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You’ll never know the depth of your love until you’ve been separated from your partner at least once. If you’ve been disconnected from your lady love and are thinking, ’how to get my wife back after separation,’ you’re in for a long road. When partners agree to separate for some time, it is known as marital separation. Such a period of compromise can help you understand that marriage was good for you. It also offers you a fresh start and a renewed desire to hold your wife’s hand for the rest of your life. Therefore, we bring you some advice on how to reconcile with your wife after a period of separation and help you get closer to her.
What Caused The Separation?
It could be easy to sort out the issues with your wife when you figure out the series of events that caused the dissociation. Here are a few common reasons that make couples call for a temporary break or separation.
1. Lack of effort
Marriage needs constant commitment, just like your home or car would. It is essential to put in empathy and spend some quality time with your spouse to make them feel special and express your feelings and thoughts. Otherwise, the void between you and your spouse could give rise to neglect and unspoken resentments. It could eventually become an underrated reason for separation in the marriage.
2. No communication
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The foundation of any relationship is communication. Busy schedules, not expressing the feelings, not showering appreciation, and not sharing the ups and downs of life with your partner could create a gap. That space could expand with time and lead to misunderstandings that may cause a separation.
3. Abuse or cheating
Infidelity and any form of abuse usually lead to divorce. But in some cases, a partner gives a chance to the relationship and to the spouse who is wrong by calling a separation.
4. Monetary problems
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Money could be one of the significant factors that create a crack in the relationship. It could be due to unsaid expectations, financial crunch, or spending habits of your spouse. Financial problems might arise in any situation — even when only one of the partners is earning or both are working — due to various reasons. These problems often arise due to the mismanagement of money and a lack of a financial plan.
Once you figure out the cause that led to your separation, you can start working on it to get your wife back.
Tips To Win Your Wife Back After Separation
You must have hurt your wife by initiating separation, but now you realize her importance. If you want your wife back in your life, you need to earn her love and respect. Here are a few tips on how you can win her loyalty.
1. Try to bring changes within you
‘Sometimes, we fail at relationships because we don’t have a good relationship with ourselves.’
There might be some things about you that detached your wife. You need to introspect what you did wrong and make amends for it. It is impossible to force her to accept you the way you are when she is already feeling the bitterness of the relationship. Also, you cannot control the outcome of separation. Instead, you can do what’s under your control and try your best to reunite.
Quick tip2. Be patient and consistent
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Take baby steps and give her time to think positively about you and the relationship. You cannot afford to make more mistakes by getting things done hastily. At the same time, be consistent in making efforts. Let her take her time to forgive you and contemplate what she is missing in life during the separation. Remember, time and effort are the two things required to fight a problem.
3. Share your feelings
Now that you have realized how special the presence of your wife was and you miss her, try to convey your affection. Positive communication can create a strong base for your relationship. Rebuild your relationship by reconnecting your thoughts. You can apologize, lend friendship, and let your beloved know why you want her back.
Bhrigu Pandit, an astrologer and blogger, shares his experience concerning the difficulties he has encountered in his marriage. After feeling the distance creeping in, he and his wife decided to work on their relationship. He writes, “We made sure to have open and honest conversations about our desires and fantasies. It was a bit awkward at first, but it really helped us understand each other better and brought us closer emotionally (i).”
4. Listen and rectify
One reason behind your separation could be that you left her unheard and didn’t follow her hints. Maybe she wanted you to tell her how much you love her. Maybe she was expecting you to bring her something.
Sometimes, you might not know what went wrong. Let her talk and be a good listener. While she is talking, do not try to counter-attack or solve her problems. Instead, acknowledge your mistakes, apologize (if you had not), and promise her that you won’t repeat after a patch-up. All these could instill the lost faith and encourage her to get back in your life.
5. Don’t reciprocate negatively
While you are on your track to get your wife back during separation, she might show her unwillingness. She could ignore you, talk rude, get defensive, or sometimes disrespect you. That’s because she is hurt, scared, and damaged. She must be reminiscing the fights and disagreements and could be afraid of committing to you again.
During this time, you need to have patience and empathize with her calmly. Show your kindness and let your wife believe that you sincerely want her to be back and give her space to trust you again. Remember, if you get angry or upset, you both might quarrel again, and that could end your story.
6. Avoid bad history
You must have fought, talked harshly, and hurt each other in several ways. But now you have made up your mind to restart your marriage. So, don’t stress on who was responsible for the separation or who started the fight or who is to be blamed more. Such discussions can create more conflicts. Try to forget the past and concentrate on your present to mend your relationship with your wife better.
