How do you love your husband? Should you follow a given format, should you follow your mother, or should you follow your heart? Love comes naturally to us. We don’t love our man because somebody tells us to love him. You need to get that feeling from inside; you should feel that the man deserves your love.
Once you are in that mode of emotional attachment, you don’t have to search for answers outside. Ask yourself, “How to love my husband”, and you know how you can do it. However, over the years some common traits have emerged from women who have been madly in love with their husbands.
In this post, MomJunction has compiled several such traits to develop a guide on how to love your husband. We also tell you how you can try to bring in those feelings once again if there has been some unpleasantness in the relationship. At the end, do not miss to take our quiz to check how much you love your partner.
How To Love Your Husband Better:
Yes, we are saying ‘better’ because we know you already love your husband, and you want to develop it further. So, want to know how to love your husband more? Here we have listed a few easy and practical ones:
1. Have confidence in yourself:
You read it right. You need to be confident about your love. You need to be confident that you are the right person for your partner and you need to believe that your husband loves you more than anybody else. This will give you the courage to not only love your husband but also express it to him.
[ Read: How To Respect Your Husband ]
2. Love him unconditionally:
Do not wait for him to meet certain criteria. Love is not an input-output machine. You cannot wait for him to buy you a diamond set or take you on a pleasure trip before you start loving him. You can shower him with love irrespective of whether or not he is meeting your expectations, because love is an emotion that cannot be controlled.
3. Spend quality time together:
Things won’t work if you are busy with your work, and he is immersed in his. Make sure you spend at least an hour together every day. Allocate some time for him, ask him how his day has been and tell him about yours, update him on the gossip, or simply discuss about the news. Do things that interest both of you, but the crux is to spend time together.
4. Seek his opinion:
You have got two job offers at hand. You may be clear about which one to take, but do not decide before seeking your husband’s opinion. Listen to what he says as he might have analyzed the two offers and would give you a new insight into them. Value his opinion. If you still want to do things your way, then discuss your point with him and arrive at a consensus.
5. Show you care:
You don’t have to wait for him to fall sick to show that you care for him. Wake him up in the morning with a cup of coffee, welcome him home pleasingly, or give him a warm massage. All these gestures show that you care for him.
6. Heat up the intimate moments:
How to make passionate love to your husband? Show him what you can do to please him. Surprise him with your moves. Make him ask for more, and let him long for that pleasure when he is away from you. Be bold, make the first moves, and see how he would enjoy those moments. And don’t stop just there. Tell him what you want from him, encourage him to be naughty with you so that you can enjoy sex as much as he does.
[ Read: How To Impress Your Husband ]
7. Listen to him:
Allow him to speak, and listen to what he is saying. Understand his point of view, instead of jumping to conclusions. In this way, even the biggest differences between you can be settled amicably.
8. Put him first:
It doesn’t mean that you sacrifice your slice of pizza and give it to him. It means you think about him before you take any decision or take up any task. A simple example could be the menu for the day. Before you cook, think if he would like to eat broccoli or spinach that day. When buying a dress, think if your husband would like it.
9. A little PDA is fine:
Let the world know that you love him. Talk good things about him; tell your friends and family about his achievements and talents. Do not hesitate to hold his hand or look at him and give a pleasing smile when you are going out with him. These small gestures will make him confident about your love and feel proud of it.
10. Give him some privacy:
Do not pry on him by reading his messages or listening to his conversations out of curiosity. When he is going out with his friends, do not be too inquisitive to find out who his friends are. He will update you on things that may directly relate to you; he would also talk to you about his friends and work as and when he can. However, you might have to slightly bend this rule if you suspect him of infidelity or secrecy.
11. Become his best friend:
You don’t have to worry about the above point if you are his best friend. He knows you are the go-to person whenever he has something to share or seek advice. You can become his friend by gaining his trust, by supporting and not criticizing him, by being there for him when he is trying to reach his goals.
12. Keep laughing:
Laugh together. Develop a sense of humor, watch some funny videos, and enjoy the moments. There could be things that only the two of you understand and laugh at. Remember, a couple that laughs together stays together.
[ Read: Things Shouldn’t Say To Husband ]
13. It is a roller coaster ride:
Not all moments in your life are worth laughing. There are ups and downs in any relationship, and marriage is no exception. You will have your set of disagreements, arguments, and quarrels. But you will still be able to love your husband if you do not get bogged down by such petty matters. Do not end up feeling depressed and hopeless.
How many of these have you ticked on already? You may try working on the others, while continuing to do the ones that you have been doing. But does your husband know that you love him immensely?
How To Express Your Love For Him:
Certain gestures will help you express your love for your husband. After all, wouldn’t you want him to know how much you love him?
1. Play with him:
Play a game of cards or tennis or any game of his interest. If he is a fitness freak, work out with him whether at home or at the gym. Doing activities of your husband’s interest will bring you closer to him. He will appreciate your efforts.
2. Dress up the way he likes:
Buy a few clothes of his choice. Ask him what he wants you to wear, seek his help in shopping for you. You may wear these clothes when you are going out with him. Also, buy some sexy clothes and give him a surprise during your private moments. All these gestures are a manifestation of your love for him.
3. Surprise him with a gift:
Don’t always be a receiver, be a giver too. Give your husband some useful gifts. Observe his tastes, and understand what he needs. This will help you buy him all the right things. He will be glad to take those gifts from you.
4. Love letters:
When was the last time you penned down something for your husband? Love letters may be an old idea in the WhatsApp era but are still relevant. A beautiful, handwritten letter can convey your feelings like no app does.
