commitment could bring several restrictions in his life. If you want him to commit to you, respect his need for personal space and time. Do not stop him from living his life. Keep yourself busy with other activities. Let him enjoy and see that committing to you does not mean losing his freedom.

20. Have fun together

Learn to have fun together even if your ideas of ‘fun’ differ vastly. You may not like spending time outdoors, but he enjoys camping and trekking. Do not be rigid and try it for his sake. He will appreciate your willingness to try something new and know that he can be happy with a flexible person like you.

21. Get along with his folks

It can be difficult, but you have to give it your best shot. Impress his family. Let him see how well you blend with his family. If they get along with you, he would know you are a perfect fit for him.

22. Give a patient ear to his advice

When you tell him how uncooperative your colleagues are at work, he might offer you some advice on tackling them. Listen to his advice patiently. Show him that whatever he says matters to you. Let him feel that you value his words.

23. Celebrate his achievements

When he bags an award at work or gets a promotion, celebrate it. When he finishes a big assignment or meets a crucial deadline, celebrate that too. Bake a cake for him or cook his favorite dish. Tell him that after all the hard work he put in, he deserves a treat. Let him see how beautiful life will be with you, and he would want to lock you in with him.

24. Inspire him

When a guy notices how happy you are with him, he feels motivated to work harder to give more such moments. Inspire him to be the best version of himself. When his hard work pays off, he will feel grateful for having someone like you in his life. He feels a deeper connection with you and would want you to inspire him for life.

25. Encourage his hobbies and passion

Be his biggest cheerleader when he sets out to pursue his hobbies and passion. Offer him your complete support when he tells you he wants to pursue something. Do not be critical of his choice, even if it doesn’t make sense to you. Assure him that you will always be there to cheer for him.

26. Do not change yourself

Let’s assume he was attracted to you because of your happy and lively nature. But after you started dating, you transformed into an obsessive and nagging girlfriend. Do not let your insecurities change you into something you are not. Be your usual self, the one he fell for. When you are consistent in your behavior, he knows you are for keeps.

27. Set equal and reasonable rules

If you are living together, make rules that are equally applicable and reasonable enough to follow. For instance, if he has work commitments, he can ask you to take over the home chores and return the favor whenever you need it. Make it easy and convenient for him to live with you.

28. Do not try to change him

Men are reluctant to commit because they fear being molded into something to suit your preference. If you want him to commit to you, do not change him. Love him the way he is. Even if he does change according to your wishes, someday he will miss his old self and might resent.

29. Do not compare him to your ex

Let go of your past. Cherish your current relationship. Let him know how happy you are with him. Let him see how happy you can make him, and do not compare him with your ex. Live in the present if you want a future with him.

30. Express your love

If your man is not committing, it does not necessarily mean that he doesn’t love you. He may be holding back from commitment due to his personal issues. Whenever you get the chance, tell him how you feel for him and love him. Be sincere so he realizes his feelings for you.

31. Avoid using sex to your benefit

Compatibility in bed does not make a man commit to you. You will have to establish a deeper bond to make him spend a lifetime with you. Do not use physical intimacy to make him commit to you; it will only backfire.

32. Be his friend

Men can find it difficult to express their true feelings. Try to be the one they can confide in without being judged. Make him feel that you can be his true confidant and that whatever he says will not change your feelings for him. When he feels he can share anything with you, he will know he has found ‘the one’ in his life.

33. Be his safety net

At the end of a long, tough day at work, what a man seeks is some comfort. Be that source of comfort and ease for him. Let him look forward to coming to you to relax in your arms. Listen to him if he wants to share something by being his safety net.

These tips on “how to get him to commit” might help you woo your special someone. You can use these ideas to check if he gets the message. However, do not lose your true self in the process. Try to stay upfront about your efforts and check that your message is passed on to him. If he is unwilling to commit even after you’ve given your best, then it might be time for you to reconsider your relationship. Because of this unpredictability, having a commitment conversation could be difficult. However, remember that it is essential that you both share similar commitment goals to live together.

Key Pointers

  • To make a man commit to a relationship, express your expectations clearly and give him time to think about it.
  • Keep a positive attitude, learn to be independent, and enhance your strengths.
  • Spending time together, celebrating his achievements, and being a friend in need can be some other ways to encourage your partner to commit.

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Jason Polk

Jason Polk is a licensed couple’s therapist. He’s a Level II PACT (Psychological Approach to Couples Therapy) therapist and has been trained in the RLT (Relational Life Therapy) model. He’s a certified HOCII (Healing Our Core Issues Institute) therapist. Having experienced his own difficulties in relationships, he pursued a career in couples counseling to learn how to have a healthy... more

Ratika Pai

Ratika has experience writing in various fields including finance, education, lifestyle, and entertainment. After her masters degree in Commerce, she acquired a PG Diploma in Communication and Journalism from Mumbai University. She is inquisitive about human relationships and likes to study people and how they manage their relationships, during her freetime. At MomJunction, Ratika writes insightful and informative articles on... more