“If you love something, let it go.” This is how the saying goes, but it is not as easy as it may sound. Letting go of someone you love can be one of the most difficult things to do in life. The aftermath of a breakup can be quite taxing, especially if the person made a huge impact on your life.
However, the silver lining of letting go of someone you love is the experience that you gain. It can ultimately open up ways for better things in life. “How do I let go of someone I love?” you may ask. In this post, MomJunction tells you 15 different steps that you could take to let go of the person you love and move on.
15 Ways To Let Go Of Someone You Love
1. Accept the reality
Yes, it may sound like a horrible thing to do, but letting go means accepting the truth. No matter how things ended between you two, dealing with your emotions head-on and being completely honest with yourself can allow you to take stock of the situation and set your sights on the future.
2. Distance yourself
Break off contact and distance yourself, both physically and emotionally. You could start by deleting their number on your phone or blocking them on social media. Also, try to avoid the places they are likely to frequent. Now, your priority should be self-care and self-healing (more on these later in this post).
3. Discard the things that remind you of them
Apart from distancing yourself, you will also have to discard the things that are likely to remind you of them. From love letters to tickets and teddy bears to clothing, get rid of everything. If you are not ready to discard them just yet, box them. You also have to delete those songs on your playlist or photos that remind you of them.
4. Give yourself time to heal
Do not rush the process as it can only make it harder for you to process your feelings and emotions. Give yourself enough time to heal. Take the time to introspect and become self-aware of your feelings and emotions. Let yourself go through all the pain, anger, and sadness and remind yourself that this is a temporary phase. Of course, time may not heal all your wounds but will definitely make it easier for you to let go of that person.
5. Focus on yourself
Be kind to yourself. You could spend this time to find out what you want from life. Do the things that you have been planning to do but couldn’t until now. Also, spend some time in solitude and introspect on your current situation, the things you love, and the things you could live without.
6. Do not bottle up your feelings
After a breakup, you are bound to experience a whole range of feelings, including anger, disappointment, and hurt. The worst thing that you could do is to bottle up these feelings and emotions. Remember that it is completely normal to cry your heart out after a breakup. Bottling up your feelings could actually hold you back from letting go of your ex.
7. Banish the negative feelings
In order to let go of the person you love, you need to let go of your negative emotions. Figure out the feelings that you need leave behind, and make a conscious effort to find a healthy outlet—it could be something as simple as working out, painting, writing, punching a boxing bag, or talking to someone you trust.
8. Forgive yourself
Stop viewing your relationship as a failure and putting all the blame on yourself. Holding on to guilt will only hold you back. Instead, realize that the past is the past, and consider the mistakes that you have made as a learning experience.
9. Do not fantasize
To truly let go of the person you love, stop fantasizing about your ex coming back to you. Stop thinking about what could have been if you had done something differently or what could be if you get back together. Do a reality check, admit that whatever happened has happened for good, and look forward to the future. Indulging in fantasies will only stop you from moving on.
10. Reach out to someone you trust
The feelings of loneliness and isolation can overwhelm you. Reach out to a person you trust, confide in them, and get support and love from them. If possible, get guidance and advice from a loved one who had gone through a similar experience.
11. Take it as a learning experience
Breakups are never easy, but remember that each breakup comes with a learning experience. Instead of dwelling on what you could have done, count the lessons that the relationship has taught you. Identify what clicked and what didn’t. Learn from the mistakes you have committed. Remember, you’ll become a stronger person, and your next relationship would be stronger.
12. Spend quality time with your friends
Reach out to your friends with whom you could not spend enough time. Distract yourself from the hurt that you are experiencing by making plans with friends and doing fun things. However, remember to be choosy, and stick to those who you trust and can help you become the best version of yourself.
13. Practice self-care
The process of letting go of someone you love can impact your energy level and make you less motivated. Pamper yourself and channel all the love that you have been offering your partner to yourself. Fall in love with yourself, get enough rest, eat well, exercise, take a break from work, and make time for the simple, pleasurable things of life.
14. Stay single for a while
As you struggle to let go of someone you love, it is easy for you to seek love and attention from other people. However, avoid dating the next person you meet. Remember, you are not emotionally ready for it yet. Staying single for a while can help you assess what didn’t work for you and your partner and what you could do differently in your next relationship.
15. Seek professional help
The process of letting go of someone you love can be taxing. It can drain you emotionally and mentally. If, despite all your efforts, you can’t seem to control your emotions, try to approach a professional therapist or counselor. They could offer you a safe space to explore your pain and help you look at things from a new perspective.
Letting go of someone is difficult but doable. Give yourself enough time to endure the process and believe that you will come out of it a stronger person. Leaving your past behind can set you free and make way for better things in life.