What Are The Pros & Cons Of Living Together Before Marriage

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Living together before marriage can raise a number of eyebrows. Though it is similar to living like a married couple, this arrangement has its set of pros and cons. Cohabitation is all about sharing expenses, seeing each other every day, and getting acquainted with each other’s habits. It might sound exciting initially, but it is not easy for every couple to enjoy such a living arrangement. At the same time, after living together for a considerable amount of time before marriage, a formal marriage’s significance might be lost for you. So if you are confused and unable to make a decision, reading our post could help you.

Is Living Together Before Marriage A Good Or A Bad Idea?

The answer to this question differs for every couple. A live-in relationship works wonders for some couples, while it proves to be a disaster for some. To know if living together before marriage is a good idea for you and your partner, you need to determine why you want to live in. Then you need to weigh the pros and cons attached to this setup. Once you get your answer, you can better understand if you want to opt for living together before marriage or not.

Pros And Cons Of Living Together Before Marriage

Before you decide to live with your partner, carefully consider the pros and cons of it. Maybe the idea may not seem too fancy, or maybe you might find it too appealing to try out.

Pros Of Living Together Before Marriage

1. It helps spend some quality time together

For couples who find it difficult to make time for each other due to work commitments, a live-in setup can be a great idea to spend some quality time together every day. You can have at least one meal together and even travel to work together. You can share your daily activities and better understand each other.

2. It helps strengthen your bond

When you live together, you get acquainted with each other’s habits and lifestyles. You see one another’s good and bad sides. It helps you know one another better and deepen your bond as a couple.

3. It improves your sex life

Since you get more time to spend together, you have more time to explore and experiment in the bedroom. You can get as creative as you want as you have all the time in the world to have fun with your partner.

4. It saves a lot of money

Cohabitation means sharing rent and utilities. Since you are more likely to eat at home, you save a lot on expensive dates and outings. If you have a vehicle, you save on fuel as you can travel together. From a financial perspective, living together is economical.

5. It reduces marriage stress

Marriage can be a stressful process. Firstly, managing all the preparations for the wedding, then moving into a new house and changing most things about your life. By living together before marriage, you are already acquainted with cohabitation, so you need not be too stressed.

Cons Of Living Together Before Marriage

1. It gives an easy way out

Imagine investing so much time and energy in a relationship and then having your partner walk out on you because things got tough. This happens in a marriage too, but breaking a marriage is complicated so minor roadblocks in a relationship do not make a person want out of it so easily.

2. It is difficult to convince family

Living together before marriage is a concept that has been around for ages. However, its prevalence has no effect on people’s mindset. Your folks may disapprove of this idea and even be angry with you if you go ahead with it without their approval. It could be a dicey situation, especially because you don’t know how your relationship might turn out.

3. It may make marriage seem unimportant

A big con about living together before marriage is that living together may delay your marriage plans. You may become complacent and see no need to get married when you already live like one. In case things don’t work out, then you have already lost a lot of time dilly-dallying and have nothing to gain from the relationship.

4. It may negatively affect your relationship

When you start living together, you have to share responsibilities and expenses. Initially, discussing money matters can be tricky. If you do not handle it well, it might create cracks in your relationship. And if one of you earns a lot more than the other, then things may get even more complicated than ever.

5. It may cause boredom

When you are dating, you have limited time to spend with each other before you get back to your house. There is excitement to meet each other, and you want to make the most of it. But that disappears in a live-in as the excitement of meeting each other evaporates quickly. Also, you discover more about your partner and understand that you may not like everything about them and eventually feel bored of the relationship.

How To Know You Are Ready For Marriage After Living Together?

Marriage is an important milestone for couples who have lived together for a while and know each other too well. However, not every live-in relationship culminates into marriage. It takes a lot more than just cohabitation for a couple to get married. Here are some ways to tell if you are ready for marriage after living together.

1. Living together is fun

If you have been living together for a substantial amount of time, have had a fair share of ups and downs, arguments and fights, and still enjoy living together, it means you are suitable for the long haul. Marriage can make your bond stronger.

2. Trusting each other is easy

Living together has taught you and your partner to trust each other. You now rely on each other like a team and help one another whenever needed. Your lives are connected in every way possible, hence marriage is the only way forward.

3. Exciting to start a family

You have enjoyed your honeymoon phase of living together and are sure you want to spend the rest of your life as a couple. Marriage seems like the next step in life before you decide to extend your family.

4. Looking forward to starting a new phase

After living together, if the thought of sharing a surname, sharing assets, and growing together excites you, then marriage is for you. If your cohabitation experience has been good and marriage itself excites you, then you should give it a shot.

5. Feeling sure about marriage

Lastly, living together has made you and your partner realize how much you love each other and want marriage for yourself. You know it in your heart that this is the partner for you, and you do not want to delay making it officially legal anymore.

Like any other relationship, there are pros and cons of living together. You have to weigh your options and decide what is best for you and if live-in suits your needs and preference. Ensure that you have carefully considered all aspects of this setup before going for it.

Key Pointers

  • Living together before wedlock is a personal choice but should be considered after carefully analyzing all aspects.
  • The benefits include more time together, improved intimacy, and lower personal expenses.
  • However, the couple may easily feel bored and consider marriage unimportant.

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Dee Gill

Dee Gill is a Registered Clinical Counselor and a Canadian Certified Counsellor with over 30+ years of clinical experience in public and private practice. She has done her MA in Counseling Psychology from Adler University in Vancouver (Canada), BA from the University of Victoria (Canada), and Coaching Training from the Institute for Life Coach Training and Therapist University. She has... more

Siddharth Kesiraju

Siddharth holds a master's degree in communication and journalism from the University of Hyderabad. He has around six years of experience in various fields of writing and editing. As an associate editor at MomJunction, Siddharth edits and ensures the articles are aligned with the website's editorial standards. Having done a certification course in Relationship Coaching, he also writes on Relationships.... more