What To Do If You're Not In Love With Your Husband Anymore

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Life can become dull and even miserable when you no longer have butterflies in your stomach when you are around your husband and the thought of ‘I don’t love my husband anymore’ lingers. This predicament of yours can leave you confused and lost for answers.

Love is magical, and when you are with the person you love, you feel like you’re in seventh heaven. The fantastic feelings of joy and love increase further when you tie the nuptial knot and say, “I do.” But all these can go downhill when you begin to doubt your feelings.

Keep reading to know the reasons behind your feeling of lovelessness for your hubby and learn what you can do about it.

Signs You Don’t Love Your Husband Anymore

Many reasons can add up to the fact that you are not in love with your husband. These are the signs to look out for.

1. You are no longer attracted to his scent

Many people are unaware that when you love someone, you automatically find their scent to be appealing. In a study, it was found out that scent, memory, and emotions are all intertwined with one another (1). Finding another person’s smell to be attractive is due to the pheromones.

So, when you start to find your husband’s smell to be unappealing, it is because you are no longer fond of the person he is now. Trying to understand why you fell out of love can be quite confusing and overwhelming, so a therapist can help you figure it out.

2. You are happier with your non-existent sex life

Intimacy plays a big part in a romantic relationship. Making love to the person you love should make you feel giddy. However, if you do not enjoy the thought of being intimate with your partner, then it’s a sign you are no longer in love with them.

Instead of enjoying your husband’s touch, you give him a disdainful look, and when your partner senses it, he recoils from touching you further. If you want to try and reciprocate the feeling your husband is showing you and are failing to do so, going to a marriage counselor can often be quite helpful.

3. You no longer care about your husband’s opinion

A loving marriage is based on cooperation and understanding each other’s needs, one where you consider your partner’s opinion to make an important decision. You always want to ask your husband what they think. If you no longer heed what your husband says or does, it is mostly because you are not in love with him anymore.

4. You feel envious of other happy couples

One of the worst feelings, when you are in a marriage, is feeling lonely. Thinking that you will have a happy married life only to realize that you do not love your husband anymore may seem like you are trapped and suffocated. It could even make you jealous when you see other happy couples.

It is mostly because you miss the love you shared with your husband once upon a time, and no matter how much you try, you are left with the feeling of loneliness.

5. You feel emotionally burdened

In a happy relationship, couples cannot wait to see their partner after a long day of work. However, if you feel emotionally exhausted thinking about seeing your partner after a long day of work, it means the love that you once had has diminished over time.

If you try to engage in work or keep busy so that you do not have to spend time with your husband, then it is high time you come face-to-face with the fact that your marriage is no longer working.

‘I Don’t Love My Husband Anymore’ What To Do?

One of the most daunting things in a marriage is confronting that you no longer love your spouse, and it is time to move on. Things become especially hard when you are in an unhappy marriage and are unsure whether to file for a divorce or take some more time. Beating yourself up for falling out of love with your husband will not help either of you, instead having an open conversation about what you want in the future will help you figure out things quicker.

In a study (2), it was seen that an unhappy marriage tends to have a negative effect on mental and physical well-being. It was further seen that women tend to be affected more than men (3). Going to a therapist and talking about why you don’t love your husband anymore will help you think with a clear mind.

You always have two options when you are no longer attracted to your spouse, you can either get separated and move on with time or stay and fight for it. If two options seem quite extreme, have an open conversation about what you both want in the years to come.

How To Tell Your Husband That You Don’t Love Him?

Understand that no one can permit you to get out of an unhappy marriage. You are the one who has to make the decision and go with it.

When you decide to have an honest and open conversation about what went wrong in your marriage, it can become quite emotional and heart-wrenching for both of you. And so, you might make the wrong decision. Hence, a marriage counselor can help you and your husband figure out the root cause of the dissatisfaction in the relationship. Once you know, you both can work together to better your bond.

You must remember that no long-term relationship has that “spark” one experiences in the initial stages. Instead, it is the devotion and affection for one another that grows over time. Before both of you decide to separate, taking some time apart from one another can be a good option. It gives you the time and space to think alone about your marriage and life.

Discovering that you have fallen out of love with your husband does not give you an automatic pass to leave him. If he is trying to be affectionate towards you and has not cheated on you, trying to work your way through the marriage is something you should try. Before ,asking a big decision, try to reconstruct your marriage once again.

References:

MomJunction's articles are written after analyzing the research works of expert authors and institutions. Our references consist of resources established by authorities in their respective fields. You can learn more about the authenticity of the information we present in our editorial policy.
  1. What the nose knows; The Harvard Gazette;
    https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2020/02/how-scent-emotion-and-memory-are-intertwined-and-exploited/
  2. D N Hawkins; Unhappily Ever After;
    https://www.jstor.org/stable/3598312
  3. D Smith; Why a bad marriage is worse for women than men; American Psychological Association;
    https://www.apa.org/monitor/dec01/badmarriage
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Shikha Thakur

Shikha is a writer-turned-associate editor at MomJunction. Her core interest lies in writing articles that guide couples through their courtship to marriage and parenthood. She also specializes in baby names. Being a postgraduate in Human Resources, she likes understanding people and their relationships. This reflects in her relationship articles, where she deals with both the rosy and the grey side... more