When you regret breaking up with your partner, you tend to miss them always and long for all the good times you have had together.
That can make you sad and wonder if the decision to break up was wrong. Breaking up does not always mark the end of a relationship, at least not for all. Does this mean you can get your ex back into your life?
If you are wondering how to reunite with your ex-partner, this MomJunction post is for you. Here, we tell you if it is possible to get back together after a breakup and give you a few tips on how to get your ex back.
Do Exes Ever Come Back?
This depends on how your relationship was, what caused a breakup, and how bad or easy your breakup was. If your relationship was strong and lasted long before you broke up over petty issues or misunderstandings, then there is a chance you both might set aside the silly differences and reunite. But if there are serious issues such as cheating or abuse involved, then the chances are less.
But that’s not it. Just as you want to get back together, your ex must want it too. If they have moved on and are in a relationship with somebody else, then you need to respect their decision and let them be. Otherwise, it would be a one-way street, and no amount of coercion or begging will bring them back.
How To Get Your Ex Back?
Here, we have listed some tips to help you out. Don’t be in a rush to try everything at once for your ex. Instead, follow a step-by-step approach as that may eventually help you to get your ex-partner back to you.
1. Evaluate your problems
What was the reason for your breakup? Figure it out, and if there is anything you can do to fix the problem, do it. If petty disagreements were the reason you broke up, find out what you can do or change to fix the conflict, and then talk to your ex about it.
When your ex sees that you are willing to make an effort to change for them, they may also start thinking about moving back together with you.
2. Ask yourself certain questions
After a breakup, it is not an easy task to patch up with your ex as you have to be the one making amends. And before anything, you should ask yourself a few important questions. Are you ready to compromise? Can you set your ego aside? Are you willing to make all the adjustments while your ex may refuse to do so?
If your answer to every question is a ‘yes,’ then it becomes easier for you to move ahead and reconcile with your ex.
3. Don’t belittle them
You might have argued and fought a lot with each other before you broke up. But if you want to look forward to a happy new chapter of your relationship, you should not put your partner down now.
Even if you are still angry with them, try not to hold on to your negative emotions. Avoid lashing out at your partner if you want to patch up and set aside all the bitterness for a fresh restart.
4. Take it slow
It is not easy to get back together with your ex after breaking up. Emotions run high when you are in the relationship and even after your breakup. So don’t be impulsive. Take it slow with your actions, and avoid compulsive texting, calling, and meeting. Pause at every step of the way, analyze the responses of your every action, and then move forward.
If you rush too much and are being pushy, your ex may misunderstand your actions and back off even further.
5. Try to be practical
It must have been all fun and romance when you were in a relationship. But when you break up, romance takes a backseat, and everything becomes practical. So, you need to think of practical ideas to get your ex back. For instance, talk to them about what they want from you and express what you are expecting, forgive their actions that hurt you, and keep your expectations low. These might help your partner think positively about you and your feelings.
6. Start afresh
Though you have been in a relationship with them previously, now you may have to start everything new. Depending on how long you’ve been apart, a lot of things may have changed between the two of you. How you feel and think, what you expect, and your present status– all these things may have changed and could affect your chances of getting back together.
So, try to start your relationship a fresh. Talk to them to know them better, ask questions, and try to know what they feel. Make your partner feel that everything is new, even though the relationship is old. When they experience the freshness, it becomes easier for them to come back to you.
7. Build the trust in your ex
Partners do not trust one another as they did in the past after they end the relationship. If you are trying to get your ex back, it means that you still trust them. But do they trust you? Do they think that you can commit this time? If not, you need to build the broken trust and instill that confidence in them.
So, apologize for your past and assure them that they will not be repeated. Clear any misunderstandings by talking quietly and not in resentment or anger. When they see you mean what you say, they might be able to trust you again.
8. Stay available for them
Now that you have initiated things to get back your partner, your partner might have certain doubts. They may wonder why you want to get back together or what your motives are. They may even question your feelings and may want to talk to you about them to know if you are sincere.
So, be available for them and answer their questions patiently without losing your calm. Be as clear as possible to help them understand where you’re coming from.
9. Be ready to accept the changes
Don’t assume that things will get back to how they once were. Even if you get back with your ex, it will be a new chapter in your relationship. So, there might be some changes in your partner or the relationship itself that you may have difficulty accepting.
At such times, try to look at the positives of what you have, have faith in your relationship, and be open to all the changes that may come across. And if necessary, come out of your comfort zone too.
10. Make them comfortable
You could be meeting your partner long after the breakup. Even though you’re both looking forward to reuniting, the meeting could be a little awkward. So, initiate a conversation and make them feel at ease before bringing up the idea or topic of getting back together.
Try not to bring in the negativity back from the past. There is a long way to go after you get back together. So, starting on a positive note can be a good idea.
11. Focus on yourself
You want a future with your ex. And the only way to make it work is to be true to yourself – to be who you are. Don’t pretend to be someone else to make yourself appealing to them. While that appeal or charm may work for a while, it won’t last in the long run.
Try and be the best version of yourself. Avoid portraying yourself as the sad lover or the needy one looking for happiness around. Be confident, independent, and respectable. When you are your own person and want to share happiness with them, your ex could be more than willing to give the relationship a try.
These tips are only to help you get your ex’s attention and interest and could work if they still have any feelings for you. But if they have moved on and are with someone else, avoid interfering in their current relationship or trying to break their relationship. That is not only unethical but could also backfire when your ex finds out that you meddled with their happiness.
You could get back together if the love between you two is still alive. Otherwise, focus on yourself and your life, and you could find someone else who will make you happy.
Do you have any tips to share with our readers? Please write to us in the comment section below.
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