You feel devastated when you realize being cheated by the one with whom you had entrusted all your love. Your world starts shattering around you when you see the promises of life-long togetherness vanish in thin air. So, how to get over someone who cheated on you? No matter how painful the heartbreak is, you need to gather all your strength, dust out your dreams with your beloved, and move on. You must not let someone’s betrayal steal your share of joy and happiness. Also, the love that shackles your dreams and aspirations is not worth experiencing. We share some tips to help you get over the one who cheated on you in this post. Read on to discover your brand-new self. Remember, your partner should let you bloom and not wither.
11 Tips To Get Over Someone Who Cheated On You
1. Accept your feelings
Someone rightly said, “Accept how you feel, but don’t let your feelings rule you.”
You could be going through a lot and must be feeling betrayed, disappointed, and angry about everything that happened to you. Sometimes, you could be questioning yourself too.
These emotions are reasonable, and it is not easy to cope with those feelings. Acceptance is part of the healing process. It’s okay if you are angry or upset. Try to process those feelings by letting them out. You can talk to a friend or a family member and express yourself freely. It would help you connect with your inner self and let you come out of the situation.
2. Say no to blaming
Blaming yourself, your partner, or a third person for whatever happened to your relationship will do nothing but make you fall into a zone of negativity. There could be various reasons why your partner cheated on you. Digging into the past to find what went wrong could hurt you more.
If your significant other couldn’t communicate what went wrong and you couldn’t sense it coming your way, it is not your fault. Try putting a lock on your past and prepare yourself to look at what’s in front of you.
3. Take time for yourself
It is difficult to digest the fact that your relationship is broken. The flashes of your romantic relationship would come to you time and again—That restaurant where you and your partner used to enjoy dinners, that garden where you used to go for walks, and those gifts you exchanged with your partner. Everything would keep reminding you about your relationship and how your partner cheated on you.
Take a break from what you are doing, remind yourself of your resilience, and do something kind for yourself. Snap out of the past and take time for yourself. It is also okay to do nothing. Give yourself a few weeks to comfort yourself the best way you know how because positive changes may not happen in a day or two. Spend this time to handle yourself and do things that you love.
4. Talk and close
You might want some answers after getting on your feet and before moving ahead on the new path. Give a chance to yourself and your partner to talk about it instead of carrying the burden of wrong assumptions. However, it may take a little bit of courage as it could be a painful step since you do not know what’s coming your way. Have that last conversation only when you are confident that you can gulp the truth and get over it. And if you don’t want it, that’s ok too.
It is okay if you do not want to go back. Each of us is different and has different ways of dealing with situations. So, do what is comfortable for you.
5. Cut all ties
When you have your reasons and are fair and square with the closure, it’s time to let go of the relationship with your partner from all mediums for a peaceful mind. Don’t message or call them under any circumstances, unfollow them (and their family members) on all the social media platforms, and don’t try to check on their life. It could be difficult, loneliness may sometimes creep in, but it is undoubtedly a positive one for your mental state. It will also help you move ahead and connect with other people who deserve you, care for you, and love you.
6. Work on yourself
Sadness is a natural feeling. You may feel distressed, go through self-doubt, despair, and worry about the future. But you need to get away from those negative feelings as a process of healing.
Oscar Wilde, an Irish poet, said, “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”
Begin with understanding your importance and self-worth. An anonymous blogger talks about his experiences of breaking up with the girl who was cheating on him. Despite being the one that got hurt, he never lost sight of his self-worth. He says, “I still know my worth. Many would say that letting her back after the first time was me being a doormat, but I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. I never lost sight of my own worth (i).”
7. Forgive your ex
Once you are back on your feet, you need to ask yourself if you can forgive your ex. Although it’s not easy to forget and forgive someone who cheated on you, holding on to the bitterness from the past relationship may not help either. You may not be able to trust anyone if you still hold onto the memories. It is essential to leave behind those negative thoughts to begin a new journey. So, try to forgive your partner and show empathy if you can. It will help you get over the past and be prepared for the future. Who knows, later on, when everything is alright, there could also be scope for friendship.
8. Don’t rush on things
It’s okay if something from your previous relationship is still bothering you. It takes time to get over the fact that your partner has cheated on you. Do not pressurize yourself; let everything happen at its own pace. You may talk about it with someone you trust, such as a friend or a family member. Sometimes, you may be forced to hide your emotions because you’re surrounded by insensitive people who may use phrases such as ‘man up’ or ‘get over it.’ To this, the anonymous author of the blog says, “Phrases like that invalidate emotions that are perfectly valid. Why should I hide my emotions? Something bad happened to me; I sometimes feel sad as a result, and that is 100% okay.”
