18 Ways To Stop Loving Someone Who Doesn’t Love You

When you don’t get the person you love, it hurts. Everything around you appears unjust, and you feel dejected and broken. But that won’t help. Instead, you should accept the rejection gracefully and know how to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you.

The pain of rejection can be grave, and if neglected, it can turn into a venom that will eat up your peace and happiness. But you can fight this by accepting the fact that the one you love doesn’t love you, and that’s okay. Doing this won’t heal your pain instantly, but it will give you the strength to look at the brighter side of life. Besides, it will give you the motivation to get past their disliking and move on.

Though moving on isn’t easy, you can still be happy if you focus on the positives. To help you pass this phase, we bring you ways to stop loving the one who doesn’t love you with some effective tips that will help you move on, focusing on creating new pleasant memories.

In This Article

18 Ways To Stop Loving Someone Who Doesn’t Love You

There is no magic formula for stopping yourself from loving someone who doesn’t love you. However, you can try the following ways and tips to help get over the pain and sadness.

1. Understand the situation

When someone you have feelings for doesn’t reciprocate, the first thing you can do is understand the whole situation. Try to understand why the person does not feel, react, or behave in the same way towards you. They may be seeing someone else, or maybe you are not their type. The reasons can be many. You can ask a common friend or ask them frankly.

2. Accept the truth

Once you understand why your love interest does not share the same feelings, respect their feelings, and accept the situation. It is better to go parting ways. Love should not be forced. It should come naturally because only then you can revel in it. It should come naturally because only then you can revel in it. It will undoubtedly be tough to accept it, but remember that the faster it sinks in, the easier it will be for you to let go of them.

3. Sort your feelings

Sort your feelings if you have faced rejection in love

Image: Shutterstock

After facing rejection in love, chances are your feelings will be all over the place — you might feel agitated and moody. It is best to start sorting or segregating your feelings outright. Observe your mood swings and the changes in your reaction to normal situations, and try to work on them. Be conscious of your feelings and behavior and try to develop self-awareness.

4. Find a reason to be grateful

It may feel like a negative experience, but if you look closely, you might be able to see the positives in it. Try to list down the positives of that experience and be grateful that things didn’t work out for you. When you remind yourself of the positives and realize that not being with a person who doesn’t love you is actually good for you, you will find it easier to heal and move on. It will help you in silencing the negative thoughts.

protip_icon Do remember
Rejection is often a blessing in disguise. Though you may find someone fascinating from afar, they may not always be the right person for you.

5. Forgive

Firstly, forgive yourself for getting into such a situation. Know that it happens, and there is nothing wrong in falling for a person not meant for you. Next, forgive that person and do not resent them for not having feelings for you. The idea of letting go can be hard to implement. But everyone should be free to love who they want, so respect that freedom. Let them be happy, and you, too, will be happy soon without suppressing your pain.

6. Resolve to let this person go

When you love someone dearly, you are most likely to hope that someday they might realize the mistake they made by rejecting or cutting ties with you and come back to you. This dream of reuniting with them can make it difficult for you to move on in life. So, start resolving never to pursue this person because such a reunion happens only in movies and seldom in real life. No matter how hard it is, you must stop desiring them and rather hope to find someone who reciprocates your love.

7. Avoid any contact with that person

No matter what the romantic movies or relationship books tell you, maintain distance from them and try to avoid contacting them in any way. If you think you may not be able to control yourself or avoiding them is difficult, delete their number. Start blocking them on all social network platforms, and avoid going to places where you think you might bump into them. Do not try to see them or hear from them in any way.

Sky, a writer, talks about her breakup and how one of the mistakes she made was not blocking her ex sooner. She says, “After my first relationship, I un-friended my ex but I didn’t block him. My ex page was public so therefore I could still see everything he was up to. I could see what girls he was talking to and all the parties he was attending without me. I would creep on his page every hour, like a mad woman. After looking at his page, I would… start crying all over again and refilling my heart up with pain and horrible memories. I would also assume that everything he posted had a hidden message in it for me (i).”

8. Drive your thoughts away from them

Do anything but think about them

Image: IStock

Whenever you realize you are dwelling in the past and all you do is think about this person, stop right away and distract yourself with something else. Start walking or look out of the window and mentally list whatever you see. Do anything but think about them. At first, it will be frustrating because you probably like thinking about them. But do it more resolutely, and soon you may be able to stop thinking about them.

9. Get involved in fun activities in your free time

If you think each time you are alone, you might end up thinking about them, try to get yourself involved in some activity. Try painting, singing, dancing, or anything that will have you fully involved and eliminate any scope for rumination.

protip_icon Quick tip
Social media has made stalking a person easier. So stop visiting their social media pages or posts. Prioritize your well-being and move on.

10. Reach out to someone

If you know someone who had faced a similar situation, reach out to them. Maybe you might learn something from their experience, and they might help you see things differently. They might also be in a better position to understand your feelings, and you too may feel more comfortable confiding your feelings to them.

11. Give yourself time to heal

Nursing a broken heart back to health can take a while. Do not try to hasten this process. Give yourself time to get over it. Remember, it is not your fault or mistake. It is just another life experience that will leave you with a better insight into life and yourself.

12. Nurture other relationships

Nurture your relationship with family and friends

Image: Shutterstock

As a part of your healing process, try to spend more time in the company of your family and friends, especially those who give you positive vibes. Be with people who will not judge you but help you regain your lost positivity and motivation. Make them your priority, and ensure you are not forgetting them once things get back to normal.

