A rocky relationship can test your ability to reason and power to express. Relationships work two ways—give and take. However, if you are the one who is constantly giving, and he is only receiving, things need to be put into perspective. Being taken advantage of in a relationship can be a dampener, and leaving that unattended can spell disaster.
If you feel your man isn’t putting in the effort to make you feel loved, get the message across subtly so that he works on it or risk losing you. Keep reading this post as we share some ways to make him realize he is losing you.
21 Ways To Make Him Realize He Is Losing You
1. Stop pampering him
Men sometimes might get too comfortable in a setup and start taking you for granted. Make your partner realize your importance. Stop doing things that you usually do for him. If you cook his favorite dishes, iron his shirts, or brew coffee for him—stop it for a while. What’s the point in working on something when you are not appreciated. Be prepared with witty answers for his ‘why’ and enjoy the triggering reactions. For starters, how about, “I haven’t signed up to babysit in our relationship, have I?”
2. Trim the physical intimacy
Withhold physical intimacy. Sex is important, and withholding ‘physical treats’ can get his mind into the attention mode. Saying “no” to those intimate moments and showing less interest can build an invisible barrier, which he would want to break.
3. Up your flirty side
Indulge in harmless flirting with other men in your friend circle. Such an act can get him worried. Make him notice that there are men out there who enjoy your company. If he cares for you and loves you, it will be his wake-up call. He will realize his mistake and start putting more effort into fortifying the relationship. However, do not go overboard.
4. Do the unexpected
If he expects you to be there for everything that he plans or does, give him the slip. Show him that your presence cannot be assumed and that you have a life of your own. Avoid verbal confrontations surrounding such lapses.
5. Chase that hobby
Take up that hobby that you have always wanted to pursue, even if it means traveling long distances or shutting yourself out to him for hours. The pleasure you get will reflect in your persona, and that would make him want you more.
6. Be indifferent
Many women end up hurting themselves when they go overboard with their communication. Give yourself a break. Turn on your silent mode. You need not respond to his texts instantly with a rally of emoticons. Delay answering his phone calls, and overlook video calls. Make him understand you aren’t available all the time. Assuming he is sensible enough, he’ll wonder what’s wrong.
7. Exclude him from your plans
If you always plan things together, throw him a bouncer by planning something that does not include him. It could be a night out with your gang of girls or other male friends. Spring him a surprise by announcing your plan as you step out of the door. Dress up and enjoy the outing or take up that trip you have always dreamed of. Make sure he understands what he is missing.
8. Become the trophy
Think about the reason why he fell in love with you. It wasn’t because you cooked for him or pampered him. He chased you as a prize and won your feelings. Unfortunately, this aspect takes a backseat if you mold yourself according to what ‘you think’ he likes. So, if it’s your confidence, your personality, or the Bohemian trait that he fell for, nurture it. Retain that quality of yours he was drawn to, and he will strive to preserve it.
9. Be care ‘free’
Stop giving him importance. Don’t show him that you care. If you routinely ask him about his experiences through the day or about his feelings, hold yourself. Do not ask him for reasons when he feels low. Pretend you are least worried. If you wait for him to have dinner together, give it a skip. Tell him you have already eaten.
10. Make small changes to your appearance
Changes in your appearance are something he is bound to notice. Hit the gym, work on those curves, and get toned. Your improved appearance will give a thrust to your confidence. Dress well and present your best self. He would realize that everybody is noticing you, and his fear of losing you will heighten.
11. Try being secretive
Some couples have the habit of sharing each other’s passwords and codes. Changing the password will make him want to know why. In case you do not wish to do so, be secretive in subtle ways. Don’t discuss your plans with him. Move to a different location while talking on the phone. Text your friends late in the night (even if it is sharing jokes with your girl gang). Work up his mind and curiosity.
12. Break the routine
No matter how much you enjoy a routine with him—be it playing silly games over the weekend, going for a trek, art rendezvous, or short trips—break the norm to make him notice your interests. Trigger your creative side. You never know, he might come up with unique plans to spend more time together.
13. Call the shots
How often do you make the decisions in your house? Who plans your holiday? Who calls the shots? If it is your partner who does it all the time, reverse the roles. He needs to understand that you play an equal role, and your opinion counts. You needn’t scream out the words. Be firm about your opinions and make your choices. He is bound to notice the change and may also enjoy floating with your preferences.
14. Make him jealous
When you go out with friends, make sure he notices. Click pictures of you having a great time and share them on social media. Post selfies with your girlfriends, with cheeky captions. Talk to him about a new male colleague and tell him how friendly he is. He will regret missing out on the fun. It will also make him jealous and want you more.
15. Keep the options open
Women often make the mistake of committing too soon. Don’t give him the feeling that you are obsessed with him. If you are still testing the relationship and have not committed, make him realize that he may likely lose you unless he steps up his act.
16. Refuse his help
A relationship thrives when both partners consult each other about important decisions. But if you want your man to stop taking you for granted, start taking your own decisions. Work on your emotional strength and stop consulting him. He will understand something is off and would make amends not to lose you.
17. Restrain from reacting
What happens is not as important as how you react to it. In a relationship, each one behaves in specific ways that trigger a reaction from the other. If you want to get his attention, stop reacting to things he does, like you used to earlier. He might test your change in behavior by doing things to provoke you. But do not give in. Your inert behavior will get him worried, and he’ll try to seek answers.
18. Be vague
At times, you need to don a wicked girl’s cape to smoothen things out. Be cryptic and vague. Do not give convincing or easy answers to any of his queries. Make him feel uneasy and insecure. It is bound to challenge his reasoning and provoke a reaction from him.
19. Talk it out
While dropping subtle hints, if you feel a serious talk can drive the point home—do it. Sit with him and open up about things that bother you. Try to make him see where and what he needs to change. Remind him what makes the two of you click. Tell him that you are an independent, strong-willed, and free-minded woman who cannot be taken for granted.
20. Make that genuine connection
Often, your partner is looking for that deep connection and may have convinced himself that he is not appreciated for what he is. Such men put on a mask. They may exhibit themselves as strong individuals but are very sensitive deep down. Touch base with the man beneath the mask. Understand and connect with what he truly is in there. He will appreciate you more and would never want to lose you.
21. Ask for a relationship recess
Interestingly, a relationship needs a little upheaval of sorts to bring it back on track. If, despite your best efforts, he does not understand the situation, talk to him. Tell him you need some ‘time out’ from the relationship. Your absence perhaps will be the wake-up call for him, and he will realize how much he loves and misses you.
A healthy relationship keeps your mind and heart constantly at war—each one telling you what to do. However, if you feel unappreciated in a relationship, you have to take a stand for yourself. These strategies will help you. Either he will work on his mistakes or the two of you will conclude that you both need some space.