How To Tell If Someone Is Lying About Cheating:14 Signs

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Are you suspicious that your boyfriend or husband is cheating on you? Your gut feeling is saying something is not right, but they keep repeating they are honest with you. In this post, we talk about how to tell if someone is lying about cheating. The uncertainty will drain your energy and will stress you out. However, nobody can conceal the truth for long, and your partner will someday make a mistake, and you will be able to detect lies and expose them. Read on as we list out the signs of cheating.

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14 Ways To Tell If Someone Is Lying About Cheating

Infidelity may not always show itself as daylight. Sometimes, the gut feelings or the sudden shift in air in the relationship may indicate your partner’s lying. Elle, a blogger at The Betrayed Wives Club blog, recalls her bitter experience. She says, “In hindsight, I knew my husband was cheating, and I knew with whom before he admitted it to me. I knew before I knew. Of course, there were lots I didn’t know—the years of sexual acting out with strangers, for instance. But though I didn’t know the details, I felt the disconnection. I knew…something (i).”

When you broach the topic, keep these signs in mind to clear your doubts about their behavior.

1. They fail to maintain eye contact

People who lie avoid eye contact
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When you talk or ask about cheating, do they look here and there? If yes, that could be a sign of lying. Hunt for clues as people who lie avoid eye contact as they fear you might see the truth in their eyes. They might act normal, but they will not look at you, even if you ask them to.

2. They make aggressive eye contact

While avoiding eye contact is quite common in a lying partner, suspect foul play if your partner looks at you intently. In this case, they know that avoiding eye contact can make you figure out the truth. So, they try to make it up by looking at you continuously. If your partner is looking at you unblinkingly in a way that creeps you out, it might be a red flag.

3. They become defensive

When you confront them, they might become defensive
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Becoming defensive could be a common sign of a lying partner. For example, when you confront and interrogate them, they might overreact and become defensive. Even when you inquire with an innocent question, they doubt intentions and tend to take offense and respond harshly. In some cases, they might even project their feelings on you and accuse you of being a liar.

4. They change their behavior

If your partner is suddenly taking more care of you or, inversely, it could be because they are lying about cheating and want to compensate for the guilt. In this case, asking them about a sudden change might make them defensive, or they might downright deny it.

5. They change their habits

Every person has set habits, and if they unexpectedly pick up new habits or drop some old ones, it could be because they are lying about cheating. For example, they suddenly stopped smoking and started going to the gym. They are most probably trying to impress their new partner.

6. They become busy

A schedule that changes abruptly could point towards a lying partner
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A schedule that changes abruptly could point towards a lying partner. For example, if they come home late every day and do not answer your calls, or they don’t take calls in front of you—these could be some cues to watch closely for.

7. They speak differently

Scrutinize the way your partner talks to you. Did your partner start talking in a higher or lower pitch, faster or slower than usual? They might resort to coughing or frequent throat-clearing to cover up their awkwardness. They might even evade your questions by giving vague answers such as “I don’t know” or “leave me alone.” Observe and note such unwelcomed gestures as they could indicate lying and distrust.

8. They display a different body language

When you ask your partner about cheating, examine body language or nonverbal communication cues. When they are lying, they lean away from you and keep their body closed, which indicates they are not open to any questions or suggestions.

protip_icon Did you know?
When a person crosses both arms and legs, it indicates that they have emotionally withdrawn from the conversation (1).

9. They hesitate

 A liar will hesitate and think about their answer before responding
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While hesitating is common in truthful partners too, when combined with any of the other signs shows your partner is lying about cheating. A normal person usually starts talking immediately when you ask them a question. But a liar will hesitate and think about their answer before answering. Be aware, analyze speech, and look for clues; this will give you an understanding about your partner’s proclivities.

10. They have dilated pupils

Your pupils dilate when you think harder. It is an involuntary action, and no one can learn to control it. This is a major giveaway if your partner is lying about cheating. They might be good with their words, actions, and body language, but this is one thing they cannot control. Hence, they avoid eye contact.

11. They post vague stuff on social media

Usually, a cheating partner is careful about what goes online. They make sure they do not upload any incriminating pictures or messages. However, at times they might slip and post something out of emotion. Investigate further if they told you they were at the office all night but posted a picture of a pint of beer; you need to be cautious.

12. They have a history of lying

For such partners, lying is just a way to get out of tight corners
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If you know that your partner has lied in the past for some seemingly minor incidents, it is a good cause to suspect them of lying about cheating too. For such partners, lying is just a way to get out of tight corners. They don’t worry too much about consequences and only want a way out of this particular confrontation. They might forget about the lie soon and have no scruples about lying again. However, your lie detection skills can be put to use to get the truth out of your partner.

13. They start to sweat

Watch out if he starts sweating when you confront him. If he’s keeping secrets about cheating, nervous perspiration might spill the beans. When faced with questions, stress can crank up body temperature, leading to visible sweat beads on his forehead or palms. If you spot these subtle signs, it could be his body revealing more than his words. Pay attention to the sweat signals; they might just help you unravel the truth behind potential infidelity.

14. They use fewer personal pronouns

Do you think your partner is lying about cheating? Pay attention to the way they talk. If you notice they are using fewer personal pronouns like I and me, it could be a sign something’s not right.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. How do cheaters react when accused?

One of the most common responses to being accused of cheating is denial. On being confronted, they might apologize for what they’ve done. However, some may overreact and say you make them feel terrible or like a monster.

2. What phrases do cheaters use?

You might hear phrases from cheaters like “I didn’t intend to hurt you,” “I had different needs,” or “I loved you all along.”

3. Can you justify cheating in a relationship?

There is no justification for cheating in a relationship. Of course, the reason behind cheating might feel better than “I wanted to cheat,” but breaking your partner’s trust is still wrong. Many people find the act of cheating unforgivable.

Infidelity should have zero tolerance, but it is also important to avoid hasty decisions. These signs may teach you how to tell if someone is lying about cheating. However, observe closely as no single sign can be conclusive and may have its explanation when seen from a different perspective.

As Elle adds, “It took years to recognize that. I wish that weren’t the truth, but it is. But with practice, with learning to acknowledge the truth of things – uncomfortable things, things I wish weren’t true – the span between knowing and knowing is getting smaller. I’m better at recognizing that what I wish was true doesn’t make it true.”

Watch out for changes in their behavior and body language over time, and confront them when you suspect infidelity or repeatedly see a series of signs. You may decide what to do next once you know they have lied about cheating.

Infographic: Talking About What Happened And Why It Happened

Getting cheated can trigger a hurricane of emotions. You feel angry, hurt, betrayed, shattered, and left out. However, you need to calm yourselves and seek answers as to why your partner turned unfaithful. Our infographic brings a compilation of questions one should ask their disloyal partner to get an insight into what they want. Getting that clarity is essential to decide the relationship’s future.

questions to ask an unfaithful partner (infographic)

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

Get the high-quality PDF version of this infographic.

Download Infographic in PDF version

Key Pointers

  • A person who cheats or lies may fail to maintain eye contact and look here and there while you ask something.
  • Aggressive eye contact or not blinking at all can also be a sign of lying when cheating.
  • Some people may pick up new habits or drop old ones when they cheat and lie.
how to tell if someone is lying about cheating_illustration

Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team

Are you suspicious that your partner is cheating? Are they behaving unusually but you are not sure of what to think? Look out for these 10 signs to help you determine if they are.

Personal Experience: Source


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  1. The Definitive Book of Body Language; Allan and Barbara Pease
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