How To Get Your Husband Back After Separation

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A wedding is all about hopes and plans to live together happily ever after. But sometimes, things don’t work as you plan. When your marriage matters go as far as separation, you may want to know how to get your husband back after separation. It is possible to patch up your broken relationship if both parties are willing to put in deliberate effort.

Probably you both separated, thinking that’s the best decision for you, but then you start realizing that there is a vacuum in your life. However, before trying to reunite with your husband, think about whether that longing is genuine. Assess your feelings and if you think that the urge to be with your husband is real, go all-out to reach that goal. This post will help you get your husband back in your life with ease.

Do Husbands Come Back After Separation?

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The answer to this question may depend on the kind of relationship you share with your husband, the situations that caused you to separate, and the amount of effort you are willing to put in to rekindle your past relationship.

Marriage is a commitment where partners promise to share their lives, but challenges may creep in, leading to misunderstandings and loss of trust. In such difficult situations, separation might seem inevitable. So, if your husband decides to take a break from marriage, it does not mean that the relationship has ended.

In some cases, separation may act as a breather for couples. Staying away from each other may help your husband see things from a different perspective and value your companionship.

So, if you want reunification with your husband after separation, it will be a good idea to think thoroughly about it. You must be willing to settle things positively and make a difference in your relationship. Sit back and ponder over the things that can make your bond stronger than before. Do not be in a hurry to reestablish the relationship. Think deeply and take your time to reignite the spark in your relationship.

Point to consider

Analyze the reasons for your relationship having failed. International studies have found that marrying too young, communication issues, incompatibility, spousal abuse, religious differences, inability to get along, and absence of love, are some of the major causes of separation (1).

12+ Tips To Get Your Husband Back After Separation

If you are keen to rebuild your relationship and get your husband back in your life, you need to build love, trust, and respect. Here are a few tips that may help you in reestablishing your past journey.

1. Change your perspective

Your husband has decided to move on because of some problems in the relationship. These problems might be related to you, your husband, or both. Changing your husband’s thoughts is not under your control. However, if you wish for your husband to return after separation, the most important thing is to bring changes in yourself. Without altering the way you think and feel, you might not be able to change much about your relationship even after reconnecting with your husband.

So, try to look at the positive aspects of any situation. Reestablishing love with your husband may become easier once you change your perspective. However, ensure to maintain your individuality. Remember, changing your perspective does not mean changing your uniqueness.

Do remember

Do your best to avoid falling into old habits, as it may only lead to the realization that you and your spouse will always fail as a couple.

2. Show respect

Sometimes, married couples start taking each other for granted. In times of anger or frustration, they might misbehave with their partners and treat them with disrespect. Nobody appreciates being disrespected. So, if you have been treating your husband unfairly, rectify your mistakes by slowly modifying your actions. Make your husband feel valued and respected for rekindling love. That said, do not forget to expect the same respect from your husband too.

Carlene, a wife and blogger from South Africa, appreciates how her husband respects her and how it remains pivotal in their relationship. She says, “He respects me! I love how he treats me, every word that comes out of my mouth is important to him. He listens to every comment, opinion, choice and decision and takes everything I say into account before giving his opinion or explaining to me why he may not agree. I love that, I could not imagine how hard it would be or how frustrated I would be if he didn’t respect or listen to me (i).”

3. Communicate clearly and confront the problems

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Rekindling friendship is also an essential aspect of getting your husband back after separation. Communication is the foundation of a relationship. When partners stop talking about mundane things, feelings, or dreams, they grow apart from each other. This will leave them unaware of each other’s feelings, and the marriage will end eventually. Therefore, rekindling the friendship that brought you together in the first place is crucial to rebuilding your relationship and restoring the lines of communication.

For rekindling your marriage, work on positive and effective communication with your husband. Share your thoughts and feelings. Confront your problems and find an effective solution that works for both of you. Sorting out differences together will help you bond with each other deeper and create a better understanding.

4. Be patient and give him time

When it comes to rekindling a relationship with your husband after a separation, it’s important to remember that rushing things can be counterproductive. Your separation from your husband probably occurred because either or both of you were overwhelmed by each other. So, when thinking of reconciling, do not be in a hurry. Give your husband some time to think about restarting the relationship. Be patient and consistent in your efforts. Understand that your husband may need some time to think before getting back to you. It will give him clarity and help sort out the problems before reconnecting.

5. Stop complaining

The last thing you would want to do while trying to reconnect with your husband is persisting with your complaints and resorting to the blame game. So, let accusations take a back seat. Create an environment at home where everyone feels appreciated. Find out opportunities to praise each other. If you continue this habit, you will soon find more happiness and joy around you. Appreciating your husband for his good deeds will encourage him in rekindling romance in the relationship and help in fostering the bond.

