How To Spice Up Your Relationship: 23 Ideas That Will Work

✔ Research-backed

Surprises, random gifts, loving gestures can do wonders to spice up your relationship.

“I have a surprise planned for tonight, honey.”

Imagine you are stuck at work, and this message pops up. You cannot concentrate on your work anymore because you start throwing wild guesses. The excitement can take your relationship to a whole new level. Isn’t it?

If you wish to plan something similar for your partner but fall short of ideas, you are at the right place. We share some exciting ideas that you may try with your partner to spice up your relationship in this post.

In This Article

Why Should You Spice Up Your Relationship?

Spicing up your relationship can pave the way for a healthier relationship.

  • It can reignite the lost passion in your relationship, making it more exciting and enjoyable.
  • Sometimes, relationships tend to become a bit boring. Adding spice to your connection allows you to adapt to changes while maintaining a strong bond.
  • Experiences can strengthen the emotional connection between partners.
  • Further, experimenting with new things can lead to open communication between partners and a better understanding and connection.

Spicing up your relationship doesn’t necessarily mean the inclusion of extravagant gestures. The key is to keep things simple and exciting, according to your needs and preferences.

23 Ways To Spice Up Your Relationship

A surprise date night, a day at the spa, an exotic holiday, or a weekend camping are just a few things to ignite the spark in your relationship. Intimacy and several other things can take your relationship to the next level. Even if you have been married for a good 20 years, your relationship need not become boring or get stagnant.

Here are some magical ways to make your relationship spicier:

  1. Prioritize your relationship: Don’t let your relationship take a backseat. Don’t make excuses for being busy, tired, or just not in the mood. Invest time in your relationship so that you never have to end up repairing or rebuilding it.
Prioritize your relationship to spice it up

Image: Shutterstock

protip_icon Point to consider
Just like you need to workout for a healthy body and meditate for a healthy mind, you need to constantly work on your relationship to make it long-lasting and successful.
  1. Take care of yourself: Only when you are healthy and feel good about yourself, can you take care of your partner. So, remember to eat right, stay fit, and sleep well. A healthy body results in a healthy mind and that clearly reflects in your relationship.
  1. Spend quality time together: Date nights are good, but it’s more important to spend quality time without any intrusions or distractions. Whether you decide to get intimate, cozy, or just spend time talking, make sure it’s worthwhile and improves your connection.
  1. Give your partner space and have your space: Being in a relationship doesn’t mean that you have to be with him or her 24/7. You are two separate individuals who need your space and freedom. So, hang out with your friends, pamper yourself at the spa, or just spend some time alone reading a book or watching TV. Let your partner do the same. Giving each other space will also allow you to miss each other, which will make the reunion more romantic. According to Anggun Bawi, a blogger, people might find giving each other so much space weird, but this is what worked for her and her partner. She says, “My partner and I have this routine where we’ll speak less every time we’re with our family. I took a long leave from work this week to spend time with my mom in the village, and I haven’t talked to my partner over the phone for the whole week. People from the outside might think this is a weird arrangement, but we both always find this to successfully strengthen our bonds when we reunite (i).”
protip_icon Point to consider
Maintaining your individuality is essential in any relationship. So take time to work on yourself, which will positively reflect on your relationship as well.
  1. Make those small sacrifices: Small things such as stepping out of your comfort zone can help you a great deal in your relationship. For instance, your partner is an adventurous person who loves trekking, cycling, camping and walking in the woods but you like to stay at home having a heart-to-heart communication over dinner. For a change, join him in his adventure. He will be pleasantly surprised, and you too would be surprised to realize your potential.
Make sacrifices to spice up your relationship

Image: IStock

  1. Express your love often: He loves you, and you love him — that is known, so why express it often? It rekindles your love, and is a reassurance to your partner. No matter how long you have come in your relationship, don’t stop from expressing your love for your partner and do it as often as you can. Indulge in seduction techniques for a touch of playfulness. It strengthens their trust in you.
  1. Have gratitude: Gratitude makes you attractive. Be grateful for all the things that are working in your life and stop complaining about those which aren’t happening. Positive thinking and behavior are associated with better quality of life, making it an element of attraction for your partner.
  1. Make your hugs last longer: Hug as often as you can and make it last longer and watch how the magic of desire for each other unfolds. Here are a few facts about hugging: hugging increases the ‘love hormone’ (oxytocin) levels and reduces the negative effects of stress (1).
  1. Argue less, listen more: As you are well into your relationship you tend to take it for granted, sometimes even giving a deaf ear to your partner. Make it a habit of listening actively and arguing less. by having dialogue or conversation.  By doing that you show that you respect and care for them.
Listen and understand more to spice up your relationship

