You have a long steady relationship with a loving person, and both of you are comfortable spending time with each other. So, does that mean you can move in together? Well, many couples are emotionally attached and share a great bond. They find each other’s presence fascinating. They even visit each other’s houses frequently. Their parents also know about their relationship and are quite comfortable and accepting about it. These couples might seem excited about the idea of cohabitation. However, this arrangement comes with its own set of challenges. One wrong step or misjudged conversation can ruin the relationship. So, if you are planning to move in with your partner, this post gives you signs that will let you know if staying together is a feasible option in your relationship.
13+ Signs You’re Ready To Move In Together
1. It feels like the next natural step
Moving in together with your significant other is an exciting and natural next step forward if you have been in a long-term commitment. You spend nights together, or you’ve got some of your important items in your partner’s apartment. Moving in together feels like the next natural step when you feel you shouldn’t have to commute between the two spaces to reunite.
There are other signs, but spending significant time together is a natural indicator to take your relationship to the next step.
2. Almost living together
You wake up cuddled together in bed, you don’t have to pack your bag for staying the night, and you have more than a pair of clothes stacked in your partner’s apartment. Your toothbrush has a home in the bathroom cabinet, you cook and clean together, and you have a key to each other’s apartment.
These are significant signs that you are ready to move in together. The time you spend together makes it easier to adjust to the nitty-gritty of living with your partner. Insignificant things like leaving tea bags on the countertop or forgetting to put the toilet seat down won’t drive you up the wall.
3. It’s right for your relationship
You have to merge into a relationship with your partner for the right reasons, not because you have been dating for too long. You do not want to cohabit because there is pressure from your partner, family, or friends. Financial considerations are important, but you may not want to move in only because you will save rental or reduce your living expenses. Moving in together should be a logical and mutual decision.
Faith Joan Chua, a blogger, shares the story of moving in with her boyfriend after a few months of being in a relationship. She says, “My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year plus, and I think our relationship progressed and matured pretty quickly because we were very ‘no-nonsense, just wanna be serious.’ Within two months of dating, we went on our first trip together. The next month, I met his parents; a few more months later, he met my parents, and about a year later, I started staying over with him regularly. I know it’s pretty fast, but that was how our relationship worked, and everything has been perfect!
“We took this approach mainly because both of us have gotten really hurt by other people in the past and didn’t want to waste time on something that was nothing. Also, within less than six months of getting together, we were already hit with our relationship’s biggest challenge – doing long distance… But of course, all these happened really naturally for us, and we never forced anything when we weren’t ready (i).”
4. You both agree on it
The decision to join in together is an important one. But before you take the big plunge, you should talk to your partner about your long-term goals to see if you’re on the same page. Deciding to fuse with your partner may not necessarily mean that your relationship will result in marriage. If you are keen on marriage and want to move in because of it, talk to your partner first to know what they think the future of the relationship is.
5. You’re relaxed around each other
One of the most rewarding parts of the relationship would be the freedom you experience in it, to be completely relaxed and at ease around your partner. It could be a good idea to consolidate into one if you and your partner are okay with each other’s imperfections and flaws. In short, you feel right at home when you are with your partner. If that is the case, it could be time to take your relationship to the next stage.
Living together means you have to be comfortable with your partner even if they come home smelly after a workout or snore.
6. You’ve discussed future expectations
The importance of communication in making a relationship successful cannot be stressed enough. If you are thinking about moving in together, it’s essential to discuss your expectations of your partner. Do you plan to entertain guests often? Do you want to spend most nights together at home or want to go out? Do you want your partner to share daily chores? How do you split the bills?
These are among the many things that need to be discussed before you move in with your partner.
7. You have compatible lifestyles
Successful cohabitation means compatible lifestyle choices. Often, couples’ sleeping patterns or food eating habits do not match up. Living together could be daunting if your partner is a night owl who binges on fast food, and you are an early riser who loves healthy food.
This doesn’t mean you won’t have a successful relationship, but a few fundamental commonalities in your lifestyles are necessary to make a smooth transition to collaborate. If you both like waking up early and going for a run before work, come home in the evening in time to eat home-cooked meals, and like to stay in on the weekends, moving together would be an instant success!
8. You’ve made a financial plan
Love relationships aren’t always sentimental. Moving in together invariably involves financial chemistry. When you decide to associate together, you will have to share larger expenses as a couple. Financial compatibility is as important as physical and emotional compatibility to build a happy and secure future together.
When you decide to move in together, it is always desirable to discuss finances, such as monthly rents, groceries, and utilities. It is always prudent to discuss who shares which expenses to save the relationship from potential disaster.
9. You’ve fought and made up
A love relationship is not always about dancing under the moon, candlelight dinners, or walking along the beach at sunset. Love is a package of bouquets and brickbats. Even the most ideal partners in the throes of love often engage in fights over silly issues. Fights are commonplace in a relationship. This is a healthy sign to move in together.