6. Listen to him

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Giving undivided attention to a person means you value and respect them. So, if you have been busy in your own world and have not been attentive to your husband, it is time to change that. Marriage is a union of two individuals, so your husband would want you to listen to him as much as you would want him to listen to you. Rekindling trust in your relationship can be achieved by creating a safe space for your partner to express their emotions without fear of judgment and by actively listening to them. These steps can greatly strengthen your relationship.

7. Stop being dramatic

Being dramatic will ruin your efforts to get back with your husband. So, be honest and genuine in your approach. Do not run after your husband, constantly pleading with him to come back to you.Also, do not involve family and friends to convince him, which may make you look needy. Be confident and graceful in your actions. Stay patient when you are trying to reconcile with your husband. However, do not compromise on your self-respect while trying to get back with your husband. Reconciliation requires both parties to be willing to work on the issues and make amends for any wrongdoings.

8. Learn new skills

If you are living on your own post the separation, use your time productively and learn new skills. When people are in love, they devote all their time and energy to the relationship and stop trying to evolve and become better. Learning new skills and working on personal growth will help strengthen your relationship. So, work on yourself and learn new skills, and your husband will be allured by the positive changes.

9. Stop digging the past

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Your husband may have hurt you in the past. However, blaming him for what happened in the past would do no good for your relationship. So, practice forgiveness. Get over the past and focus on new things for rekindling affection in your broken relationship.

10. Be consistent in your efforts

Rekindling tenderness can be a gradual process in rebuilding a marriage. It might be possible that your husband would have separated because of bitterness in the relationship. So, it may take him time and effort to overcome this feeling and get back to you. So, be consistent. Don’t lose hope even if your husband does not want to give the marriage a second chance. Try to make him realize how beautiful it would be to start the relationship again. Visualize a lovely life together and stay hopeful. However, always maintain your dignity while doing so. Do not appear deprived and needy in front of your partner.

11. Focus on yourself

Happiness attracts love and positivity. So, stay happy to attract your husband back into your life. Find ways to make yourself feel good. Take out time to pamper yourself. Invest in things that add value to your life. Stop whining about your misfortunes and find gratitude and happiness in taking care of yourself. Nothing can be more attractive to your husband than your joy and exuberance.

12. Consult an expert

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If you cannot solve your problems on your own, try taking the help of a professional. Sometimes, it isn’t easy to express your feelings and emotions to your partner. Seeking help from an expert will give you the unhindered space to disclose your feelings. An expert can help you handle the situation better with their experience. They can listen to you and your husband and give insights into the underlying problems. So, don’t hesitate to meet a counselor and sort out all issues together.

13. Relinquish control

Letting go of control means not trying to force things when you want to reconnect with your husband after separation. Instead of telling him what to do or trying to make everything go your way, give him space to be himself. It’s like allowing a plant to grow independently instead of trying to pull it in a certain direction. By doing this, you create an opportunity for you to think and grow individually. Good communication and understanding are important to rebuild trust. Also, making positive changes in yourself will eventually reflect in your relationship. Remember, every relationship is unique. So, you may seek help from someone like a counselor to get our relationship back on track.

Infographic: How To Get Your Husband Back After Separation?

A misunderstanding or a petty argument should not stop you from mending an otherwise hopeful and happy marriage. So if a rough patch in your marriage caused you to separate from your husband, use these tips to approach him in a way that he understands and remembers the love that brought you together.

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team

Are you seeking guidance for reconciliation with your husband after a separation? Don’t worry, this video will provide you with steps to help you reunite with your husband.

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Jessica JeffersonMA, MS, LMFT

Jessica Jefferson is a licensed marriage and family therapist and a certified perinatal mental health professional who is trained to help clients suffering from mental health disorders like anxiety and depression. She graduated with a Bachelors in Psychology from the University of Miami, a Masters in Psychology in Education from Teachers College, Columbia University and a Masters in Family Therapy...more

Shikha ThakurMBA

Shikha is a writer-turned-editor at MomJunction, with over seven years of experience in the field of content. Having done a certification in Relationship Coaching, her core interest lies in writing articles that guide couples through their courtship to marriage and parenthood. She also specializes in baby names. A postgraduate in Human Resources from Jawaharlal Nehru Technological University, she likes understanding...more

Siddharth KesirajuMA, Certification in Relationship Coaching

Siddharth holds a certification in Relationship Coaching and a masters degree in communication and journalism from the University of Hyderabad. He has around seven years of experience in various fields of writing and editing. As an associate editor at MomJunction, Siddharth writes on Relationship and edits the writers' articles to meet the website's editorial standards. Previously, he worked in the...more

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Praven is an English literature expert. He did his bachelors in English from Delhi University and masters in English from Manipur University. Besides, he holds a certificate in multimedia design and content creation from NIELIT Imphal and presented papers at various national and international conferences. With nearly two years of experience, Praven writes on topics related to English literature and...more