How to Stop Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You?



Loving someone who does not have the same feelings for you can be painful and turn your world upside down. The wound of rejection may not be visible, but the pain is real. People around you would advise you to brush it off and move on. But only you know that is easier said than done.

If you do not do anything about this awful and stabbing pain, it will leave a gaping hole in your heart and remind you of its presence ceaselessly.

But don’t you feel dejected yet. Yes, you may long for someone to fill that emptiness in your heart, but it does not have to be miserable. You may be pining with unrequited love, but you can heal and be as happy as a hippo. Try to soothe the pain and replace it with pleasant memories. And to do that, you can try any or some of these ways to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you.

17 Ways To Stop Loving Someone Who Doesn’t Love You

There is no magic formula for stopping yourself from loving someone who doesn’t love you. However, you can try the following ways and tips to help get over the pain and sadness.

1. Understand the situation

When someone you have feelings for doesn’t reciprocate, the first thing you can do is understand the whole situation. Try to understand why the person does not feel, react, or behave in the same way towards you. They may be seeing someone else, or maybe you are not their type. The reasons can be many. You can ask a common friend or ask them frankly.

2. Accept the truth

Once you understand why your love interest does not share the same feelings, respect their feelings, and accept the situation. Love should not be forced. It should come naturally because only then you can revel in it. It will undoubtedly be tough to accept it, but remember that the faster it sinks in, the easier it will be for you to let go of them.

3. Sort your feelings

After facing rejection in love, chances are your feelings will be all over the place — you might feel agitated and moody. It is best to sort your feelings outright. Observe your mood swings and the changes in your reaction to normal situations, and try to work on them. Be conscious of your feelings and behavior and try to develop self-awareness.

4. Find a reason to be grateful

It may feel like a negative experience, but if you look closely, you might be able to see the positives in it. Try to list down the positives of that experience and be grateful that things didn’t work out for you. When you remind yourself of the positives and realize that not being with a person who doesn’t love you is actually good for you, you will find it easier to heal and move on.

5. Forgive

Firstly, forgive yourself for getting into such a situation. Know that it happens, and there is nothing wrong in falling for a person not meant for you. Next, forgive that person and do not resent them for not having feelings for you. Everyone should be free to love who they want, so respect that freedom. Let them be happy, and you, too, will be happy soon.

6. Resolve to let this person go

When you love someone dearly, you are most likely to hope that someday they might realize the mistake they made by rejecting you and come back to you. This dream of reuniting with them can make it difficult for you to move on in life. Resolve never to pursue this person because such a reunion happens only in movies and seldom in real life. No matter how hard it is, do not wish to have them back, but rather hope to find someone who reciprocates your love.

7. Avoid any contact with that person

No matter what the romantic movies or relationship books tell you, maintain distance from them and try to avoid contacting them in any way. If you think you may not be able to control yourself, delete their number, block them on all social network platforms, and avoid places where you think you might bump into them. Do not try to see them or hear from them in any way.

8. Drive your thoughts away from them

Whenever you realize you are dwelling in the past and all you do is think about this person, stop right away and distract yourself with something else. Start walking or look out of the window and mentally list whatever you see. Do anything but think about them. At first, it will be frustrating because you probably like thinking about them. But do it more resolutely, and soon you may be able to stop thinking about them.

9. Get involved in fun activities in your free time

If you think each time you are alone, you might end up thinking about them, try to get yourself involved in some activity. Try painting, singing, dancing, or anything that will have you fully involved and eliminate any scope for rumination.

10. Reach out to someone

If you know someone who had faced a similar situation, reach out to them. Maybe you might learn something from their experience, and they might help you see things differently. They might also be in a better position to understand your feelings, and you too may feel more comfortable confiding your feelings to them.

11. Give yourself time to heal

Nursing a broken heart back to health can take a while. Do not try to hasten this process. Give yourself time to get over it. Remember, it is not your fault or mistake. It is just another life experience that will leave you with a better insight into life and yourself.

12. Nurture other relationships

As a part of your healing process, try to spend more time in the company of your family and friends, especially those who give you positive vibes. Be with people who will not judge you but help you regain your lost positivity and motivation. Make them your priority, and ensure you do not forget them once things get back to normal.

Tips To Move On In Life

Here are some tips that will help you put a negative experience behind you and move on to a better life.

13. Work on self-development

The first step to moving on in life is to focus on your well-being. It is time to give your physical and mental health some love and attention and make your way to a healthier life. Avoid self-loathing, binge eating, or wallowing. It will not help you in any way. Instead, get up and get out of the house, spend time in nature, change your routine and eating habits, and start exercising. All these will help you lift your spirits and make you feel better about yourself.

14. Plan for your future

When you have a goal to achieve and constantly work toward attaining it, other unimportant things will seem secondary. Even unrequited love will seem trivial because you are now concerned with working hard to get that promotion you have been eyeing for a long time. Set yourself some small and big realistic career and life goals that will keep you occupied.

15. Look for love

Don’t lose faith in love just because this one person in a billion does not feel the same for you. Your Bluetooth of love is designed to find better connectivity with a person you haven’t found yet. So, why waste time hoping for the wrong connection to work? Instead, focus your energy on finding the right connection meant especially for you.

16. Make new memories

Don’t torture yourself by dwelling in the past and wondering why they wouldn’t choose you. Instead, step beyond your rigid boundaries and explore the world out there to create new memories. Travel, meet new people, and fill your life’s book with interesting and unique experiences that you will cherish forever.

17. Visit a professional therapist

If nothing you do is helping, try seeking help from a professional therapist. A licensed counselor might help address the hidden issues that probably even you aren’t aware of and set you on the right path on your healing journey. Also, if you do not have someone to talk to, a therapist will lend an ear and help you overcome this setback.

Love is a powerful emotion and does not come or go easily. It requires patience, determination, and a steely resolve to get over an emotional setback. Although difficult, it is not impossible to forget someone. So, give yourself some time and you will find someone who loves you back wholeheartedly. Until then, learn to love yourself.

The following two tabs change content below.

Ratika Pai

Ratika has experience writing in various fields including finance, education, lifestyle, and entertainment. After her masters degree in Commerce, she acquired a PG Diploma in Communication and Journalism from Mumbai University. She is inquisitive about human relationships and likes to study people and how they manage their relationships, during her freetime. At MomJunction, Ratika writes insightful and informative articles on... more