9. Don’t fall into a bleak zone
Being a victim of disloyalty should not define your future. You shouldn’t be harsh on yourself or others by not trusting anyone again. Do not stereotype men or women based on your past. Do not lose hope and don’t let your previous relationship affect your new relations.
It is essential to come out of the state of grief, depression, resentment, and anger to get over someone who cheated on you. Have the farsightedness to look at the positive aspects of your life and think of what you can do to get your life back on track.
10. Find a good therapist
It is fine to visit a therapist. After being cheated on, you would require emotional support. If you are unable to find someone, then look for professionals who can help ease your pain and talk to you about anything you want. A therapist will not judge you, and you can vent out anything that is still pinching you about your relationship. There are even support groups that you could join and find motivation for life. Don’t shy away from seeking an emotional connection, as it is essential to bring positivity in life.
11. Reconnect and rebuild intimacy
What if your partner regrets their actions and requests you give them another chance? If you feel you can forgive them and get over the painful past, you can give it another shot. However, you need to ensure that you establish clear and non-negotiable rules beforehand. Ensure that your partner knows what is acceptable and what is not in your relationship. Remember that trust should come before intimacy. Once you trust your partner wholeheartedly, work on rebuilding the lost intimacy. It may not be easy, but give yourself time and be patient in your approach. No matter what situation you find yourself in, avoid bringing up the past, as it can ruin the peace in your relationship.
How Long Does It Take To Get Over Being Cheated On?
Healing does not happen overnight and takes time.
- In the discovery phase of six weeks, a surge of emotions like anger, sadness, and frustration may take over, urging the need for open conversations about the affair.
- As you step into the reaction stage for up to six months, it may be the time to grieve the loss of the old relationship and focus on empathy and better communication.
- Moving forward to the release phase from the ninth to the 12th month, understanding the root causes of the betrayal becomes vital, setting the stage for contemplating forgiveness.
- Finally, the recommitment stage may occur between 12 and 18 months, wherein you consciously decide to rebuild a stronger relationship, seeing the affair as a turning point for growth.
There is no fixed time to move on from hurt. Everybody has their own period. According to the anonymous author who got cheated on, “Grief, I learned, is non-linear. It will go, and it will come back. Sometimes I’ll be perfectly happy doing the food shopping and get depressed over a memory of us doing it together. There’s no predicting when this will happen.” Recovery and moving on demands patience, therapy, and self-care to navigate this journey.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How does being cheated on affect a person?
When a person gets cheated on in a relationship, they feel anxious and betrayed. They develop trust issues with others and question their self-esteem and self-worth. Sometimes, a person may develop toxic emotions, such as jealousy and insecurity, and act out bitter, angry, and irritable. These behavioral changes can affect an individual’s mental health and expose them to issues such as increased distress and depression.
2. What does cheating say about a person?
Cheating is often habitual. So if a person cheats once, they will likely cheat again. People cheat due to poor self-esteem and selfishness. Cheating others is a sheer reflection of an individual’s lack of respect and gratitude towards others. Sometimes people cheat due to their dissatisfaction within a relationship. However, in most cases, an individual cheats because they keep their needs above everything else.
3. Can a relationship go back to normal after cheating?
Forgiving infidelity isn’t easy. However, it is possible provided the cheating partner is guilty of their past actions and will be mindful of their actions in the future. Here, a cheating partner’s efforts alone will not help. Instead, both the partners should be willing to leave the past behind and work towards reconciliation. It will be difficult initially, and couples may experience trust issues and insecurity. However, sharing their feelings and expectations can help them build a healthy relationship.
Getting over an ex who cheated on you is challenging as they might have left you with a scar in your heart. However, getting over them is crucial to eventually find someone who would respect and reciprocate your love. By giving a chance to an unfaithful person, you are letting go of the opportunity to find an individual worthy of your love and trust. We suggest the above few tips on “how to get over someone who cheated on you.” Remember, this process might take time. But with the right effort, patience and consistency, you will be able to get over them and start a new life by being the new stronger “you.”
Infographic: How To Get Over The One Who Cheated On You
Getting cheated on is difficult to deal with as it can lead you to question many things. But, you must bring yourself out of this phase and look towards the positive things in life. Although it is easier said than done, we bring you an infographic with a few tips you can keep handy while trying to get over someone who cheated on you.
- Getting over someone who cheated on you requires you to focus on yourself, accept the situation and work towards moving on for your better.
- Being aware of some practical tips and having a supportive friend and family circle could help you deal with this situation.
- Primarily, it is important to stop blaming anyone, take some time to heal and work on yourself.