9 Signs To Watch Out For If You Think Your Boyfriend Is Gay

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You have been going around with a guy for some time, but something seems off. Your physical relationship is not how you expected it to be, and you start doubting whether he is gay. So, how to tell if your boyfriend is gay? You cannot be sure unless he tells you himself. But there might be some probable and apparent signs that can make you understand.

If you’ve got vibes from your boyfriend that has made you doubt his sexuality, there could be a slight possibility that he could be a closeted gay (i.e., he has not disclosed his sexual orientation or gender identity), or he’s still not aware of his sexuality.

This post entails some signs that could be helpful for you to figure it out and advises on what to do next.

Signs To Watch Out For If You Think Your Boyfriend Is Gay

It could be possible that your boyfriend has a different sexual orientation or has developed it over time. Notice these signs so you may confirm the situation.

1. He’s checks out other men

Whether single or in a relationship, checking out other women is quite common for straight guys. But if your man notices other men, it could signify that he’s interested in men. You may also find him ogling over men with fabulous physiques. Since he’s not ready to reveal his sexuality to you, he might give subtle glances, so you need to figure it out quickly.

2. His friends are gay

As the quote goes, “Show me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you who you are,” people around us give a lot of impressions about our liking, personality, and character. While straight men usually have guy friends as some feel uncomfortable around gay people, if your man has lots of LGBTQ+ and gay friends, this could be a sign to watch out. So, look out with whom your boyfriend hangs out the most and how deep their relationship is. Though it doesn’t go the same always, it could be right in some instances.

3. He seems emotionally and physically detached from you

This is one of the most important and noticeable signs that could suggest your boyfriend is gay. While it could mean that your boyfriend is being considerate and wants you to be more comfortable before asking you for sex, if he’s emotionally detached from you, it could mean either he’s cheating on you or have different sexual preferences. You could notice that he’s rarely making eye contact with your or initiating romantic conversations.

4. He is doubtful about your relationship

If he’s talking about having doubts about your relationship with him, it could mean that he’s losing his interest in you and looking for excuses for breaking up. But it is also possible that he’s attracted to men if his doubts about your relationship are coupled with other signs of being gay.

5. He’s gotten into gay and bisexual porn

It is yet another probable sign suggesting your man is gay. While different people have different preferences and categories of porn that appeals to them or turns them, when somebody gets into a specific type of porn, it can often be a precursor or reflection of what they’re into in their sex life. You can also find gay dating apps on his phone. So, if he tells you about his interest in watching gay pornography and bisexual porn, or you catch him watching one, you can guess the reason.

6. He flirts with men around you

If you find your boyfriend subconsciously getting attracted to other men and he starts flirting or glancing at sexily-bodied men on the television makes his eyes flutter, there is a good chance he’s interested in men.

7. He becomes uncomfortable around gay topics

If your boyfriend becomes homophobic around gay men or gets uncomfortable if there is a conversation about gay men and bisexual relationships, it could be because of his repressed feelings. So, if your boyfriend becomes repulsive about such topics or individuals, it could be one of the signs that he’s gay.

8. He’s comfortable being physical with men

For straight men, being touchy, holding hands, and some other borderline things are ‘big no’ unless they feel extreme emotions. If you notice your man being too comfortable or touchy with his guy best friend, male coworker, or other men, he might be into men. But this could also be possible between best buddies. So, try reading between the lines.. But this could also be possible between best buddies. So, try reading between the lines.

9. He is bisexual

There could be times when you think his feelings for you, whether romantically, physically, or emotionally, are perfect, but other times, his behavior is suspicious and seems gay. It might mean that he’s bisexual. So, he could be in love with you and attracted to you, but at the same time, he wants to or might be in a relationship with a man.

What Should You Do If You Suspect Your Boyfriend Is Gay?

Finding out your lover is gay or having him lie about his sexual orientation could be hurtful. So, when you uncover these indicators in your partner, you may be in a state of emotional upheaval, and you could be distressed. Here are a few suggestions that may be useful in such circumstances.

  1. When you realize or even strongly suspect him to be gay, talk with him rather than making assumptions. But make sure to make the conversation warm rather than aggressive.
  2. Since society still has stereotypical thoughts about the LGBTQ+ community, if your boyfriend reveals it to you, try to be empathic, listen, and support him.
  3. Don’t force your relationship on him.
  4. Don’t discuss your boyfriend’s sexuality with others or publicly reveal him for his social, emotional, and physical well-being. It’s possible that he isn’t entirely aware of his sexuality yet, or that he is keeping it for some reason.
  5. Make a choice whether you want to be in this relationship or not because gay or bisexual individuals often want to continue to be in a normal relationship with the opposite sex due to societal or family pressure.
  6. Remember that your boyfriend being gay is not anyone’s fault. Know that his actions are driven by himself and his unfulfilled wants.
  7. You can also seek professional help or counseling from a relationship coach if you’re too confused or your thoughts are messed up. They will help you get a clear and fresh insight into your relationship, thus, helping you to make a decision.

Like “Ross and Carol,’ from the famous American TV series ‘F.R.I.E.N.D.S.’ where Carol turned out to be a lesbian after being married, there could also be instances in real life. If you ever feel that your boyfriend’s actions appear to be gay but don’t know ‘how to tell if your boyfriend is gay,’ all of the above factors could help. But, remember that it’s not your fault, and it can happen in either a long-term relationship or a new one, as an individual’s sexual orientation can sometimes be changeable. So, rather than blaming yourself or him for their conduct, keep your calm and make a sensible decision.

Key Pointers

  • Some signs may suggest your boyfriend’s sexuality, but you cannot be absolutely sure.
  • Gay men check out other men as they are attracted to them.
  • Talking through your doubts with him is certainly the best option before deciding on something.

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Shikha Thakur

Shikha is a writer-turned-associate editor at MomJunction. Her core interest lies in writing articles that guide couples through their courtship to marriage and parenthood. She also specializes in baby names. Being a postgraduate in Human Resources, she likes understanding people and their relationships. This reflects in her relationship articles, where she deals with both the rosy and the grey side... more