[ Read: Qualities Of A Good Wife ]
5. Take some lessons from him:
Well, in addition to the love lessons, you may also ask him to teach a game or art he is good at. Ask him to teach you to drive a car, paint on a canvas, or do a craft. The idea is for both of you to spend some quality time, and for you to appreciate his talents.
6. You don’t need a reason to hug and kiss:
Do not wait for the bed time to hug or kiss him. Steal a few moments here and there to kiss him, hug him when he or you are going out, kiss him when he is back from work, give a naughty look to tell him that you are thinking about him, entwine in his arms when you are sleeping. Getting physical will increase your intimacy.
7. Do not react:
When your husband is irritable or has lost his temper, do not react by retorting. Wait for the moments to pass, and let him cool down. In fact, your silence will make him normal sooner than later as he will realize his fault. Talk about the matter after things settle down. This will increase his respect for you.
Your relationship remains strong when things are all fine and when life is going smoothly. But the bond is tested when it has to face turbulences.
How To Love Your Husband Again:
Turbulences come in the form of financial, emotional, or physical problems. What would you do if he has lost his job, or he has cheated on you, or you lost interest in him because you have cheated on him?
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. – Mignon McLaughlin
Do not lose hope as things can be worked out again, provided you have the zeal to rebuild your relationship, and you still love and care for each other.
1. Look at the good things in him:
The fact that you have willingly married him means that you like certain aspects of him. You must have liked his nature, looks, behavior, or something else. Look at those positives, and you might realize he isn’t as bad as you thought him to be.
2. Control your urge to criticize him:
When you begin seeing the good things in your husband, you will stop criticizing him. And when you stop criticizing, you will be able to see good things in him. Both are intertwined. You criticize him because you want to have that negative opinion about him. But when you resolve to love him again, the negativity diminishes.
3. Understand his perspective:
Imagine, your husband has suggested that you should go to your parents’ place for a few days. He might have made the suggestion with a good intention to give you a break, but you might have thought that he is sending you away so that he can chill with his friends. Do not jump to conclusions, instead be matured enough to understand your husband’s point of view.
[ Read: Intimacy In Marriage ]
4. Go back in time:
You may be drifting away from your husband now, but there was a time when you couldn’t take your eyes and hands off each other. Think about those good times in your lives when you both went on romantic holidays, had sensuous dates, or simply cozied up together in a quilt at home watching your favorite TV programs. They will rekindle your feelings, and you might want to give the relationship a try again.
5. Do not hold feelings against him:
Did he miss a promise to take you on a holiday? Is he so unromantic that he never bothers to bring you a bunch of roses? Don’t hold such incidents against him. Maybe he is unromantic by nature, maybe he does not know how to express his love for you but maybe he is still loving you. You may let go off such minor disappointments if you are sure of the love and affection he has for you.
6. Accept him as he is:
No two minds think alike, and so is the case with you and your husband. He may not remember to hang his wet towel or switch off the light behind him. You may be a vegetarian but he does not believe in giving up his love for non-vegetarian foods. These minor differences are alright because it is almost impossible to get a clone for a partner. Isn’t it?
7. Confront but be mindful of your words:
Being nice to him does not mean that you ignore his misdeeds. If you suspect his fidelity or some other wrongdoing, then you should confront him. Ask him why he has chosen to be dishonest or wrongful. But before that make sure that your suspicions are right, and you are not being misled by anybody or anything. Use the right words to convey the message to him that you know what he is doing and you are not pleased with it.
The very fact that you are making an effort to rekindle your love means you are serious about your relationship. Do not misunderstand it to be a compromise that you are making. If you have any doubts about your relationship, this quiz will allay them all. Take the test and look at the score (given in brackets).
What Is Your Score?
1. Do you still find your husband sexy and hot?
a. Super hot (10)
b. He is fine (5)
c. No, I don’t (0)
2. Do you enjoy having sex with him?
a. It’s great (10)
b. It’s good but used to be better in the past (5)
c. Not sure (0)
3. Do you miss your husband when he or you are away?
a. I miss a lot (10)
b. I usually miss him (5)
c. I am too busy to miss him (0)
4. Do you both laugh together when you talk?
a. We share a great sense of humor (10)
b. We do it sometimes (5)
c. We don’t have anything in common to laugh (0)
5. If given a chance, would you remarry your husband?
a. Yes, without a doubt (10)
b. Maybe yes (5)
c. Maybe not (0)
6. How often do you argue with your husband?
a. We never argue as we both think alike always (10)
b. We argue sometimes on serious matters (5)
c. We argue almost every day (0)
7. How do you settle your differences?
a. We sit and talk (10)
b. We leave it hanging (5)
c. We yell at each other (0)
8. How well do you know your husband?
a. I know everything about him (10)
b. I know everything that is important about him (5)
c. I don’t know much about him (0)
9. What is the one thing that you want to change about him?
a. I accept him as he is, so do not want to change anything (10)
b. There are a few things to change but I am fine (5)
c. I want to change everything about him (0)
If your score is 90 out of 90, then you are perfect and continue with what you are doing. If your score is 45, you are going good, and may strive towards a higher score. If you are in between 90 and 45, you are doing a great job as a wife. And if your score is between 45 and 0, you might want to see how you can improve your relationship.
[ Read: Tips To Make Marriage Happy ]
See if these beautiful quotes will inspire you to love your husband better:
Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife. – Franz Schubert
“A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” – Dave Meurer
There is no remedy for love but to love more.” – Henry David Thoreau
Love has evolved since the times of Adam and Eve. There are innumerable people getting married and falling in love every day. While each one’s love story is different, the feeling of love is the same. So, see how you can multiply that feeling for your husband.
Want to share your love story? Do tell us in the comment section below.
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