Image: Shutterstock

  1. Satisfy their ego: Compliment your spouse for the things you like in them. Tell them how good they look or how sweet they speak. It will not only boost their confidence but also make them love you more than ever.
  1. Stay positive: All relationships have their ups and downs. But happy couples focus on being positive in spite of the unfavorable circumstances. They tend to look for the bright things without complaining about the negatives in their lives.
  1. Discuss your goals and dreams: Your spouse is your ‘better half’ for a reason. So share your dreams, aspirations, and goals with them. You might get a better idea of your goals while talking to them. Similarly, listen to them when they share theirs. Do not dismiss their aspirations.
protip_icon Quick tip
Even if you do not have a specific goal, you can still share your ideas or plans with your partner and be open to their suggestions. This involvement in one another’s life helps deepen your bond.
  1. Make them feel special: If there’s a sure shot way to get your spouse’s love and attention, it is to make them feel special. Bake a cake for her, buy his favorite drink or give them a massage.
  1. Dress up: Remember the way you would dress to impress your partner when you were dating? You would try to look your best when you were with them. Years must have passed, but you can still do that. Revamp your wardrobe, try a new hairstyle, add a little seduction and change your dressing style – watch the fireworks after that.
Dress up to spice up your relationship

Image: IStock

  1. Physical touch: Whether it’s kissing, handholding, hugging, or cuddling, they are sure to steam up your relationship. So, include physical touch in your everyday routine.
  1. Public display of affection: Some people like it and some don’t, but why bother about others? If your partner likes it, then go ahead and indulge in some PDA. Don’t worry too much about the undue public attention that you might get.
  1. Set the stage: After a tired day at work, your partner needn’t hit the sack right away. You can set the stage with some aromatic candles, flowers, music, and some wine. Relive your early days of the relationship and enjoy the moments.
  1. Nothing like a quickie: Whether it is just before you are heading to work or at your partner’s lunch break, adding some novelty by being up for a quickie can leave you with a great mood for the rest of the day.
  1. Sex: This is an essential ingredient to spice up your relationship. Don’t let any excuses come in your way when it comes to having sex. If your partner is too tired, arouse their sensuality with a sensuous massage with essential oils, light up the bedroom with aromatic candles or prepare an aphrodisiac dinner for them.
  1. Write a love note: Writing letters may not be a ‘cool’ thing but writing a personal ‘love note’ for your spouse will take them by surprise. Go ahead and unleash the romantic side of you.
Write a love note to spice up your relationship

Image: Shutterstock

  1. Empathize with your partner: If your spouse had a bad day and takes out his frustration on you, don’t retaliate immediately, calm down, get them a cup of coffee and empathize with them. Ask them what went wrong that day and try to bring them out of that mood.
  1. Be independent: Apparently, when you display those shades of independence, your partner is likely to get attracted to you. So, go ahead and do what interests you, whether it’s a road trip or bungee jumping. But take these decisions in congruence with your partner.
  1. Have friends to rely on: Maintain a circle of friends with whom you can share your thoughts, happiness, and disappointments. Keep in touch with them so you can fall back upon them when needed.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Is it normal to sometimes feel bored in a relationship?

It’s human to feel bored sometimes, even with someone you love deeply. Getting caught up with social media expectations of having a perfect relationship is unrealistic and creates unnecessary pressure on the partners. Discuss with your partner and give each other time to identify the root cause of boredom.

2. How can I spice up my relationship over text?

Sometimes grabbing a phone and texting fun things to your partner can spice up the relationship in ways we cannot even imagine. Indulging in flirtation by sending flirty messages, playing online couple games, and indulging in a role play on video call are some fun ideas you may try over text with your partner to keep the chemistry and passion alive.

3. How do I spice up conversations in a relationship?

Firstly put the gadgets away to have the undivided attention of your partner. To keep your conversations spicy and build up the excitement, you may try ideas such as talking about how you two fell in love, what attracted you two initially, and talking about spicing up the sex life.

When you and your partner are held up with your regular routines, your relationship seems boring and mundane. In such scenarios, you may be wondering how to spice up your relationship with your partner. Fret not! We give you straightforward techniques to reignite the spark in your relationship. For instance, surprise them, make time for them, show your affection often, and comprehend their emotions. Efforts like these will surely inspire your spouse to try out various ways to spice up your relationship. So, why wait? Time to add some spice and vigor to your romance.

Infographic: How To Add A Spark To Your Relationship?

Whether married or dating, keeping your romance on is important to make your relationship last forever. Even though you have busy lives, don’t forget to spend quality time with your partner. The infographic below will help you with some simple ideas for spicing up your relationship.

simple ways to keep your relationship lively (infographic)

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

Illustration: MomJunction Design Team

Key Pointers

  • Prioritize your relationship, spend quality time together, express love for each other, and have open conversations for a fulfilling relationship.
  • Make your partner feel special by dressing up for them, setting the stage with candles, flowers, and music, and doing something exclusively for them.
  • Physical touch and intimacy are crucial in spicing up your relationship. Touch often and display your love and affection publicly.
  • Be grateful for your partner, stay positive, listen more, argue less, and be empathetic.
  • Strengthen your bond by writing a love note, giving longer hugs, complimenting them, and showering them with love and affection.
Spice Up Your Relationship_illustration

Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team

Personal Experience: Source

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Dr. Carlos Juan Carmona-Goyena
Dr. Carlos Juan Carmona-GoyenaPhD (Counseling Psychology)
Dr. Carlos Juan Carmona-Goyena is a board licensed therapist in the USA and Puerto Rico with a specialty in couples, families, and relationships. Dr. Carlos possesses a PhD in Counseling Psychology granted at the Interamerican University of Puerto Rico.

Read full bio of Dr. Carlos Juan Carmona-Goyena