How To Tell If Someone Is Lying About Cheating:12 Signs

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Are you being suspicious that your boyfriend or husband is cheating on you? Your gut feeling is saying something is not right, but they keep repeating they are honest with you. In this post, we talk about how to tell if someone is lying about cheating. The uncertainty will drain your energy and will stress you out. However, nobody can conceal the truth for long, and your partner will someday make a mistake, and his lies will be exposed. Read on as we list out the signs of cheating.

12 Ways To Tell If Someone Is Lying About Cheating

When you broach the topic, keep these signs in mind to clear your doubts about their behavior.

1. They fail to maintain eye contact

When you talk or ask about cheating, do they look here and there? If yes, that could be a sign of lying. People who lie avoid eye contact as they fear you might see the truth in their eyes. They might act normal, but they will not look at you, even if you ask them to.

2. They make aggressive eye contact

While avoiding eye contact is quite common in a lying partner, looking at you intently is also a sign of lying. In this case, they know that avoiding eye contact can make you figure out the truth. So, they try to make it up by looking at you continuously. If your partner is looking at you unblinkingly in a way that creeps you out, it might be a red flag.

3. They become defensive

Becoming defensive could be a common sign of a lying partner. When you confront them, they might overreact and become defensive. Even when you ask an innocent question, they tend to take offense and respond harshly. In some cases, they might even project their feelings on you and accuse you of being a liar.

4. They change their behavior

If your partner is suddenly taking more care of you or, inversely, it could be because they are lying about cheating and want to compensate for the guilt. In this case, asking them about a sudden change might make them defensive, or they might downright deny it.

5. They change their habits

Every person has set habits, and if they unexpectedly pick up new habits or drop some old ones, it could be because they are lying about cheating. For example, they suddenly stopped smoking and started going to the gym. They are most probably trying to impress their new partner.

6. They become busy

A schedule that changes abruptly could point towards a lying partner. For example, if they come home late every day and do not answer your calls, or they don’t take calls in front of you—these could be some cues to watch out for.

7. They speak differently

Did your partner start talking in a higher or lower pitch, faster or slower than usual? They might resort to coughing or frequent throat-clearing to cover up their awkwardness. They might even evade your questions by giving vague answers such as “I don’t know” or “leave me alone.” Such unwelcomed gestures could be a sign of lying.

8. They display a different body language

When you ask your partner about cheating, pay attention to their nonverbal communication. When they are lying, they lean away from you and keep their body closed, which indicates they are not open to any questions or suggestions.

9. They hesitate

While hesitating is common in truthful partners too, when combined with any of the other signs shows your partner is lying about cheating. A normal person usually starts talking immediately when you ask them a question. But a liar will hesitate and think about their answer before answering. This will give you a clue about your partner’s proclivities.

10. They have dilated pupils

Your pupils dilate when you think harder. It is an involuntary action, and no one can learn to control it. This is a major giveaway if your partner is lying about cheating. They might be good with their words, actions, and body language, but this is one thing they cannot control. Hence, they avoid eye contact.

11. They post vague stuff on social media

Usually, a cheating partner is careful about what goes online. They make sure they do not upload any incriminating pictures or messages. However, at times they might slip and post something out of emotion. If they told you they were at the office all night but posted a picture of a pint of beer, you need to be cautious.

12. They have a history of lying

If you know that your partner has lied in the past for some seemingly minor incidents, it is a good cause to suspect them of lying about cheating too. For such partners, lying is just a way to get out of tight corners. They don’t worry too much about consequences and only want a way out of this particular confrontation. They might forget about the lie soon and have no scruples about lying again.

Keep in mind that no single sign can prove that your partner is lying about cheating. Every sign has its explanation when seen in a different light. However, when you see a series of signs over and over again, it should direct you to be more observant. Observe what they say and how they behave when you confront them and be vigilant. If your intuition is right, you can then decide what to do next.

Key Pointers

  • A person who cheats or lies may fail to maintain eye contact and look here and there while you ask something.
  • Aggressive eye contact or not blinking at all can also be a sign of lying when cheating.
  • Some people may pick up new habits or drop old ones when they cheat and lie.

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John Kenny

John Kenny is the host of The Relationship Guy podcast and is a coach to professional women who approach him for creating healthy loving relationships. He is the founder of Interpersonal Relationship Coaching (IRC) and author of The P.E.O.P.L.E. Programme. During his 15 years of experience in personal development, John helped thousands of clients build relationships. He believes that the... more

Akshay Nair

Akshay is an associate editor and former journalist with over three years of experience. A post graduate in Mass Communication and Journalism, he has strong professional and academic background in the field of content writing and editing. He is also a Certified Relationship Workshop Facilitator for Life Coaches. Akshay interned and worked with various newspapers and the Public Relations Department... more