7. Woo her again
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Love can fade away without proper nurturing. You can steal your wife’s devotion again by impressing her just the way you did before marriage. Send her flowers, written notes, or take her out for coffee. Pour your love in different ways and remind your wife about the bond you shared and how much you both valued your relationship.
Pandit also talks about arranging surprises and getaways to court her again. He says, “We started planning surprise date nights for each other. It could be as simple as cooking her favorite meal or setting up a movie night under the stars in our backyard. It added an element of excitement and anticipation to our relationship.”
He adds, “Every now and then, we’d plan a spontaneous weekend getaway to a nearby town or city. Getting away from our usual surroundings allowed us to unwind and focus solely on each other.”
Be consistent with your efforts so that your wife becomes optimistic about you and the marriage. Your efforts to impress could convince her to give you a second chance.
8. Marriage counseling
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Couples who got separated on the grounds of cheating, abuse, or other serious reasons might face a lot of difficulty in getting back together. In such a scenario, you can seek help from a marriage counselor. You and your wife talk to each other about relevant topics and issues in the relationship, with support and guidance from the counselor.
Sometimes, your wife might have expectations that she would be hesitant to express. A competent counselor would figure this with tenderness to assist in communication of thoughts and feelings. But remember, the main therapeutic goal is that wife communicates her thoughts to husband, not counselor. Once the counseling begins, both you and your wife can eventually come on the same ground and unite for an improved marraige.
9. Don’t give up
‘Never give up on someone you love.’
Making an effort now to win your wife after separation is better than regretting later. Try every possible thing you know that could get your wife back to you. Love is all about standing up and fighting every moment without running away or giving it up.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Do wives ever come back after separation?
Some consider separation a break from each other and use the time to introspect what went wrong in their relationship. They may come back to you once they sort things out and give you a second chance. Others may move on from the relationship and may not want to get together again.
2. How do I know my wife still loves me after separation?
If your wife still texts you and talks about you and the relationship highly, she still loves you. She maintains openness in meeting you and maintains contact regularly. She also talks about the memories you had together and how much she misses those days.
3. How long should a separation last?
Generally, it is recommended that separation should not last more than three to six months. Extending beyond that might make it difficult to get back together. However, the duration may be a personal choice but get back together only when you’ve resolved your mutual differences and are prepared to accept each other.
4. Should I contact my wife during separation?
Having absolutely no contact during the separation period is not recommended, as it can lead to misunderstanding. Before the separation, discuss with your wife how much communication is required. Stick to the agreed amount and do not overstep the boundaries that have been set.
5. How do I change my wife’s mind about separation?
If you want to try and change your wife’s mind about separation, try communicating openly and honestly. Apologize if you have done anything wrong and help her see how you have changed. Let her know that you are ready to work towards a harmonious relationship. But remember, if your wife shows any signs of discomfort, do not force her to listen to you.
6. What should you not do during separation?
Refrain from moving out of your family home unless you or your children are at risk, threatening or becoming violent towards your partner, cutting your partner’s financial support. Also, avoid signing any documents without a lawyer, do not make any huge purchases, and do not get rid of any property or try to change the ownership of properties.
Separation often allows you to analyze your marriage and relationship from a more positive perspective when you and your wife understand the power of love that still burns within you for each other. Marriage is all about mutual understanding, and both the partners need to have equal honesty in working together towards building a stronger relationship. So you must try to do everything to win back your wife’s heart and work towards making a more favorable decision.
Infographic: Causes Of Separation And Tips To Get Your Wife Back
Marriage is far from a walk in the park. Sometimes, things may go south, pushing you away from your spouse. But if the reason for your separation is something that can be worked on to make an even stronger marriage, the situation is salvageable. Explore the reasons spouses separate and tips to get your wife back if you’re in a similar situation. Illustration: Momjunction Design Team
Key Pointers
- A temporary break from marriage lets you introspect and figure out the cause/s of your separation from your wife.
- Sharing your feelings and listening to your wife patiently supports effective communication and resolves differences.
- Trying to bring changes within you and pouring your love using small gestures by sending her flowers can help you woo her again.
Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team
Do you want to get your wife back after separation? Rekindle your relationship and successfully reconcile with your spouse after a separation, with the expert guidance of Paul Friedman.
Personal Experience: Source
MomJunction articles include first-hand experiences to provide you with better insights through real-life narratives. Here are the sources of personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. How can I make relationship with my wife very spicy?https://medium.com/@bhrigupandit588/how-can-i-make-relationship-with-my-wife-very-spicy-e896743b850c