Tips To Move On In Life

Here are some tips that will help you put a negative experience behind you and move on to a better life.

13. Work on self-development

The first step to moving on in life is to focus on your well-being. It is time to give your physical and mental health some love and attention and make your way to a healthier life. Avoid self-loathing, binge eating, or wallowing. It will not help you overcome this ending in any way. Instead, get up and get out of the house, spend time in nature, change your routine and eating habits, and start exercising. Stop abstaining from the activities you love. All these will help you lift your spirits and make you feel better about yourself.

14. Plan for your future

Set yourself realistic career and life goals

Image: IStock

When you have a goal to achieve and constantly work toward attaining it, other unimportant things will seem secondary. Even unrequited love will seem trivial because you are now concerned with working hard to get that promotion you have been eyeing for a long time. Set yourself some small and big realistic career and life goals that will keep you occupied.

15. Look for love

Don’t lose faith in love just because this one person in a billion does not feel the same for you and is ignoring you. Your Bluetooth of love is designed to find better connectivity with a person you haven’t found yet. So, why waste time hoping for the wrong connection to work? Instead, focus your energy on finding the right connection meant especially for you.

protip_icon Point to consider
If you find it difficult to get over someone, write down your feelings on a sheet of paper. Stop overthinking. Instead, connect with your loved ones and indulge in activities you enjoy.

16. Make new memories

Explore the world out there

Image: IStock

Don’t torture yourself by dwelling in the past and wondering why they wouldn’t choose you. Instead, step beyond your rigid boundaries and explore the world out there to create new memories. Travel, meet new people, and fill your life’s book with interesting and unique experiences that you will cherish forever.

17. Visit a professional therapist

If nothing you do is helping, try seeking help from a professional therapist. A licensed counselor might help address the hidden issues that probably even you aren’t aware of and set you on the right path on your healing journey. Also, if you do not have someone to talk to, a therapist will lend an ear and help you overcome this setback.

18. Set boundaries

Setting boundaries is crucial to move on from an unrequited love. It involves setting emotional and physical boundaries between you and the person, which is vital for healing. Limiting interactions and emotional investments allows your mind to focus on other aspects of life. This detachment helps break the cycle of intense feelings and disappointment that often accompanies unrequited love. Establishing boundaries also fosters self-respect and allows you to prioritize your emotional well-being, reinforcing that your happiness shouldn’t depend on someone else. Over time, your feelings for the person diminish when you know your self-worth, making it easier to accept the situation and move forward with your life.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Do I love him, or am I just attached?

If you are emotionally attached to a person, it does not necessarily mean that you are romantically attracted to them; you may like the sense of care and security the person brings you. On the contrary, if you love someone, you are profoundly and selflessly connected to their feelings and prioritize their happiness over yours.

2. Can I ever stop loving my first love?

Although it is difficult to forget your first love, it is worth remembering that love that is not reciprocated could steal your peace of mind and happiness. Therefore, it is best to accept the facts and start distancing yourself for your good. Furthermore, acknowledge your worth, focus on your present, allocate your time to your hobbies and work and connect with your friends and family to deviate yourself.

3. What are the signs that it’s time to stop loving someone?

Lack of communication in a relationship, shift in your partner’s priorities, and your emotional needs not being satisfied are all signs you need to stop loving someone. Besides, your feeling scared of asking more from your partner could also be an important sign. But, more importantly, physical, emotional, or verbal abuse is a clear sign to end the relationship.

4. What are the benefits of letting go of someone you love?

The fundamental benefit of letting go of your love is you will get more time to focus on yourself, rather than focussing on their needs and humoring them. You could even find time to cultivate a new hobby. This can also be an opportunity to reconnect with your family and friends, especially if they didn’t like your partner. Moreover, you will be able to work on becoming a better person.

To stop loving someone and detaching from them is not as easy as it sounds. But it is important that you do it and allow yourself to heal from the pain and move on. Do not keep yourself isolated and locked away. But instead, go out with friends, spend time with family and concentrate on making your life better. Just because one relationship did not work out does not mean that all of them will turn out the same way. So, wait for that right person and focus on yourself until then.

Infographic: How Can You Stop Loving Them And Start Loving Yourself?

It is essential that you focus on diverting the love meant for someone else toward yourself. This will help fill the void in your heart and make you feel good. We have prepared the following infographic that contains a list of easy ways in which you can practice self-love. Do remember to save the infographic for times when you might need it.

ways to start loving yourself (infographic)

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

Key Pointers

  • Accept the truth when someone you love stops loving you back or doesn’t love you.
  • Once you sort your feelings and understand the situation, it will be easier to forgive and distance yourself physically and mentally.
  • Focus on self-development to move on.
  • Seek professional help if it’s getting difficult for you to cope with the situation.
how to stop loving someone_illustration

Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team

Learn how to forget someone you love and move on with your life. Get tips on how to stop loving someone through this video.

Personal Experience: Source

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Dr. Carlos Juan Carmona-Goyena

Dr. Carlos Juan Carmona-GoyenaPhD (Counseling Psychology)

Dr. Carlos Juan Carmona-Goyena is a board licensed therapist in the USA and Puerto Rico with a specialty in couples, families, and relationships. Dr. Carlos possesses a PhD in Counseling Psychology granted at the Interamerican University of Puerto Rico. His 17 years of professional experience also includes scientific research in family emotional and relational processes and its effect on psychological...read full bio