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I remember an elderly gentleman confessing once as to how envious he was of the special gift of procreation that women have. Some time later I figured out that women aren’t devoid of this emotion either. That bulging tummy is the sign of growing and sustaining life. So even if you are a mother already, a young mom or a mom with lots of gray hair, and you see other pregnant women, you will be overcome by an intense yearning for that beautiful pot-belly you once had. On the other hand, you will be able to read the minds of other women like you who silently sigh at encounters with a pregnant belly. We miss the pregnancy episode, not so much for the unexpected changes that we might go through, but for that jutting out circumference that was the safest haven your baby could have before coming into the world. We miss that protrusion not so much for the pride we carry along with our babies, but for the innocent love that prevailed then.
It’s amazing how your baby remains cocooned inside you for all those months when you two will already have formed an unbreakable bond. You will get responsive signs that will amaze you. At first the fetus is so small, it will swim around in the amniotic fluid. As it grows, you feel those kicks – sometimes as a reaction to what you think about or when you speak to it. Other times it just moves inside – vigorously – and you can’t stop chuckling. But more than anything there is this strong intuitive connect that you reverberate between the two of you.
Your baby will already be flapping, turning around or attempting that somersault as to acknowledge, “I am doing OK here mom, I am ‘alive and kicking’.” Sure you take every precaution to keep the baby safe – no bending, no taking elevators, no sleeping in wrong postures, the right diet and exercising control over what isn’t good for that little thing in there.
This is not it. Your baby is cocooned against a gamut of scary things in the world outside. It’s good that you are insulating him against all the wickedness, the trickery and the vagaries that go in around here. He relies on one simple commodity of love this time around. And then comes the time he must be out in the world. And wham! As your baby grows you begin to notice the changes that life brings in him every single day. You will try protecting him against witnessing so much hate and prejudices out there.
You won’t want him to see the images malnourished children on the UN index on poverty. You don’t want him to see the violence recreated on television. You might buy him his favorite ninja warrior game and yet keep him away from the real world war and crime news making the headlines.
I can’t fathom what some people mean by just letting it go. As it may seem, it stifles their evolution. Evolution? We don’t know if it fits into the context of being or not being what you want to become of him or portray the character that you had painted of him in your mind. Growing with values is what I would regard as evolution. But here he is being exposed to the whims and fancies of the people around and the fickle world. You will teach him well, but part of the influences can not be entirely undone.
And this is when you want that pregnant belly back. If only your grown up child could understand what you went through while rearing him inside you. If only he could realize what it took you to bring him into the world. If only he could recall all the sacrifices you made for him. If only he could acknowledge the fortitude that kept you going with all his capriciousness. If only he could recall that those arguments, rebukes, humiliating moments are all pardoned because of your boundless love for him. If only nature could rewind the times when he was just a growing fetus inside you. If only he could go back into that cocoon that you once made for him. And this time, the feeling to have that thing back will be a result of celebrated memories that seems stolen.
So my advice to soon-to-be moms out there – embrace your pregnant bellies now. Love it for what it is right now. Love those kicks before you must meet with jolts from life.
