‘You can never know if you have been truly in love until you get separated from your partner at least once.’
Marital separation occurs when partners mutually decide to stay apart temporarily. Sometimes, such a phase makes you realize that being in marriage was the best for you. It gives you new hope and the will to hold your wife’s hands, this time forever. You may want to forget and forgive what happened and restart your relationship.
But how do you do it? You may have several questions in your mind — Will she accept me again? How do I reconcile with her? How to get my wife back after separation?
Read on for answers to these questions and a few tips on how to get back with your wife after staying separately for a while.
What Caused The Separation?
It could be easy to sort out the issues with your wife when you figure out the series of events that caused the dissociation. Here are a few common reasons that make couples call for a temporary break or separation.
1. Lack of effort
Marriage needs constant maintenance, just like your home or car would. It is essential to put in the effort and spend some quality time with your spouse to make them feel special and express your feelings and thoughts. Otherwise, the void between you and your spouse could give rise to neglect and unspoken resentments. It could eventually become an underrated reason for separation in the marriage.
2. No communication
The foundation of any relationship is communication. Busy schedules, not expressing the feelings, and not sharing the ups and downs of life with your partner could create a gap. That space could expand with time and lead to misunderstandings that may cause a separation.
3. Abuse or cheating
Infidelity and any form of abuse usually lead to divorce. But in some cases, a partner gives a chance to the relationship and to the spouse who is wrong by calling a separation.
4. Monetary problems
Money could be one of the significant factors that create a crack in the relationship. It could be due to unsaid expectations, financial crunch, or spending habits of your spouse. Financial problems might arise in any situation — even when only one of the partners is earning or both are working — due to various reasons. These problems often arise due to the mismanagement of money and a lack of a financial plan.
Once you figure out the cause that led to your separation, you can start working on it to get your wife back.
Tips To Win Your Wife Back After Separation
You must have hurt your wife by initiating separation, but now you realize her importance. If you want your wife back in your life, you need to earn her love and respect. Here are a few tips on how you can do that.
1. Try to bring changes within you
‘Sometimes, we fail at relationships because we don’t have a good relationship with ourselves.’
There might be some things about you that detached your wife. You need to introspect what you did wrong and rectify it. It is impossible to force her to accept you the way you are when she is already feeling the bitterness of the relationship. Also, you cannot control the outcome of separation. Instead, you can do what’s under your control and try your best to change for the better.
2. Be patient and consistent
Take baby steps and give her time to think positively about you and the relationship. You cannot afford to make more mistakes by getting things done hastily. At the same time, be consistent in making efforts. Let her take her time to forgive you and contemplate what she is missing in life during the separation. Remember, time and effort are the two things required to fight a problem.
3. Share your feelings
Now that you have realized how special the presence of your wife was and you miss her, try to convey the same. Positive communication can create a strong base for your relationship. Rebuild your relationship by reconnecting your thoughts. You can apologize, be friendly, and let your beloved know why you want her back.
4. Listen and rectify
One reason behind your separation could be that you left her unheard and didn’t follow her hints. Maybe she wanted you to tell her how much you love her. Maybe she was expecting you to bring her something.
Sometimes, you might not know what went wrong. Let her talk and be a good listener. While she is talking, do not try to counter-attack or solve her problems. Instead, acknowledge your mistakes, apologize (if you had not), and promise her that you won’t repeat. All these could instill the lost faith and encourage her to get back in your life.
5. Don’t reciprocate negatively
While you are on your track to get your wife back during separation, she might show her unwillingness. She could ignore you, talk rude, get defensive, or sometimes disrespect you. That’s because she is hurt, scared, and damaged. She must be reminiscing the fights and disagreements and could be afraid of committing to you again.
During this time, you need to be patient and respond calmly. Let your wife believe that you sincerely want her to be back and give her space to trust you again. Remember, if you get angry or upset, you both might quarrel again, and that could end your story.
6. Avoid bad history
You must have fought, talked harshly, and hurt each other in several ways. But now you have made up your mind to restart your marriage. So, don’t stress on who was responsible for the separation or who started the fight or who is to be blamed more. Such discussions can create more conflicts. Try to forget the past and concentrate on your present to mend your relationship with your wife better.
7. Woo her again
Love can fade away without proper nurturing. You can steal your wife’s heart again by impressing her just the way you did before marriage. Send her flowers, written notes, or take her out for coffee. Pour your love in different ways and remind your wife about the bond you shared and how much you both valued your relationship.
Be consistent with your efforts so that your wife becomes optimistic about you and the marriage. Your efforts to impress could convince her to give you a second chance.
Couples who got separated on the grounds of cheating, abuse, or other serious reasons might face a lot of difficulty in getting back together. In such a scenario, you can seek help from a marriage counselor. You and your wife talk to each other about relevant topics and issues in the relationship, with support and guidance from the counselor.
Sometimes, your wife might have expectations that she would be hesitant to express. A competent counselor would figure this to assist in communication of thoughts and feelings. But remember, the main therapeutic goal is that wife communicates her thoughts to husband, not counselor. Once the counseling begins, both you and your wife can eventually come on the same ground and unite for an improved marraige.
9. Don’t give up
‘Never give up on someone you love.’
Making an effort now to win your wife after separation is better than regretting later. Try every possible thing you know that could get your wife back to you. Love is all about standing up and fighting every moment without running away or giving it up.
Separation can heal your marriage when you and your wife understand the power of love. Do whatever it takes to win your wife, and then let her make the decision. After all, marriage is about mutual understanding, and both the partners need to work together for a successful marriage.