10. You’ve successfully vacationed together
“Vacations are not about getting away but getting in touch,” goes an old Chinese proverb. Vacations work wonders. They give an excellent opportunity to test your strength as a couple and discover things about each other that makes it easier to commingle with each other.
During vacations, whether a weekend or longer, you’re around each other 24/7. You’re away from your daily routine, out of your comfort zone, and the most vulnerable. At this time, along with the happy times, if you’ve successfully handled everything from your partner’s fatigues and ailments to hangry moments and annoying indecisiveness about where to eat and what to do, living together will be a breeze.
11. The loss of independence doesn’t bother you
Living with the right person offers perks, but you may have to give up a bit of your freedom. Your partner will be pretty in tune to blend with your comings and goings. You’re ready to transition to cohabitation when you don’t mind checking in, you’re prepared to share a bathroom sink, and you’ll be in each other’s personal space often.
12. You complement one another
When you reside together, it’s essential to complement one another. This ensures your partner doesn’t feel like they’re putting more effort into the relationship.
If your partner hates doing laundry, you can do the laundry while they do the dishes. If you’re a night owl, contribute to the living situation by cooking dinner and asking your partner to manage breakfast duties. The art of keeping a great home relationship is keeping things balanced and playing fair.
If both of you accept each other’s strong and not-so-strong points, you can occupy most things without tiptoeing around or constantly bickering when you move in together. Too many differences may work against you. Recognize the attraction of opposites and take advantage of each other’s strengths!
13. You share common interests
If you’re going to be moving in together, you need to unify on several preferences. Whether it’s keeping the house clean, liking boho décor, colorful interiors or going on camping trips, playing video games, opting for hangouts, or watching movies, finding interests or activities you both enjoy will make things easy.
It can be frustrating to enjoy each other’s company when one loves the outdoors and the other enjoys sleeping all day and watching TV. Common interests ensure the transition to cohabitation, and the later stages go well.
14. You want to live together
You may be under peer pressure when your friends or people within your social circle are making the transition to cohabitation. You may feel pressured to accommodate together as it feels like a logical next step. But to co-live together because of peer pressure or because it seems like a cool thing to do can backfire. Each person is different, and what feels comfortable for your friend may not be enough for you. Do it only if moving in together feels like the right step for both of you.
How Do Reasons For Moving In Together Differ From Marriage?
Moving in or getting married are personal decisions, but the reasons to synchronize can vary. Some of the motivational factors for marriage include having social benefits, a family and raising children together, financial security, having a fulfilling sex life, and being happy. However, some adults believe these benefits could be achieved through cohabitation without marriage.
A survey of US adults was conducted to determine the causes of marriage or living together. 90% of married and 73% of cohabiting individuals cited love as the primary driver. In addition, 63% of those already married say they wanted to make a formal commitment. Finally, 38% of respondents noted that convenience and financial stability had a role in their decision to move in with their partner.
Risk of depression by chocolate intakeSource: Is there a relationship between chocolate consumption and symptoms of depression? A cross-sectional survey of 13,626 US adults; Wiley online library
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How long should you wait to move in together?
There’s no general rule when you want to move in together. But in theory, it should be after you’ve gotten to know your partner well, which might take six months or two years. Therefore, you might want to sync in with them after being a part of all aspects of their life.
2. What is the three-month rule?
The three-month rule states that it is safer for newly formed couples to wait three months before making any major decisions like getting married or moving in together. The theory is that within these three months, you might make some important discoveries that might change the course of the relationship.
3. What to do if moving in together doesn’t work out?
If moving in together did not work out for you and your partner, try to identify the cause. Discuss the effect of moving out might have on your relationship and if you would like to continue to see each other. If the love between you two has not diminished, you may think of strategies to make things work.
Moving in together is a big step in a relationship, and one should make sure that they are completely ready to coexist before making a hasty decision. Maybe following the signs listed here can help you in making the decision. It’s also important to have a detailed discussion with your partner about how things will be and how you will manage situations between the two of you to ensure harmony in the house and that you also get enough time together. If you feel that you tick all the points in this list and are sure about your decision, make sure you enjoy every step of the way.
Infographic: Things To Consider Before Moving In Together
Moving in with your partner is a big step in a relationship that indicates that you are both comfortable showing your vulnerability to each other. So to make it a smooth transition and a happy journey ahead, we have included the essential points you must discuss before moving in so that the needs of both of you are met.
- When you start feeling at home with your partner, you may be ready to move in together.
- You can take this step once you have determined that you are compatible with each other, share common interests, and discuss your future plans.
- Decide to do it when both of you are comfortable with the idea and not under any peer pressure.
Moving in together is a big step. Learn when the right time is to take the plunge and make the commitment.
Personal Experience: Source
i. How it’s like moving in with my boyfriend?: what it’s like;