If you have been in a serious relationship and are thinking of ways to introduce your boyfriend to your overprotective parents, we’ve got you covered. In this post, we tell you how to tell your strict parents you have a boyfriend.
The big reveal may raise certain eyebrows, and your parents may even object to it. However, there comes the point when you have to do it to maintain your peace of mind. So, read on as we list down several ways to help you tell your parents about your relationship.
Why It’s Important To Tell Your Parents You Have A Boyfriend?
It may not be easy to tell your parents about your boyfriend, especially if you are a teen. They are bound to feel concerned for you and may even disapprove of your relationship. It is natural to feel nervous about your parent’s reaction but do not let it discourage you from telling your parents about your relationship because eventually, they will find out. And if they find out through someone else, they will feel that you did not tell them about your boyfriend because you are hiding something. Hence, do not let fear of their reaction deter you from sharing it with them. Find the right time and choose the right approach to tell your parents about your boyfriend.
How Long Should You Wait To Tell Your Parents?
There is no specific time period that you need to wait before telling your parents about your boyfriend. It depends on your relationship with your parents and how serious you are with your boyfriend.
But for pointers, you have to be sure that you are serious about your boyfriend. Tell your parents about him only once you have spent a decent amount of time with him and are sure that you want your folks to know about him.
If your parents are too strict, then you might want to wait for a few months before divulging your relationship status to them. But if your parents are cool about dating, then a few weeks into a relationship should be enough to inform your parents about this new development in your life.
15 Ways To Tell Your Parents You Have A Boyfriend
Knowing the right way and right time to share the news about your boyfriend with your parents can make this nerve-racking process simple and even pleasant. Let’s have a look at how you can do it.
1. Start dropping hints
Prepare your parents for the big revelation by telling them about a “friend” who you enjoy spending time with. When going out, inform them that you will be hanging out with friends, including this new “friend” of yours. Your parents will slowly start to wonder what’s cooking between you and this new “friend”. So when you finally tell them about your relationship, they will not be too surprised.
2. Let them know your intention to date
No matter how old you grow, you will always be a child for your parents. So, you need to show them that you are now old enough to make decisions for yourself and that you intend to start dating like an adult. Do not tell them you want to do it because it’s “cool” but because you feel you are old enough and prepared to be in a relationship.
3. Ask them to join you at your boyfriend’s game
If your boyfriend is a talented artist or an athlete or holds a dominant position in some public space, it is a good idea to take your parents to see him perform. Ask them casually to accompany you. When your boyfriend is done performing, you can ask your parents what they think about him. To add to it, you can tell them how amazing he is as a person.
4. Invite him over when your parents are around
You can invite your boyfriend over to your house for combined studies or have him help you out with something. Introduce him as a friend who is helping you out with something. Ensure that you even behave like classmates or colleagues and do not show any romantic gestures between you. Introduce him to your parents, so that they will like him eventually.
5. Propose the idea to see their reaction
It is always good to test the water before breaking the actual news. So, if your parents know your boyfriend as a friend of yours, then one day casually bring up the idea of dating him. See how they react. If they are okay with it, then reveal that you are seeing him already. If not, listen to their reasons for rejecting the idea and look for other ways to work through it.
6. Determine whom to inform first
Talking to both parents can be intimidating. So why not try talking to one parent first? If one parent is more friendly and understanding than the other, you can talk to them first. Tell them all about your boyfriend, and if possible, ask them to speak to your other parent as well or at least ask them for guidance on how to break the news to your other parent.
7. Sit down with them
When you finally decide you want to tell your parents about your boyfriend, look for an appropriate time when they are relaxed and free to listen to you. Plan and rehearse in advance what you want to tell them. Imagine their likely reaction and be prepared to answer their questions. Keep in mind that they may initially disapprove of this relationship and that you can ask that they think it through further and talk with you again.
8. Write to them
If talking about your boyfriend to your parents makes you nervous, then try writing a letter to them. Write everything you want to tell them about your boyfriend, the kind of relationship you share with him, and what he means to you. Pour your heart out to them and be sincere in your effort. When they see how serious you are about your boyfriend, they might accept him without much opposition.
9. Text them
If you live away from your family and do not see your parents too often, you can try texting them about your relationship. It may be seen as an informal way to break the news. So ensure that your text is detailed and respectful. Take your time to type out a nice text that will best explain your decision to your parents.
10. Be honest with them
Whenever you decide to tell your parents about your boyfriend, be completely honest with them about it. They will ask you everything about your relationship, which can annoy you as you might feel they are too nosy. But be calm and answer all their questions confidently, so they see how serious you are about the relationship.
11. Emphasize his good attributes
What you tell your parents about your boyfriend is how they will perceive him. So, tell them all that is good about him. For instance, he may not be financially as sound as your family but if he is a straight-A student, then mention that to your parents. You have to create a good image of him in their mind for them to approve of him.
12. Invite your parents home
If you are living with your boyfriend, then one way to tell your parents about him is by inviting them to your home. Cook them a good meal and open up about your relationship. Allow them to see how well you have been living together and that you make a compatible pair.
13. Have his parents meet your parents
If your boyfriend’s parents already know and approve of your relationship, then you can ask them to meet your parents and have a word with them. They will be able to understand your parent’s perspective and make them see your side too. Do this only if you are much older and have been in a serious, committed relationship for years.
14. Do not argue with them
If you are in your twenties, chances are your parents may not approve of your boyfriend and may even oppose the idea. In order to convince them, you have to be confident in your relationship. You have to be sure that your boyfriend is a good guy. Tell your parents all the experiences you had that prove his credibility. When they dismiss your relationship, do not argue with them. Be calm and try some other time again.
15. Have a realistic approach
Just because you presented the news to your parents smoothly and answered all their questions satisfactorily, it does not mean they will accept your boyfriend right away. Give them some time to get to know your boyfriend. You can formally introduce him to them and have them meet each other a couple of times and see if they like him.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Is it okay to hide a relationship from your parents?
If you wish to keep your relationship private until you are sure, you may choose to do so. The same goes with parents; if you fear being judged or your parents reacting unreasonably, you may hide it from them until you feel the time is right or you feel comfortable about the situation.
2. What should I do if I get caught with my boyfriend?
The best course of action is to accept it. If you fear they will judge you or not be okay with it, you may choose to cover up, saying he is a casual friend. However, if you are devoted and in a committed relationship, you may tell your parents about it.
How to tell parents you have a boyfriend depends entirely on the kind of relationship you share with them and how open they are to the idea of you having a boyfriend. If your parents are strict, you have to be fully prepared and cautious before opening up to them because they may oppose your relationship. But do not hide your relationship from your parents as it can hurt them in the long run.
Infographic: Disclosing That You Have A Boyfriend To Your Parents
Disclosing that you have a boyfriend to your parents can be exciting and worrisome. However, if you have already given them the news, then it’s time they meet him. If you haven’t, then it may be a good idea to have them meet him directly. This infographic discusses various ways to introduce your boyfriend to your parents.
- Tell your parents about your boyfriend by dropping subtle hints.
- Invite him to your home as a casual friend and introduce him to your parents.
- If talking about your relationship is uncomfortable, write a letter to your parents or text them the details.
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Sharon Gilchrest O’Neill(Ed.S., LMFT)
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